What an audition is like.
I have yet to get myself to audition once. But this would be my first time being at a venue where an audition is being held. Here in Singapore again for the 2nd time in less than a months interval, accompanying my dear friend for the audition. Trying out to be a chance to be a jyp training. It's a kpop company, that brought Wonder Girls, 2am, 2pm and Miss A to existence. Well, as a kpop fan myself, I should probably be participating in the audition as well, yes? But. I chose not to.
Being a kpop artist in training, I would have to give up my social life, I would say being a slave to the company. But this, is a dream to some people for getting the chance to be a kpop star, what more under this well known name of jyp. You would have to have the talent and commitment like no other just to be one. There was practically so much that the company demands for, it felt like I would not have a chance anyways. Knowing that I wasnt willing to give up my social life, especially my blog, this one commitment is rather difficult for me to give it up.
I remember I used to have a dream of being a kpop artist. Back when I was in high school, with practically no hopes to look up to, being lazy to think of the future, being an artist is like the easiest thing to do then. =P
But I have my future planned now, and that I am moments away from fulfilling it, being a kpop star seems ridiculous now. Heh. Hypocrite bitch I am. But I am honest. >< besides, I know my voice isnt consistent and strong enough to be considered. What if I was lucky enough to actually be chosen to be a trainee? Nope. I'd give this one up still.
As I was in line, accompanying my friend with her registration, I glance through the many hopefuls, trying to see what the judges may seem to be interested in. From the experience of looking at array of kpop artists out there, only a few were the creme de la creme out of the rest. Those who got my attention the moment I glance through the crowd. For sure everyone was looking at their best, yes? Some were already looking like potential artists. Others weren't as much. Stereotyping, yeah. But if speaking about talents, it is hopeful that some would be good enough to wow the judges. That would be really cool, honestly. =) those would probably be worth for the company to keep as trainees.
Fact that they even try out for this was already respectable. Not many would actually dare to try out. People like me, for instance. Only problem was that, some people think that they were good enough when they actually weren't, would probably annoy the judges. =/
Looking at people walking out from the room. Feeling nervous for my friend now. =O We both know it is impossible to get through, but it was still worth a try, it was her dream. It was mine too, but I dropped it, and I came by to support hers. I was already having another dream becoming a reality, it would be too much if I wanted too many dreams at the same time, no?
"so many awkward moments in my dance"
Mmh. Everybody is coming out rejected. See? It's not that easy, man. Thus the guts is something I respect. =)
But there is one thing that annoys the crap out of me. Kpop stars wannabes. They have this distinct aura that makes me feel like they exist to annoy the crap our of other proper kpop fans. These people would be going on an on about how they love this artist, tries irritating their dance, singing and also style. It was as though they have lost their own identity and were trying to be awesome like their idols. They dont understand that they dont have the talent yet thinking that they have it all, the whole damn package to be like one of their idolized artists. There is a difference between the types of fans out there.
I think I just did some thrashing at that previous paragraph. Well, as a kpop fan myself, I do get annoyed by them. =/
Anyhoo. Being a kpop artist is a big deal. You train your vocals, practise your dance choreos and learn entertainment things for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You practically have only sufficient time to do almost nothing at all. What is fixed, is your schedule and you work with the schedule given to you. I dont know what life exactly is like when you are a kpop star, all I know is that they are constantly working and they have no time for themselves. If you are in a group, you would have to bond really well with them, as they will be your family until your stardom fades. And your fans are the only support you can get, aside from your surrogate family. For it will be difficult for you to even reach out to your own social circle in the midst of that packed schedule. =(
Sacrifices are indeed necessary when the 'want' is there.
10.36am, 14th Jan 2012.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
" girls fucking hate each other"
True that. And thank goodness for the existence of Jenna Marbles, who knows she actually manage to make some differences with her honest thoughts through her YouTube videos. People in general prefer watching 'funny' videos and she has them. How she portrays and tackles certain topics, actually amuses me. Her honesty struck me the most. Especially with her usage of "fuck" at almost every sentence possible, where she placed them were somehow appropriate and doesnt make me stop to cringe for abit. I am quite sensitive to this word, to be honest. I guess it was due to it being overused at unnecessary times. But she, uses them appropriately somehow. It just hits the right place.
