Lol! After that last note, I cried. Not bad. Damn my denial self! I keep doing that. =/ I kept denying that I'm not okay, and then I end up torturing myself much more than I normally would, when all I needed was to cryyyy. Well, crying isnt easy for me. Though my mummy tells me that I'm a cry baby. Well, I'd personally like yo believe that I am some super strong person and am denial of whatever people tell of my negative sides. :P
After a short session of tears, I am now on my way to the city. Despite how the shops should be closing by now, I still figured that it would be a feat for me to travel to the city on my own today. Hehe. I had this plan of going down to the city today, but I just didnt have the courage to. Thus I was procrastinating and fumbling around, thinking I wouldnt be able to get out of the house again. As mentioned earlier, it was only a matter of self realisation that I am in fact feeling homesick.
A tendency to be in denial and refusal of believing or accepting the fact of which things were happening. Sometimes things were happening too fast that it would really take me forever to accept change. Stepping my foot into aussie is a huge step. Nothing that I would have realised up til now. Even when they threw me the farewell party, it took me forever to digest what was happening. As for when they sent me off at the airport, I didnt want to believe that I had to leave everything behind and that I had to start anew all on my own.
I didnt even post anything about my first day here in Melbourne. Nor did u took any pictures of anything when everybody kept telling me to take pretty pictures to be shared with everyone back at home. Nope. I was in denial. A very strong one indeed.
Literally beating myself up with such behaviours. But I couldnt help it.
Flinder's street. :)
Hosier's lane
Hanguk sarami eyo?
*ani, naneun malaysia saramimnida!*
If only I said that, I would probably be some badass foreigner. :D
Too bad. I'll do that next time. ;)
Hrmm. Walking alone can be a little lonely at times. But I guess I have to learn how to get used to this sort of things from now on. With the constant fear of getting lost, it got my mind pretty occupied with where I was supposed to go. Or even to enjoy what there is right in front of me. :X hehe. It's quite cool though, sometimes, cause you dont have to worry about anybody else, and you could take your own time with whatever you want to do. :D
Right now, I'm chilling at some cafe, indulging myself with chocolate. Probably end up with a chocolate overdose someday. D= the chocolate here is just that irresistible. Think I was gonna save with food even when I'm here I'm aussie? Nope. Food is my life, not a single bit would I ever give into food. Unless of course my purse is empty and that my account is dry. :O nono, that is unlikely. I would save in every way that I can and spend them on food. Just like how I did back in college. :)
Owh finally one happy post after my arrival in Melbourne!! :D
I feel so proud of myself. =')
Walking down the streets if Melbourne city, am ever so tempted to drop into one of those shops just to shop for things. Clothing, shoes, food, everything!! But then to think that I come from Malaysia, everything here would be really costly for me. Hence, the necessary to think and to spend cautiously. Likewise, food would also have to be cut down in a way. Such a heartbreak. <\3 maybe my mind would change once I start with my uni life. Right now, I am only spending on what I really need, which is food. :F
Just met up with my friend from Malaysia. She had just arrived today. Was initially thinking of being ultimately selfish for being lazy to meet up with her, but I was killing myself with homesick depression. A meet up like that was definitely a good one. It had helped brighten my mood by a lot. And also not to forget, having a proper meal to fill up my tummy. Honestly saying, if I were to be at home alone, I would probably just ignore everything and just stone in bed. :D
This post sounds more like an awesome first day in aussie post, ain't it? Hehe. Seriously never thought I would be a victim of homesick depression. :P
Now that I knowwww, I guess I should be alright from now on. :)
Australiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! :D
Friday, February 10, 2012
Hullo!
It's my second day here in Melbourne. It's rather chilly and it would take me some time to get used to the weather here. Wasnt expecting the weather to be that extreme, seemingly the temperature fluctuates pretty drastically. For one day it could be rather chilly and the other might not be as chilly. However to me, chilly is chilly. Obviously I havent gotten used to the weather here just yet. Am pretty sure it will get chillier than this until which peaks at about July or so. Then, would be winter. I have no idea how I would be surviving that though. Haha.
Right now, I should be exploring the area like an excited kid. But nope, I couldn't find the courage to step out of the door on my own for now. I guess it is cause I am too used to going places with at leas a company. And I would only go alone to familiar places. But not at this moment. At least not yet. Just not yet.
I try not to let the fact that I am homesick, but it never fails to creep in somehow or rather. Fact that my mom has been calling me more often than how she usually did, it makes me feel even more upset than I already am. Telling me to take care of myself, telling me to do things that I would normally do if I were not in this state of mind. It reminded me that I am actually feeling homesick when I know I shouldnt be.
Another factor to me having homesick is the fact that I am at a different timezone than everyone back at home. I would normally stay awake until everybody had gone to sleep before I would be satisfied and then it'll be my turn to head to bed. Three hours ahead of everyone else, makes me feel like I am three hours short from everything else as compared to everyone there. By midnight there, it'll be 3am here already.
I refuse to believe that I am homesick, but I cant help it. I couldn't cry. I didnt want to. I miss how I had everyone around me. I miss how I could speak rubbish language and people would still understand me. I miss how I didnt have to worry that people wouldnt understand me when I speak with my comfortable tongue. I miss how I was the friendliest back at home when everyone here is so friendly that I feel like I'm some rude bitch. I miss my bed, where I could sprawl around and blast my music out loud during the day. I miss those big malls we had and that everywhere was nearer than what it is now. I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss you.
