I feel like I am going insane.
I fear that this would cost me everything I have.

I just don't know how to deal with the real world.

I need you.

I want to cry.

But I don't have a solid reason to cry, I just want to cry.

I feel like there are millions of things pinning my soul down and I am stuck in this body of mine with no idea of what I am doing, or where I am heading. What is my purpose? I am confused. I don't really know what I want either. If only I could let my soul be free for one moment.

I am always absent minded, sort of. I have no clue what I am doing. Where at the same time, I know that I should at least know something. But recently, even the basic things that I am used to.. seems more foreign to my system than ever.

I don't find a point in being a nice person anymore.
Truth be told, it hurts to be a nice person. Somehow, I find more joy in being mean to people. Something I would not have seen as a thing a couple of years ago. But here I am, enjoying the pain that everyone else who deserves the suffering. Throwing shots at people who are absolutely happy but look like some bum who does not deserve to be happy at all. A feeling where I want to drag people into this 'misery' that I feel. There wasn't any reason to be happy.. and happiness is always temporary..

I don't know what am I feeling.

What have I done to get this? I am tired of living my life. I don't see any purpose in it at all. The only thing that is keeping me from stopping right now is that I have a dream that I want to reach.

I need to be patient and kind.