There has to be an inspiration for every post, or even any action to be precise. There would have to be somemore of factor that would be the cause of something else to happen, yes? And today, I saw a newly posted video by Jenna Marbles about how girls hate each other. I was agreeing with everything she said. Impressed that she still managed to make it entertaining eventhough it may be some serious matter to talk about.
As a matter of fact, it is precisely the reason why I prefer to hang out more with the guys as compared to the girls. I feel extremely insecure whenever I am around girls, that feeling whereby I will constantly be judged by every move I take, every word I say, at almost everything. It can get terrifying as it progresses. Though it really does depend in each individual. But as I see it, girls are always talking about other people. If given the chance, they would compare themselves with the others. Some kind of competition to be the best out of the best. Maybe. It still happens regardless. Unlike guys, they just go freely with everything and anything. They are most honest when they say, "nothing". For a girl, "nothing" literally means EVERYTHING.
I, am a girl. I judge too, hence the existence of insecurity. It terrifies me, for I would find more and more of my own flaws when I am around girls. They can say almost anything. Even without you asking, they would have the answer ready already. Guys? They wont give it much thoughts, until the moment they think of it or when you ask at that specific moment. "why think so much" they would say, fact is, our brains are filled with almost EVERYTHING. I wish I know why, but we just do. =/ it gets quite tiring trying to figure this out though.
Even right now, I am really tired. But I just feel like talking about this.
I like how the boys think. Minus all those dirty thoughts and the excessive cursings, yeap, it's mostly clear and peaceful. Finding a guy who hates another guy's is pretty uncommon if you ask me, I would definitely say something is seriously wrong with that dude, cause guys would say that they are angry or they couldnt care less about those that dont require their attention. Girls? "I hate this person", and the reasons would normally be unreasonable. And they have tons to backup on why she hates them. We can see girls getting jealous more often and hating much more too. Even with people they DON'T KNOW. And girls would always complain that the guys are never understanding, I question if they actually tried understanding boys before they say that. I pity the boys. =/ I really do.
Girls are complicated as hell. >=(
Accept my own flaws as a girl and flaunt it. Sure, I accepted the fact that I am not the best of the best, yet I STILL watch what people have to say about me. I'd say I could use them to improve myself. But the truth is, as much as I try to improve myself, I will never be the best. I try not to let the comments bother me, I guess trying still needs some reinforcements.
True that. And thank goodness for the existence of Jenna Marbles, who knows she actually manage to make some differences with her honest thoughts through her YouTube videos. People in general prefer watching 'funny' videos and she has them. How she portrays and tackles certain topics, actually amuses me. Her honesty struck me the most. Especially with her usage of "fuck" at almost every sentence possible, where she placed them were somehow appropriate and doesnt make me stop to cringe for abit. I am quite sensitive to this word, to be honest. I guess it was due to it being overused at unnecessary times. But she, uses them appropriately somehow. It just hits the right place.
There has to be an inspiration for every post, or even any action to be precise. There would have to be somemore of factor that would be the cause of something else to happen, yes? And today, I saw a newly posted video by Jenna Marbles about how girls hate each other. I was agreeing with everything she said. Impressed that she still managed to make it entertaining eventhough it may be some serious matter to talk about.
As a matter of fact, it is precisely the reason why I prefer to hang out more with the guys as compared to the girls. I feel extremely insecure whenever I am around girls, that feeling whereby I will constantly be judged by every move I take, every word I say, at almost everything. It can get terrifying as it progresses. Though it really does depend in each individual. But as I see it, girls are always talking about other people. If given the chance, they would compare themselves with the others. Some kind of competition to be the best out of the best. Maybe. It still happens regardless. Unlike guys, they just go freely with everything and anything. They are most honest when they say, "nothing". For a girl, "nothing" literally means EVERYTHING.
I, am a girl. I judge too, hence the existence of insecurity. It terrifies me, for I would find more and more of my own flaws when I am around girls. They can say almost anything. Even without you asking, they would have the answer ready already. Guys? They wont give it much thoughts, until the moment they think of it or when you ask at that specific moment. "why think so much" they would say, fact is, our brains are filled with almost EVERYTHING. I wish I know why, but we just do. =/ it gets quite tiring trying to figure this out though.