T.T
It's my second day here in Melbourne. It's rather chilly and it would take me some time to get used to the weather here. Wasnt expecting the weather to be that extreme, seemingly the temperature fluctuates pretty drastically. For one day it could be rather chilly and the other might not be as chilly. However to me, chilly is chilly. Obviously I havent gotten used to the weather here just yet. Am pretty sure it will get chillier than this until which peaks at about July or so. Then, would be winter. I have no idea how I would be surviving that though. Haha.
Right now, I should be exploring the area like an excited kid. But nope, I couldn't find the courage to step out of the door on my own for now. I guess it is cause I am too used to going places with at leas a company. And I would only go alone to familiar places. But not at this moment. At least not yet. Just not yet.
I try not to let the fact that I am homesick, but it never fails to creep in somehow or rather. Fact that my mom has been calling me more often than how she usually did, it makes me feel even more upset than I already am. Telling me to take care of myself, telling me to do things that I would normally do if I were not in this state of mind. It reminded me that I am actually feeling homesick when I know I shouldnt be.
Another factor to me having homesick is the fact that I am at a different timezone than everyone back at home. I would normally stay awake until everybody had gone to sleep before I would be satisfied and then it'll be my turn to head to bed. Three hours ahead of everyone else, makes me feel like I am three hours short from everything else as compared to everyone there. By midnight there, it'll be 3am here already.
I refuse to believe that I am homesick, but I cant help it. I couldn't cry. I didnt want to. I miss how I had everyone around me. I miss how I could speak rubbish language and people would still understand me. I miss how I didnt have to worry that people wouldnt understand me when I speak with my comfortable tongue. I miss how I was the friendliest back at home when everyone here is so friendly that I feel like I'm some rude bitch. I miss my bed, where I could sprawl around and blast my music out loud during the day. I miss those big malls we had and that everywhere was nearer than what it is now. I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss you.
T.T
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Jian Arn
Longest ah? Nah. Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Not long enough. Hrmmm.
The guy who never fails to fly his car whenever he is given the chance to. No idea how his myvi would actually stand the speed at which he travels. Funny how it seems wreckless on the outside, but feeling safe in the car when he drives. Hrmm.
Eyh. Not bad! We got closer somehow. Yeayyyyy! First time we met, ausmat orientation. First impression: another lala kid. :P with that hair of yours, I really couldn't help but to think you are one. Now that I know you, thank goodness you are not as lala as I thought you were. That trip to bukit tinggi. I still don't know why or what it was that got me wanting to go. But I did! Haha! Quite cool. Got to bond with you, Brandon, and Kevin for abit before I leave. :) thank you! For driving around when the others aren't willing to, thank you for always being on time despite knowing how others will be late, thank you for coming to the events I planned, thank you for being an awesome friend. :D your whatsapp confirm will kena spam by me one, don't worry. :D take care! You better come Melb next year!! :DD you can cry now. :P <3
P/s. I am not as innocent as you think I am. I curse like mad whenever I am alone. :D you all la. Curse like nobody's business. Everyday hang out with ya'll somemore. Don't curse also abit hard ah. :P
Brandon
Hahahahaha! I only knew you as the planner for that group of friend. Then, I wasn't a part of the 'group' yet. Not sure how I got to know you better, but we did. :D was it because of meatballs or what? Can't really remember. What I remember is that ever since epic meal time came to play, it got me going around to your place quite often. Hahahahaha! Never knew you were the listening kind until we started talking about that matter that was bothering the crap out of me. It was then that I knew I could throw my problems into your face and you would listen patiently. I like the part when you respond intellectually. Something we don't see everyday. :) oh! I remember you trolled me by pulling my wipers up and pushing my side mirrors in when that parking was still there in front of college! Got me panicking for abit. LMAO! Thank you boss! For your patience! For driving people around! For organising random events! For being an awesome friend! Come visit me, yah? :D take care! <3
Kevin
Another one ah? I wrote one for you two days ago di eh. Meyh. Nevermind. Another one will do. Copy paste and save this somewhere okay? Reminder that you were the first to send me sentimental message via facebook when you wouldn't normally do. ;) other than that colourful mouth of yours, not bad la. I remember complaining about you when we had to do assignments together. Wah. Lazy until, can beat the crap out of you one. Lucky that time not that close yet, if not I scream at you already. :P uni starting already lo. Study properly please? Stop mia-ing for classes laaaaa. Money paid already, study while you have the chance to study. Not everybody got chance one you know? Then right, you want to come melb to study also have to have steady results for your first year. Which also means I'm indirectly telling you to study properly so you can come to Melb and study here also. :) I will be waiting! :D thank you for listening to me when I was down, thank you for being there for me when I needed someone. Please stop making other people drive when you can drive. It isnt fair for others who have cars too. :P then right, don't drive like a dumbtard. Got limit one okay?! ;) take care, boss! <3
Sean
