I can't have meals by myself.
It makes me feel very sad.

Here's why I 'burned' you.

Sometimes I wonder what has gotten into me.

Then I realize its the sense of anonymity whereby it allows a person to say nasty things to people online, thinking they don't actually know they are. It seems that I have adopted this cyber bullying behavior whereby I post nasty things onto people's Instagram post whom I don't really know, and mention 'thoughtful' things about the photo. People in general wouldn't like it. I know, I very well know people don't. However, some part of me just wanted to put my piece of mind out there. Possibly just so I could be heard.

But of course, that's just not the right thing to do. I understand that people will feel angry or upset at the things that I post. Though it really fuels me up when I know that I manage to annoy them. It's like the best reward I can get for being mean.

Before you start piling up your hate on me. Please understand that I know what I am doing and it really is just me making people annoyed. I know what it feels like to be hampered online for no good reason. And I really am aware that this behavior should not be encouraged.

Though really. I need a job. I have too much time in hand..

But anyways, I don't expect people to like me. If you're going to say, 'you need to change your attitude and behavior'. I would not disagree with you.

Let's just put in this way, I used to be the girl who was afraid of everything. Something happened along the way, and now I am feeling fearless. I'd make people hate me on purpose, I'd actively decide that some people are not worth spending time on, I'd make other people feel horrible whenever I feel like it. I could feel as though I finally found my voice and the power to change whatever I wish to be different.

Being nice in general is difficult. But if I want to, I can. Just not at the moment. I just hate everything about people right now.

It will be some time again before I shift gears to a different personality. But until that happens. This will be it.

3 months in.
Still no clue with what to do with my life.