Even right now, I am really tired. But I just feel like talking about this.
I like how the boys think. Minus all those dirty thoughts and the excessive cursings, yeap, it's mostly clear and peaceful. Finding a guy who hates another guy's is pretty uncommon if you ask me, I would definitely say something is seriously wrong with that dude, cause guys would say that they are angry or they couldnt care less about those that dont require their attention. Girls? "I hate this person", and the reasons would normally be unreasonable. And they have tons to backup on why she hates them. We can see girls getting jealous more often and hating much more too. Even with people they DON'T KNOW. And girls would always complain that the guys are never understanding, I question if they actually tried understanding boys before they say that. I pity the boys. =/ I really do.
Girls are complicated as hell. >=(
Accept my own flaws as a girl and flaunt it. Sure, I accepted the fact that I am not the best of the best, yet I STILL watch what people have to say about me. I'd say I could use them to improve myself. But the truth is, as much as I try to improve myself, I will never be the best. I try not to let the comments bother me, I guess trying still needs some reinforcements.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
I won't give up talking to the moon for a thousand years.
Three song titles placed alongside each other in that manner, sounds really sweet somehow. =')
My sister's wedding. Fell on the very spectacular date of 8th January 2012. The skies threatened to dampen our moods and all those planning my dear sister did. Thank goodness the Sun shone over and won the battle against the rain. The garden wedding went on smoothly with the skies that had lost the battle, providing all if the guest with a cloudy carpet of shade. Not too hot, no rain, just splendid. It was a picture perfect sky. Picture perfect bride, picture perfect marriage.
She, is finally wedded. It was only last year, September that, my brother signed his marriage cert with his wife. And now, a wedding for my sister. Nope. It was meant to be. Somehow. Brother's ceremony will be this year October. While my sister will be returning to aussie to register her marriage end of this month. Both weddings are totally opposite. Simply because my sister married an aussie, which meant it has to have some western elements in it. While my brother's is a traditional Chinese wedding.
This wedding however, was an emergence of an Chinese Asian with an Australian. To keep the tradition alive, this one wedding had to have traditions of both the cultures together, in one wedding. It was a good thing that my sister is a freethinker, and also with a family who does not have a strong touch with the traditional Chinese tradition of marriage. Thus a little bit of this and that, just to keep the tradition alive was enough. It was also a good exposure to both cultures. Both cultures learning a little bit of what the other culture is like. It was just perfect.
Brides would normally seem really nervous for their wedding. This one, was however extremely calm. Nope. I take that back. Laid back was more appropriate. =P for this bride had all her bridezilla moments while planning her big day. Knowing that everything is taken care of for her big day, even the bridezilla could just chill and follow what was planned because everything was already in place. Nothing to worry about. I, however as a bridesmaid. Had tons to worry about. It was her big day, and of course I can't let anything ruin it, yes?
Bridezilla was scolding me almost all the way until that very day. Cant blame her. So I just went with the flow. From being her chauffeur to helping her place her train properly. Honestly, I am pretty sure I did a bad job being her bridesmaid. No doubt I tried my best. But. Haha! I cant forget the part where I gave a bad impression on the other bridesmaids. My sister had always been capable of doing things on her own. She would only ask me for help when she really needs me. I knew that. So on her wedding day, dear bride mentioned that it is easier for her to hold her own train while walking. Since so, I figured I would just let her be. Oops. My brother's wife was there when I said, "aiya you kao time yourself la" (ah, you can handler this on your own) was misunderstood that I didnt want to help my dear bride. ='( emo.
There weren't much for me to do as a bridesmaid, really. I just needed to help keeptrack with the time, pass messages from the bride to the externals, get some food for the bride, fan the bride, get tissue for the bride, get tissue for the other bridesmaid, Steve tea, wash teacups, things I would normally do if needed. Yeah. =) there was on thing I did not do though. Helping at the reception table for dinner. I forgotten what I was doing. Probably resting in the room for abit. By the time I reached back out to help, it was already done. =/ oops.