The other one of the unsung heroes that got me into writing again. Couldn't stand it that ya'll were talking about writing and it got me wanting to write again. Look now, I'm writing almost everyday. Especially now that I have some canggih phone where I can write away whenever I have free time. You epic fella. I seriously respect that you have such high dreams and hopes to chase after. Some would probably say, 'ah, thats ridiculously hard to achieve screw it.' but no, you are determined. Which also got me inspired. :D fact that I got to be a model for a day last year, told me that dreams do come true. Fact now that I am even flying to aussie to study my dream course. See! Dreams do come true! Yeayyyyy! You, have to be strong, okay? Hold on to that epic dream of yours, I'd like to see you soar. And I will remember everything that you told me. Nehehehehe. :P thank you for being an awesome buddy! Psycho class would not have been the same without you! Three times a week, that same old spot that we sit at. :D and you manage to be really patient with me throughout the whole year, thank you so much for that! please do find me when you're in doubt, I'll make sure you'll be motivated to reach those dreams of yours. :) take care!! Drive safe, seriously. :O it gets kinda worrying ya know? :/ <3
Sadoon
I don't want to spoil the fun. But I have already written a thank you note right at the back of your journal. :) I read your letter too. Hahahahaha! I was pleasantly surprised to see a foreigner studying the same course as us. Lmao! Got me thinking, ooh! Must be friends! :D and ta-da! Look what we've got today? ;D I have no idea how you managed to tolerate my annoyance everyday and also my good for nothing problems from time to time too. Shyitt! Thanks to you, I started to game. Hahahahaha! Ya'll even took a video of me gaming when I thought you were off. >=( modern warfare, counter strike, dota, tf2. :D I especially like when we play tf2 online!! Best part is when we were on opposing teams, it would get me overly excited when I manage to kill you. :D Hahahahaha!! Great way to release the inner sadistic person that I am. Hoho. Damn. I miss playing like that. =/ thank you everything sadoon!! Thank you for the Arabic food too! Still loving the stuffed onions. :F thank you for being patient with me for all this while. Thank youuuuuuu!!!! <3
Natasha
The first to cry when I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. Sighh. You made me cryyyy! ='( good ah. If not I cry alone in the plane like some crazy person only. Hahahahaha! Heart pain weiyh see you cry like that. ='/ don't cry already okay? Everything is alright. Just the way it should be. I already sent you one letter, but apparently somebody gave me an assignment to do once I reached aussie, to write a thank you message to everybody, with different messages and different content each. And also to spam fb homepage with wishes. Tsk. Cannot imagine if amerlyn, yunelyn and Regina were to be there also, confirm make everybody cry also. =O thank you for crying! I finally got to cry freely. =P take care okay? <3
Rachel
Tsk! So emotional ah you. I remember supsershow, kangin's part, you cry until you seriously cry, I got scared. Hahahahaha! Yeayyyyy! I got my first letter from you. :D thank you very ze muchie! <3 my heart crying when I read that. Too bad cannot cry properly cause I was seated in between two other people, later they think I bin tai suddenly cry out of nowhere. :P huwaaa. Rachel now gotten brave already eh. That day you unexpectedly sang 'the boys' with me. Last time sure shy away and let me sing alone one. But then again. I am proud of you! Time to do some solo performance already! Go snatch the mic next time and sing likeaboss. :D take care!!! <3
Nicole
The one who didn't want to let me go when hugging. ='/ honey, I'm having it as bad as you are. My darling daughter. ='/ it's alright, everything is alright. :) funny how I just had that instinct of making you my friend. Thank goodness I did what I was supposed to do, and here I got myself an awesome friend. =') though we may only knew each other for approximately one year, those were moments best treasured. From that trip to kl, to that play where we saw you prancing around the stage, singing a phrase of 'how do you know she loves you, how do you know she's yours'. I feel like a proud mummy! XD and the best part is that you were always there looking out for me, making sure that I study, and that I didnt give up on my studies. Entertaining me when I tell you I wanted to die or I wanted to kill people, and then talking to me until those thoughts were thrown away. Kidnapping you places with me. :F eating food at random times. Haha! Epic! Be strong okay? Will see you when I come back. Take care! <3
Yune-Lyn
Didnt get to see you, didnt get to talk to you. Sigh. When I get a new phone, I call you first, okay? Orrrr, you inpatient then come Skype find me. =) Also, I have already said what I wanted to say earlier, so I guess to make this post a part of the spamming, I shall write more. :D you retarded child. Dunno laugh at what one. You forever laughing one lo. To a point where we end up laughing cause you looked funny when you were laughing, seemingly for no reason. =P eat also eat slower than a snail crawling one. But this one forgivable, if not everybody will hawk stare cause if you not there, I would be the slowest already. =P Hahahahaha!! Love how you're still a ballerina. You have no idea how much I admire ballerinas. And then that bersih rally took away my first chance of watching a ballet performance. Best part? You were the lead somemore. =( emo like shyitt lo. Hrmph. Faster go get Skype please! And take care of those knees. ='/ thank you for being awesome! My future bridesmaid! That is even if I can find boyfriend... Hrmm. Find me ah. :D <3
George
Yes! I still got the privilege right? Tze Sik. This one you confirm cannot delete one. Hohoho. Sorry boss. I just like your Chinese name. :D haha! I like how you are up for any outing we could possibly think of. Sitting there while studying, and then the sudden thought of going to one place, and off we go. Best part, you get to drive me instead!! Yeay! Hahahahaha! I am missing my sunny now. =( thank you though! I have a friend who I can hang with if I do stay back in college when I am studying til late. Both you and leanne. =') go clubbing also you bring one. Hahahahaha! Mission accomplish, ey? Quite sad I didnt get to see you before I left. But you, will be coming here, and I will continue whacking the crap out of you. :D thank you for all those loud unnecessary noises you make. Your presence will immediately make yunelyn laugh like some siao ja bo even when it isnt funny. :P haha! I'll see you around, okay? Til then, stay awesome, yah? I'm expecting to meet the same George again when the time comes. =)
Leanne
Haha! Why you so cute one? :) see me at the airport only then dun wan to let me go already. Heart pain ahhhh. I remember how I was so hungry one day, that you happened to cook fir George, I main whack and eat up half of it. =P got carrot, got super soft rice but not porridge, got tender chicken somemore, and broccoli! Or was it cauliflower? Next time I wan cook, I find you to teach me okay? :D Also remembered how we always sneak you our at night to grab dinner after we were done studying. Hehehe. Thank goodness I got to see you before I go!! =') thank you for coming!! Thank you for everything!!! Thank you for being awesome!! Come melb find me okay? :) <3
May Ee
Whose idea is it ah? Wahlao. Taking me forever to finish weiyh. Then wanna post somemore. Must be fast and spam the homepage with a streak somemore. Deng. No no, not troublesome one. =P no no, your virus not contagious one. =P seriously quite epic lo. Maybe cause everybody started using it and somehow it is easy to use, and there you have it, may ee disease. No no, you not awesome enough one. Hahahahaha! Woi! I help you carry your bag while cycling okay? Only remember me passing your bottle to you ah? Tsk. Terrible. :D haha! I quite jealous of your circle of friends lo. So close until, impenetrable one. One say don't go, everybody follow dont go. -.- joker! But anyhow, it was great knowing you. Definitely learned alot from you lo honestly. :) thank you very much, may ee! Thank youuuu!! Take care okay? :) <3
Sue
Sue Hor Sue Xian. Pronounced as sien and not sian or siennn(bored). I do not recall hugging you. Did you purposely not hug me? :O or I too emotional until I forgotten? Haha! Thank you for being a friend to natasha. :) lol! I am not sure why I said that, but I did. Hehe. I like how you have the camera and you work it like a pro! :D its not everyday that we see a female professional photographer. :) annnnnddd. You damn cute lah. You keep misplace things around, and forget if you have locked or not. :P actually, I have left my sunny unlocked for a few times already. Hahahahaha! Shhhh! But lucky nothing happened. Next time lock before you walk away. :D thank you for sending me off at the airport! It was great knowing you. Thank you for everything!! Hopefully I'll see you again sometime in the future! :) <3
Alvena
Psycho classmate. This one forever sitting behind with huiwen and xinyi one. Then every class also can see miss Jane get frustrated when you all answer the questions. Make the class enjoyable only. :D go new Zealand ah? Can one la. Didnt expect you to be that strong lo honestly, but yeap, now that I know you better, it seems convincing that you will be alright. :) free then come find me in melb ah! Or I come over to nz then you bring me go tour. :D thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? Will be stalking you now and then too see what wisdom and strenghty words or quotes you have. ;D take care!! :) <3
Jason yim
Yim Fong Yew! :D another one with nice Chinese name. :D haha! Thank you for following me when I was sending nicole back that day. Honestly, you worried I'd get her injured only right? Tsk! Haha! Thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? I still havent get to see your slick 'i-forgot-what-its-called' dance yet. =( ah yes. Keep it up with your music. :D become pro and become famous okay? :D ;) thank you for being awesome! You damn cool lah. Only seen you blur and cool. Like got no other expression one. =P take care okay? Stay awesome! Thank youuuu!!! <3
Yvonne
Hoi! This year you solo celebrate bday liao! Hehe. Take all the limelight you want, I'll be watching from far. :) 5years friendship and counting, every year also we celebrate together somehow, either that or I have to celebrate my bday earlier so it wouldnt clash with yours. Hehe. :) thank you for all those years of friendship. Though we may not be best of friends, we would still find time and hang out whenever we can. Those moments I really do treasure. Best of all, we could always relate to one another because we have same bdays. An excuse sometimes, but at least we were in sync! :D not easy finding others who have same bday with us okay? Though I knew a dozen others, but you were the closest. :') thank you for everything! Sorry this year you'll have to celebrate on your own. Stay awesome alright? We go for gongcha when I get back. ;D <3
Luke
The philosophy dude. Never knew it could get that serious. Good thing I was there to witness the golden moments before I left. :D Hahahahaha!! Your true self somehow punctured through reality and all those shrouds around you. ;D super determined, I like! Keep it up! Otherwise you wont be able to see Jeremy's shadow again. :P Hahahahaha! It was great to know you! Had so much fun with you guys. Meeples especially. And also them meatballs. =') stay awesome okay? I'll see yoy around. Thank you for everything! <3
Marcus
Pow pow chiki chiki boom boom pak. Omg. I remembered it. HAHAHAHAHA!! Why you so cute when you drunk?! XDDD and yes! I got to see it for myself before I left. :P haha! I like how the whatsapp group is like super random, anything also can talk one. :D haha! Good luck with you opt... What is the name of your course again? @@ something to do with eyes one. Hrmm. Still!! Best of luck! I shall come home and see your random acts again. More meeples please!!! :D take care! Thanks for coming!!! And thanks for everything!! <3
Jeremy
Forever mia one you. Dunno busy with what, miss out on all the fun only. Tsk! Whyyyyy Jeremy, whyyyyyy? Lucky you came for my farewell, if not you sure kena slaughtered one. :D got time, please do meet up with them, okay? I'd like to come home and see the bond between you guys still strong. =') thank you Jeremy! For everything! For being th chauffeur everytime there is an outing! Stay awesome okay? ;) <3
Gareth
You emo like shit. See you emo, I also enter emo. -.- whyyyyyyyyy?! Dont be so emo please. Andd. Get going with your uni. Got chance to study, go study. Don't waste it. This time right, study properly. ;D you'll be fine. Dont be so harsh on yourself, okay? =) thank you for everything! I've thanked you before, so, yeah. =P take care! <3