Best part of the day? My proudest moment! Wearing a pair of 2.5inches of heels for the whole event. Was running around in those, up and down getting things done. Thank goodness they didnt bite my feet, only caused some soreness which lasted up til today, 2 days after the event. Was my first time wearing heels for such a long time. Owh. And it made me really tall. Haha! I have gotten used to being a tallie. And I like it. Heels make my legs look longer... Lol. I shall stop here. This post is about the wedding. Omg.
...
A wedding, the unison of two individuals who made a vow to live their lives together. Sounds really romantic. This wedding itself was a romantic one. Walking down the aisle before the bride makes her appearance, I could feel that heavy emotion quite strongly, the one that could make me cry eventhough I wasnt the bride. It was extremely touching. Looking at faces of family and friends, smiling, being happy for the couple to be united. It was beautiful. Bride walking out behind me, with her father in hand. Am pretty sure her husband was having a difficult time breathing, looking at his beautiful bride walking towards him. Then the 'promises' made, saying I do, exchanging of rings, and their first husband and wife kiss.
The epic photographer asked them to kiss again cause he couldnt capture the moment. Stirred up some laughters on everyone's hearts, while some went, 'awww'. =)
Then it was time for a short photo session. The sunset provided spectacular hues of colours throughout the sky, providing a romantic scene for a picture perfect moment. The light exposure was just right for the moment. Orangey backdrop, with three bridesmaids in hot red, three white donned groomsmen, flanking the happily married couple. Doubt nothing could come close to this exquisite moment captured.
...
I was running up and down, handing tissues to wipe away sweat that was caking the bride's makeup. That and also fanning to keep her slightly cooled. Haha! The bouquet of flower I was holding was somewhat a handful. =P
...
Tea serving ceremony. The Chinese part of the wedding.
Wedded couple serve teas to their elders and receive gifts. While the younger ones were given ang paus. Typical Chinese tradition. Definitely something for those who did not know of the Chinese culture, to know of. I could hear my uncle explaining to the groom's family on what it actually was. I was busy keeping track of the tea servings.
Dinner time! Awwh worthy! We have the groomsmen speaking about the groom and the bridesmaid talking about the bride. My sister was wearing a custom made cheongsam. It wasnt to say that we get to wear cheongsam as often in these recent days, I took the opportunity to wear mine too. =P and of course there were a lot of drinking. My sister shocked me. And probably everyone else too. The couple were given a cupful of a mixture of every alcohol available that night. My sister downed it in one go. In. One. Go. Could see that the groom was struggling a little though. Haha! But my sis was still standing. Learned from her, that drinking water after alcohol would somehow dilute the tipsy effect. =D
The boys got all drunk. My brother was the joker of the night. He was even happier than the groom. Hahaha! Which was quite cool. I never really thought of how drunkards would really behave up til that night. They were all happy! Which brought us much laughter. They were so happily drunk that they went and jump into the pool. It was only an initial plan of dunking the groom. But boy they were happy men, everyone went in except two of them. But the funniest would have to be my brother. Havent seen him in such state ever in my life! =P I'm still laughing at it today. =)
Wedding is over, and now my sister is Mrs. Hunter.
Thank you for trusting me into being your maid of honour. Maid of honour. Sounds like a slave job suddenly. But it was still an honour. =') thank you!
And I had fun, being dolled up and being pretty for that day. Being a part of such a meaningful event. Wah! Touching! =D
Gotta come home for my brother's wedding! Woots!
Ps. My brother and my sister are actually my cousins, been living with them since forever, it felt easier for me to just call them sister and brother without the extra cousin in front. =)
11.45pm, 10th Jan 2012.
Three song titles placed alongside each other in that manner, sounds really sweet somehow. =')
My sister's wedding. Fell on the very spectacular date of 8th January 2012. The skies threatened to dampen our moods and all those planning my dear sister did. Thank goodness the Sun shone over and won the battle against the rain. The garden wedding went on smoothly with the skies that had lost the battle, providing all if the guest with a cloudy carpet of shade. Not too hot, no rain, just splendid. It was a picture perfect sky. Picture perfect bride, picture perfect marriage.
She, is finally wedded. It was only last year, September that, my brother signed his marriage cert with his wife. And now, a wedding for my sister. Nope. It was meant to be. Somehow. Brother's ceremony will be this year October. While my sister will be returning to aussie to register her marriage end of this month. Both weddings are totally opposite. Simply because my sister married an aussie, which meant it has to have some western elements in it. While my brother's is a traditional Chinese wedding.