Wei Qi
Boss! Sudah pergi jauhjauh belajar ah? You also another ffk fella. Say want to go, but end up busy somewhere, then cannot come di. =( but at least you tried, so I guess it was okay. ;) take care okay? :D next time outing you plan ah! This one you cannot run away di. Nehehehehe. ;D thank you for everything!!!!!! <3
Adrian
Boss!! :D the one who never comes to my outings. What is this?! It's okay, I come disturb you everyday on Skype, twitter and steam. Hahahahaha!! No where you can run already. =P thank you boss! For everything. =) too bad I dont get to kacau you for the last time before I go. I annoying right? Wahahahahah. Padan muka for not coming. =P take care okay, boss? ;) <3
Alex
Chuuuuuuuuuuu. Reminds me pikachu whenever I call your name. :D nicelah. Alex chu, pikachu, your new nickname la boss! ;D you and your superb parking skills. How many times you kena saman already ah? :P lucky you drive not as scary as some people. Or maybe cause I havent sit long distance in your car before. Eeeee. Is that box of chocolate still I your car?! @@ Anyhoo. Take care! It was great knowing you! :D stay awesome kay, boss? ;D <3
Charis
The cheerleader. :D blitzers attack! Super chirpy one. Never once I see you being super emo and dead. A true cheerleader indeed. =) everytime say wan to go somewhere but everytime cannot go cause transport problem or parents dont let. Hehe. =P go join rebels or charm la! But rebels is better from what I heard. ;) live it up with that perky attitude of yours okay? ;D thank you for everything!! <3
Shermaine
Actually that day already sent you thank you message on fb, but what the crap. =P teacher's pet ah you!! Don't like! Everytime do something also teacher sure call you first. Then everytime say never finish homework one. Hahahaha! Ended up I din get to see tu before I go also. Emo lo! =( tskkkk. Dowan friend you! =(((( haha! Take care okay? Will see you sometime in the future or something. ;) <3
Haojia
Should have arrived by now already de lo. Adelaide weiyh. Sounds like a dead state to me. =X haha! Every outing also you will come one, somemore stay uper far, dont know how you find the determination to come up to sunway for all those events also. Petrol made from water weiyh! Not pain one meyh? I from puchong also pain di, you from klang. Omg. Haha! Anyhoo. Thank you for everything! :D somemore you super patient one. People all come late, can see you don't like, but you don't complain one lo. :) then sometimes also you organise trips. Yeap! Thank you!! :D take care!! ;D <3
Hui Wen
Birthday today! Oih? You older than me eh. Yeayyyyy!!!! :P happy birthday!!! Haha! My psycho classmate. =) quite psycho also one. Gets super happy when she gets to answer the question correctly, not correct then negotiate with miss Jane. =P psycho class was fun, wasnt it? :D thank you for everything!! :D wishing you all the best in the things you do! Hope to see you soon? ;) <3
Ritsz
Was initially thinking of going tasmania too, but monash was the better offer. =/ it's alright, you can come pop by Melbourne for a visit before going over to Tassie! :D or I can go Tassie to find you! Yeayyyyy!! Can la. Onsss!! :D take care hun! I'll see you around! ;D <3
Wai Yih
Deng. I dont really know you lah. Only know I went to your math class and then I sit behind you guys only. HAHAHAHAHA! Oops. How ah boss? =P going Sarawak, kan? Take care okay? :D will see you when I see you. ;D <3
Edmund
Teong ah? Tsang Whon. Or Won. Like Korean name only. Spit coffee into my face somemore!! Hahahahaha!! :D months right? :) take care okay? Thank you for your coffee spray. It was much joy. XD take careeeeee!!!!! <3
Cheryl
Hullo!! So sad couldnt see you before I go. =( you take care okay? You're strong enough to get through this. =) got problem go find brandon! He confirm will hear you out and support you one. If you need a girly moment, come find me also can! ;) be strong, okay? <3
Longest ah? Nah. Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Not long enough. Hrmmm.
The guy who never fails to fly his car whenever he is given the chance to. No idea how his myvi would actually stand the speed at which he travels. Funny how it seems wreckless on the outside, but feeling safe in the car when he drives. Hrmm.
Eyh. Not bad! We got closer somehow. Yeayyyyy! First time we met, ausmat orientation. First impression: another lala kid. :P with that hair of yours, I really couldn't help but to think you are one. Now that I know you, thank goodness you are not as lala as I thought you were. That trip to bukit tinggi. I still don't know why or what it was that got me wanting to go. But I did! Haha! Quite cool. Got to bond with you, Brandon, and Kevin for abit before I leave. :) thank you! For driving around when the others aren't willing to, thank you for always being on time despite knowing how others will be late, thank you for coming to the events I planned, thank you for being an awesome friend. :D your whatsapp confirm will kena spam by me one, don't worry. :D take care! You better come Melb next year!! :DD you can cry now. :P <3
P/s. I am not as innocent as you think I am. I curse like mad whenever I am alone. :D you all la. Curse like nobody's business. Everyday hang out with ya'll somemore. Don't curse also abit hard ah. :P
Brandon
Hahahahaha! I only knew you as the planner for that group of friend. Then, I wasn't a part of the 'group' yet. Not sure how I got to know you better, but we did. :D was it because of meatballs or what? Can't really remember. What I remember is that ever since epic meal time came to play, it got me going around to your place quite often. Hahahahaha! Never knew you were the listening kind until we started talking about that matter that was bothering the crap out of me. It was then that I knew I could throw my problems into your face and you would listen patiently. I like the part when you respond intellectually. Something we don't see everyday. :) oh! I remember you trolled me by pulling my wipers up and pushing my side mirrors in when that parking was still there in front of college! Got me panicking for abit. LMAO! Thank you boss! For your patience! For driving people around! For organising random events! For being an awesome friend! Come visit me, yah? :D take care! <3