This wedding however, was an emergence of an Chinese Asian with an Australian. To keep the tradition alive, this one wedding had to have traditions of both the cultures together, in one wedding. It was a good thing that my sister is a freethinker, and also with a family who does not have a strong touch with the traditional Chinese tradition of marriage. Thus a little bit of this and that, just to keep the tradition alive was enough. It was also a good exposure to both cultures. Both cultures learning a little bit of what the other culture is like. It was just perfect.
Brides would normally seem really nervous for their wedding. This one, was however extremely calm. Nope. I take that back. Laid back was more appropriate. =P for this bride had all her bridezilla moments while planning her big day. Knowing that everything is taken care of for her big day, even the bridezilla could just chill and follow what was planned because everything was already in place. Nothing to worry about. I, however as a bridesmaid. Had tons to worry about. It was her big day, and of course I can't let anything ruin it, yes?
Bridezilla was scolding me almost all the way until that very day. Cant blame her. So I just went with the flow. From being her chauffeur to helping her place her train properly. Honestly, I am pretty sure I did a bad job being her bridesmaid. No doubt I tried my best. But. Haha! I cant forget the part where I gave a bad impression on the other bridesmaids. My sister had always been capable of doing things on her own. She would only ask me for help when she really needs me. I knew that. So on her wedding day, dear bride mentioned that it is easier for her to hold her own train while walking. Since so, I figured I would just let her be. Oops. My brother's wife was there when I said, "aiya you kao time yourself la" (ah, you can handler this on your own) was misunderstood that I didnt want to help my dear bride. ='( emo.
There weren't much for me to do as a bridesmaid, really. I just needed to help keeptrack with the time, pass messages from the bride to the externals, get some food for the bride, fan the bride, get tissue for the bride, get tissue for the other bridesmaid, Steve tea, wash teacups, things I would normally do if needed. Yeah. =) there was on thing I did not do though. Helping at the reception table for dinner. I forgotten what I was doing. Probably resting in the room for abit. By the time I reached back out to help, it was already done. =/ oops.
Best part of the day? My proudest moment! Wearing a pair of 2.5inches of heels for the whole event. Was running around in those, up and down getting things done. Thank goodness they didnt bite my feet, only caused some soreness which lasted up til today, 2 days after the event. Was my first time wearing heels for such a long time. Owh. And it made me really tall. Haha! I have gotten used to being a tallie. And I like it. Heels make my legs look longer... Lol. I shall stop here. This post is about the wedding. Omg.
...
A wedding, the unison of two individuals who made a vow to live their lives together. Sounds really romantic. This wedding itself was a romantic one. Walking down the aisle before the bride makes her appearance, I could feel that heavy emotion quite strongly, the one that could make me cry eventhough I wasnt the bride. It was extremely touching. Looking at faces of family and friends, smiling, being happy for the couple to be united. It was beautiful. Bride walking out behind me, with her father in hand. Am pretty sure her husband was having a difficult time breathing, looking at his beautiful bride walking towards him. Then the 'promises' made, saying I do, exchanging of rings, and their first husband and wife kiss.
The epic photographer asked them to kiss again cause he couldnt capture the moment. Stirred up some laughters on everyone's hearts, while some went, 'awww'. =)
Then it was time for a short photo session. The sunset provided spectacular hues of colours throughout the sky, providing a romantic scene for a picture perfect moment. The light exposure was just right for the moment. Orangey backdrop, with three bridesmaids in hot red, three white donned groomsmen, flanking the happily married couple. Doubt nothing could come close to this exquisite moment captured.
...
I was running up and down, handing tissues to wipe away sweat that was caking the bride's makeup. That and also fanning to keep her slightly cooled. Haha! The bouquet of flower I was holding was somewhat a handful. =P
...
Tea serving ceremony. The Chinese part of the wedding.
Wedded couple serve teas to their elders and receive gifts. While the younger ones were given ang paus. Typical Chinese tradition. Definitely something for those who did not know of the Chinese culture, to know of. I could hear my uncle explaining to the groom's family on what it actually was. I was busy keeping track of the tea servings.