Kevin
Another one ah? I wrote one for you two days ago di eh. Meyh. Nevermind. Another one will do. Copy paste and save this somewhere okay? Reminder that you were the first to send me sentimental message via facebook when you wouldn't normally do. ;) other than that colourful mouth of yours, not bad la. I remember complaining about you when we had to do assignments together. Wah. Lazy until, can beat the crap out of you one. Lucky that time not that close yet, if not I scream at you already. :P uni starting already lo. Study properly please? Stop mia-ing for classes laaaaa. Money paid already, study while you have the chance to study. Not everybody got chance one you know? Then right, you want to come melb to study also have to have steady results for your first year. Which also means I'm indirectly telling you to study properly so you can come to Melb and study here also. :) I will be waiting! :D thank you for listening to me when I was down, thank you for being there for me when I needed someone. Please stop making other people drive when you can drive. It isnt fair for others who have cars too. :P then right, don't drive like a dumbtard. Got limit one okay?! ;) take care, boss! <3
Sean
The other one of the unsung heroes that got me into writing again. Couldn't stand it that ya'll were talking about writing and it got me wanting to write again. Look now, I'm writing almost everyday. Especially now that I have some canggih phone where I can write away whenever I have free time. You epic fella. I seriously respect that you have such high dreams and hopes to chase after. Some would probably say, 'ah, thats ridiculously hard to achieve screw it.' but no, you are determined. Which also got me inspired. :D fact that I got to be a model for a day last year, told me that dreams do come true. Fact now that I am even flying to aussie to study my dream course. See! Dreams do come true! Yeayyyyy! You, have to be strong, okay? Hold on to that epic dream of yours, I'd like to see you soar. And I will remember everything that you told me. Nehehehehe. :P thank you for being an awesome buddy! Psycho class would not have been the same without you! Three times a week, that same old spot that we sit at. :D and you manage to be really patient with me throughout the whole year, thank you so much for that! please do find me when you're in doubt, I'll make sure you'll be motivated to reach those dreams of yours. :) take care!! Drive safe, seriously. :O it gets kinda worrying ya know? :/ <3
Sadoon
I don't want to spoil the fun. But I have already written a thank you note right at the back of your journal. :) I read your letter too. Hahahahaha! I was pleasantly surprised to see a foreigner studying the same course as us. Lmao! Got me thinking, ooh! Must be friends! :D and ta-da! Look what we've got today? ;D I have no idea how you managed to tolerate my annoyance everyday and also my good for nothing problems from time to time too. Shyitt! Thanks to you, I started to game. Hahahahaha! Ya'll even took a video of me gaming when I thought you were off. >=( modern warfare, counter strike, dota, tf2. :D I especially like when we play tf2 online!! Best part is when we were on opposing teams, it would get me overly excited when I manage to kill you. :D Hahahahaha!! Great way to release the inner sadistic person that I am. Hoho. Damn. I miss playing like that. =/ thank you everything sadoon!! Thank you for the Arabic food too! Still loving the stuffed onions. :F thank you for being patient with me for all this while. Thank youuuuuuu!!!! <3
Natasha
The first to cry when I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. Sighh. You made me cryyyy! ='( good ah. If not I cry alone in the plane like some crazy person only. Hahahahaha! Heart pain weiyh see you cry like that. ='/ don't cry already okay? Everything is alright. Just the way it should be. I already sent you one letter, but apparently somebody gave me an assignment to do once I reached aussie, to write a thank you message to everybody, with different messages and different content each. And also to spam fb homepage with wishes. Tsk. Cannot imagine if amerlyn, yunelyn and Regina were to be there also, confirm make everybody cry also. =O thank you for crying! I finally got to cry freely. =P take care okay? <3
Rachel
Tsk! So emotional ah you. I remember supsershow, kangin's part, you cry until you seriously cry, I got scared. Hahahahaha! Yeayyyyy! I got my first letter from you. :D thank you very ze muchie! <3 my heart crying when I read that. Too bad cannot cry properly cause I was seated in between two other people, later they think I bin tai suddenly cry out of nowhere. :P huwaaa. Rachel now gotten brave already eh. That day you unexpectedly sang 'the boys' with me. Last time sure shy away and let me sing alone one. But then again. I am proud of you! Time to do some solo performance already! Go snatch the mic next time and sing likeaboss. :D take care!!! <3
Nicole
The one who didn't want to let me go when hugging. ='/ honey, I'm having it as bad as you are. My darling daughter. ='/ it's alright, everything is alright. :) funny how I just had that instinct of making you my friend. Thank goodness I did what I was supposed to do, and here I got myself an awesome friend. =') though we may only knew each other for approximately one year, those were moments best treasured. From that trip to kl, to that play where we saw you prancing around the stage, singing a phrase of 'how do you know she loves you, how do you know she's yours'. I feel like a proud mummy! XD and the best part is that you were always there looking out for me, making sure that I study, and that I didnt give up on my studies. Entertaining me when I tell you I wanted to die or I wanted to kill people, and then talking to me until those thoughts were thrown away. Kidnapping you places with me. :F eating food at random times. Haha! Epic! Be strong okay? Will see you when I come back. Take care! <3
Yune-Lyn
Didnt get to see you, didnt get to talk to you. Sigh. When I get a new phone, I call you first, okay? Orrrr, you inpatient then come Skype find me. =) Also, I have already said what I wanted to say earlier, so I guess to make this post a part of the spamming, I shall write more. :D you retarded child. Dunno laugh at what one. You forever laughing one lo. To a point where we end up laughing cause you looked funny when you were laughing, seemingly for no reason. =P eat also eat slower than a snail crawling one. But this one forgivable, if not everybody will hawk stare cause if you not there, I would be the slowest already. =P Hahahahaha!! Love how you're still a ballerina. You have no idea how much I admire ballerinas. And then that bersih rally took away my first chance of watching a ballet performance. Best part? You were the lead somemore. =( emo like shyitt lo. Hrmph. Faster go get Skype please! And take care of those knees. ='/ thank you for being awesome! My future bridesmaid! That is even if I can find boyfriend... Hrmm. Find me ah. :D <3
George
Yes! I still got the privilege right? Tze Sik. This one you confirm cannot delete one. Hohoho. Sorry boss. I just like your Chinese name. :D haha! I like how you are up for any outing we could possibly think of. Sitting there while studying, and then the sudden thought of going to one place, and off we go. Best part, you get to drive me instead!! Yeay! Hahahahaha! I am missing my sunny now. =( thank you though! I have a friend who I can hang with if I do stay back in college when I am studying til late. Both you and leanne. =') go clubbing also you bring one. Hahahahaha! Mission accomplish, ey? Quite sad I didnt get to see you before I left. But you, will be coming here, and I will continue whacking the crap out of you. :D thank you for all those loud unnecessary noises you make. Your presence will immediately make yunelyn laugh like some siao ja bo even when it isnt funny. :P haha! I'll see you around, okay? Til then, stay awesome, yah? I'm expecting to meet the same George again when the time comes. =)
Leanne
Haha! Why you so cute one? :) see me at the airport only then dun wan to let me go already. Heart pain ahhhh. I remember how I was so hungry one day, that you happened to cook fir George, I main whack and eat up half of it. =P got carrot, got super soft rice but not porridge, got tender chicken somemore, and broccoli! Or was it cauliflower? Next time I wan cook, I find you to teach me okay? :D Also remembered how we always sneak you our at night to grab dinner after we were done studying. Hehehe. Thank goodness I got to see you before I go!! =') thank you for coming!! Thank you for everything!!! Thank you for being awesome!! Come melb find me okay? :) <3
May Ee
Whose idea is it ah? Wahlao. Taking me forever to finish weiyh. Then wanna post somemore. Must be fast and spam the homepage with a streak somemore. Deng. No no, not troublesome one. =P no no, your virus not contagious one. =P seriously quite epic lo. Maybe cause everybody started using it and somehow it is easy to use, and there you have it, may ee disease. No no, you not awesome enough one. Hahahahaha! Woi! I help you carry your bag while cycling okay? Only remember me passing your bottle to you ah? Tsk. Terrible. :D haha! I quite jealous of your circle of friends lo. So close until, impenetrable one. One say don't go, everybody follow dont go. -.- joker! But anyhow, it was great knowing you. Definitely learned alot from you lo honestly. :) thank you very much, may ee! Thank youuuu!! Take care okay? :) <3
Sue
Sue Hor Sue Xian. Pronounced as sien and not sian or siennn(bored). I do not recall hugging you. Did you purposely not hug me? :O or I too emotional until I forgotten? Haha! Thank you for being a friend to natasha. :) lol! I am not sure why I said that, but I did. Hehe. I like how you have the camera and you work it like a pro! :D its not everyday that we see a female professional photographer. :) annnnnddd. You damn cute lah. You keep misplace things around, and forget if you have locked or not. :P actually, I have left my sunny unlocked for a few times already. Hahahahaha! Shhhh! But lucky nothing happened. Next time lock before you walk away. :D thank you for sending me off at the airport! It was great knowing you. Thank you for everything!! Hopefully I'll see you again sometime in the future! :) <3
Alvena
Psycho classmate. This one forever sitting behind with huiwen and xinyi one. Then every class also can see miss Jane get frustrated when you all answer the questions. Make the class enjoyable only. :D go new Zealand ah? Can one la. Didnt expect you to be that strong lo honestly, but yeap, now that I know you better, it seems convincing that you will be alright. :) free then come find me in melb ah! Or I come over to nz then you bring me go tour. :D thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? Will be stalking you now and then too see what wisdom and strenghty words or quotes you have. ;D take care!! :) <3
Jason yim
Yim Fong Yew! :D another one with nice Chinese name. :D haha! Thank you for following me when I was sending nicole back that day. Honestly, you worried I'd get her injured only right? Tsk! Haha! Thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? I still havent get to see your slick 'i-forgot-what-its-called' dance yet. =( ah yes. Keep it up with your music. :D become pro and become famous okay? :D ;) thank you for being awesome! You damn cool lah. Only seen you blur and cool. Like got no other expression one. =P take care okay? Stay awesome! Thank youuuu!!! <3
Yvonne
Hoi! This year you solo celebrate bday liao! Hehe. Take all the limelight you want, I'll be watching from far. :) 5years friendship and counting, every year also we celebrate together somehow, either that or I have to celebrate my bday earlier so it wouldnt clash with yours. Hehe. :) thank you for all those years of friendship. Though we may not be best of friends, we would still find time and hang out whenever we can. Those moments I really do treasure. Best of all, we could always relate to one another because we have same bdays. An excuse sometimes, but at least we were in sync! :D not easy finding others who have same bday with us okay? Though I knew a dozen others, but you were the closest. :') thank you for everything! Sorry this year you'll have to celebrate on your own. Stay awesome alright? We go for gongcha when I get back. ;D <3
Luke