Dinner time! Awwh worthy! We have the groomsmen speaking about the groom and the bridesmaid talking about the bride. My sister was wearing a custom made cheongsam. It wasnt to say that we get to wear cheongsam as often in these recent days, I took the opportunity to wear mine too. =P and of course there were a lot of drinking. My sister shocked me. And probably everyone else too. The couple were given a cupful of a mixture of every alcohol available that night. My sister downed it in one go. In. One. Go. Could see that the groom was struggling a little though. Haha! But my sis was still standing. Learned from her, that drinking water after alcohol would somehow dilute the tipsy effect. =D
The boys got all drunk. My brother was the joker of the night. He was even happier than the groom. Hahaha! Which was quite cool. I never really thought of how drunkards would really behave up til that night. They were all happy! Which brought us much laughter. They were so happily drunk that they went and jump into the pool. It was only an initial plan of dunking the groom. But boy they were happy men, everyone went in except two of them. But the funniest would have to be my brother. Havent seen him in such state ever in my life! =P I'm still laughing at it today. =)
Wedding is over, and now my sister is Mrs. Hunter.
Thank you for trusting me into being your maid of honour. Maid of honour. Sounds like a slave job suddenly. But it was still an honour. =') thank you!
And I had fun, being dolled up and being pretty for that day. Being a part of such a meaningful event. Wah! Touching! =D
Gotta come home for my brother's wedding! Woots!
Ps. My brother and my sister are actually my cousins, been living with them since forever, it felt easier for me to just call them sister and brother without the extra cousin in front. =)
11.45pm, 10th Jan 2012.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
melbourne, monash it is.
not much i would have to say about it. i had probably nagged on an on about this matter that it gets tiring to even repeat. no doubt i still question if it's the right decision made, but i would just go ahead with my decision. for time is running out. i have only a month left to settle the rest. fingers crossed my visa would be settled by then. and the flight itself is raising by the day. it was only last week that i checked, and it has already increased to about rm500. heh. more delayings and i would probably have to pay more than i should in the first place.
my mom came home and i did more discussions with her, mostly it was regarding the money problem. like i have mentioned before, she said the exact same thing, 'your expenses, you would have to earn on your own already'. no arguements that, it was alraedy expected. but it worries me on how much i can actually earn and save and also spend whilst i am there. things that i have never done before, it would probably be hard for me to predict how much am i supposed to spend in a month. college had thought me to spend considerably though, and i am hoping it would help when i'm there in aussie. difference would be that i would not have to pay for the car petrol and the tolls anymore, as driving around there would be impossible. but this would be replaced with me paying for my accomodation. i have heard of friends mentioning about staying in hostels and all, i myself have yet to experience, and this would definitely be my first time. hrmm. definitely something to look out for.
as the agent has said, that opting for on-campus accomodation would be unlikely now as there are many others who chose the same option. but i will still try to get one. and if it fails, at least i still have my sister for this one. just this one i hope. i would probably hop into her place for a week or two until i get a proper place to stay on my own. still preferably on-campus accomodation would be better. then i need not depend on my sister. staying in aussie can be quite pricey. but i guess i have no choice. and this all comes back to the money issue, which then brings me to...
another back up plan of mine.
i would still be studying in monash for the whole year. maybe as a try out year, except that i have to do my best. for if my mom really could not afford to support me for my two remaining years, i still have the chance to transfer my credits over to tasmanian university. cost there is almost HALF of monash. provided i have to do well, that my credits would be sufficient enough to be transferred over. this, would be a back up plan, if i really can't find a way to stay the the whole 3 years there in melbourne. though there could be an issue that monash might not allow me to transfer my credits over. as for this, i guess i would have to push myself to work and get a better pay and save even more to push through the remaining two years. mmhmm. it is set.
i may sound like i have no clue what i am headed for. maybe to you, the part where i said i would push myself might give you some doubts, don't worry, cause i am in doubt as well. honestly, this is all i have to cling onto to push myself to face whatever brings. yeap. besides, when there is a will, there will be a way. especially when i'm alone, i'm pretty sure i would do whatever it takes to keep myself steady.
as of now, i am mentally prepared to be there on my own.
it is about time that i learn something. =)
been pulled back for the past few days. i could've settled everything before my sister's wedding, but i needed to be sure i got my mom into the same page as i did before confirming. thus the time now is probably... too short for comfort. i still have yet to hand in my visa application and my offer letter. this, i will get it done by tomorrow, if not by friday. all i need is the money. lol. yeah. money.
what's left after that is just my health check and my flight to aussie.
mmhmm. i'm on the right track.
i believe i am.
*fingers crossed*
not much i would have to say about it. i had probably nagged on an on about this matter that it gets tiring to even repeat. no doubt i still question if it's the right decision made, but i would just go ahead with my decision. for time is running out. i have only a month left to settle the rest. fingers crossed my visa would be settled by then. and the flight itself is raising by the day. it was only last week that i checked, and it has already increased to about rm500. heh. more delayings and i would probably have to pay more than i should in the first place.
my mom came home and i did more discussions with her, mostly it was regarding the money problem. like i have mentioned before, she said the exact same thing, 'your expenses, you would have to earn on your own already'. no arguements that, it was alraedy expected. but it worries me on how much i can actually earn and save and also spend whilst i am there. things that i have never done before, it would probably be hard for me to predict how much am i supposed to spend in a month. college had thought me to spend considerably though, and i am hoping it would help when i'm there in aussie. difference would be that i would not have to pay for the car petrol and the tolls anymore, as driving around there would be impossible. but this would be replaced with me paying for my accomodation. i have heard of friends mentioning about staying in hostels and all, i myself have yet to experience, and this would definitely be my first time. hrmm. definitely something to look out for.
as the agent has said, that opting for on-campus accomodation would be unlikely now as there are many others who chose the same option. but i will still try to get one. and if it fails, at least i still have my sister for this one. just this one i hope. i would probably hop into her place for a week or two until i get a proper place to stay on my own. still preferably on-campus accomodation would be better. then i need not depend on my sister. staying in aussie can be quite pricey. but i guess i have no choice. and this all comes back to the money issue, which then brings me to...
another back up plan of mine.
i would still be studying in monash for the whole year. maybe as a try out year, except that i have to do my best. for if my mom really could not afford to support me for my two remaining years, i still have the chance to transfer my credits over to tasmanian university. cost there is almost HALF of monash. provided i have to do well, that my credits would be sufficient enough to be transferred over. this, would be a back up plan, if i really can't find a way to stay the the whole 3 years there in melbourne. though there could be an issue that monash might not allow me to transfer my credits over. as for this, i guess i would have to push myself to work and get a better pay and save even more to push through the remaining two years. mmhmm. it is set.
i may sound like i have no clue what i am headed for. maybe to you, the part where i said i would push myself might give you some doubts, don't worry, cause i am in doubt as well. honestly, this is all i have to cling onto to push myself to face whatever brings. yeap. besides, when there is a will, there will be a way. especially when i'm alone, i'm pretty sure i would do whatever it takes to keep myself steady.
as of now, i am mentally prepared to be there on my own.
it is about time that i learn something. =)
been pulled back for the past few days. i could've settled everything before my sister's wedding, but i needed to be sure i got my mom into the same page as i did before confirming. thus the time now is probably... too short for comfort. i still have yet to hand in my visa application and my offer letter. this, i will get it done by tomorrow, if not by friday. all i need is the money. lol. yeah. money.
what's left after that is just my health check and my flight to aussie.
mmhmm. i'm on the right track.
i believe i am.
*fingers crossed*
It is like an anchor. You still have the freedom to move, but it is only limited. That restricted feeling is still there. We try to break free from it, but as much effort as we try to break free, the effort would seem worthless. Anchors are built in a way to resist external forces from cranking it away from what it was supposed to hold. So if minimal strength is used, it would definitely be useless, yes? But there is one faulty point. Anchors will rust. For in general, we know anchors are made of pure metal, in order for it to be really heavy to hold that much of a resistance. And we all know metals will rust. When they do, the anchor will slowly decay and it would be really vulnerable. And if no reinforcement is to be done to the anchor, it will just lay there and be a part of the background.
I have no clue where am I headed here. LOL!
Lets just leave this as it is. =)
I have no clue where am I headed here. LOL!
Lets just leave this as it is. =)
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