The philosophy dude. Never knew it could get that serious. Good thing I was there to witness the golden moments before I left. :D Hahahahaha!! Your true self somehow punctured through reality and all those shrouds around you. ;D super determined, I like! Keep it up! Otherwise you wont be able to see Jeremy's shadow again. :P Hahahahaha! It was great to know you! Had so much fun with you guys. Meeples especially. And also them meatballs. =') stay awesome okay? I'll see yoy around. Thank you for everything! <3
Marcus
Pow pow chiki chiki boom boom pak. Omg. I remembered it. HAHAHAHAHA!! Why you so cute when you drunk?! XDDD and yes! I got to see it for myself before I left. :P haha! I like how the whatsapp group is like super random, anything also can talk one. :D haha! Good luck with you opt... What is the name of your course again? @@ something to do with eyes one. Hrmm. Still!! Best of luck! I shall come home and see your random acts again. More meeples please!!! :D take care! Thanks for coming!!! And thanks for everything!! <3
Jeremy
Forever mia one you. Dunno busy with what, miss out on all the fun only. Tsk! Whyyyyy Jeremy, whyyyyyy? Lucky you came for my farewell, if not you sure kena slaughtered one. :D got time, please do meet up with them, okay? I'd like to come home and see the bond between you guys still strong. =') thank you Jeremy! For everything! For being th chauffeur everytime there is an outing! Stay awesome okay? ;) <3
Gareth
You emo like shit. See you emo, I also enter emo. -.- whyyyyyyyyy?! Dont be so emo please. Andd. Get going with your uni. Got chance to study, go study. Don't waste it. This time right, study properly. ;D you'll be fine. Dont be so harsh on yourself, okay? =) thank you for everything! I've thanked you before, so, yeah. =P take care! <3
Wei Qi
Boss! Sudah pergi jauhjauh belajar ah? You also another ffk fella. Say want to go, but end up busy somewhere, then cannot come di. =( but at least you tried, so I guess it was okay. ;) take care okay? :D next time outing you plan ah! This one you cannot run away di. Nehehehehe. ;D thank you for everything!!!!!! <3
Adrian
Boss!! :D the one who never comes to my outings. What is this?! It's okay, I come disturb you everyday on Skype, twitter and steam. Hahahahaha!! No where you can run already. =P thank you boss! For everything. =) too bad I dont get to kacau you for the last time before I go. I annoying right? Wahahahahah. Padan muka for not coming. =P take care okay, boss? ;) <3
Alex
Chuuuuuuuuuuu. Reminds me pikachu whenever I call your name. :D nicelah. Alex chu, pikachu, your new nickname la boss! ;D you and your superb parking skills. How many times you kena saman already ah? :P lucky you drive not as scary as some people. Or maybe cause I havent sit long distance in your car before. Eeeee. Is that box of chocolate still I your car?! @@ Anyhoo. Take care! It was great knowing you! :D stay awesome kay, boss? ;D <3
Charis
The cheerleader. :D blitzers attack! Super chirpy one. Never once I see you being super emo and dead. A true cheerleader indeed. =) everytime say wan to go somewhere but everytime cannot go cause transport problem or parents dont let. Hehe. =P go join rebels or charm la! But rebels is better from what I heard. ;) live it up with that perky attitude of yours okay? ;D thank you for everything!! <3
Shermaine
Actually that day already sent you thank you message on fb, but what the crap. =P teacher's pet ah you!! Don't like! Everytime do something also teacher sure call you first. Then everytime say never finish homework one. Hahahaha! Ended up I din get to see tu before I go also. Emo lo! =( tskkkk. Dowan friend you! =(((( haha! Take care okay? Will see you sometime in the future or something. ;) <3
Haojia
Should have arrived by now already de lo. Adelaide weiyh. Sounds like a dead state to me. =X haha! Every outing also you will come one, somemore stay uper far, dont know how you find the determination to come up to sunway for all those events also. Petrol made from water weiyh! Not pain one meyh? I from puchong also pain di, you from klang. Omg. Haha! Anyhoo. Thank you for everything! :D somemore you super patient one. People all come late, can see you don't like, but you don't complain one lo. :) then sometimes also you organise trips. Yeap! Thank you!! :D take care!! ;D <3
Hui Wen
Birthday today! Oih? You older than me eh. Yeayyyyy!!!! :P happy birthday!!! Haha! My psycho classmate. =) quite psycho also one. Gets super happy when she gets to answer the question correctly, not correct then negotiate with miss Jane. =P psycho class was fun, wasnt it? :D thank you for everything!! :D wishing you all the best in the things you do! Hope to see you soon? ;) <3
Ritsz
Was initially thinking of going tasmania too, but monash was the better offer. =/ it's alright, you can come pop by Melbourne for a visit before going over to Tassie! :D or I can go Tassie to find you! Yeayyyyy!! Can la. Onsss!! :D take care hun! I'll see you around! ;D <3
Wai Yih
Deng. I dont really know you lah. Only know I went to your math class and then I sit behind you guys only. HAHAHAHAHA! Oops. How ah boss? =P going Sarawak, kan? Take care okay? :D will see you when I see you. ;D <3
Edmund
Teong ah? Tsang Whon. Or Won. Like Korean name only. Spit coffee into my face somemore!! Hahahahaha!! :D months right? :) take care okay? Thank you for your coffee spray. It was much joy. XD take careeeeee!!!!! <3
Cheryl
Hullo!! So sad couldnt see you before I go. =( you take care okay? You're strong enough to get through this. =) got problem go find brandon! He confirm will hear you out and support you one. If you need a girly moment, come find me also can! ;) be strong, okay? <3
3200 feet above sea level, directly above Jakarta. *the pilot just announced, but I forgotten what the number was exactly. LOL*
How I wish my flight has entertainment screen where I can just play for the whole night until I arrive in the fresh smelling atmosphere of Australia. Nope. I had to opt for the cheapest flight. And hence, airasia. Definitely gonna fly malaysian airlines if I am given the chance to, next round. Hrmph.
Lets go with a story now, shall we? I'm pretty much too bored right now in my seat, stuck in this crampy seat of mine, with a slightly empty tummy, writing would work best right now. Prolly taking about 1 to 2 hours, just writing. Hee! <3
The night before my flight, I was running up and down the room trying to figure out how to cut down my luggage weight. It was overweight by about 5kg, and I had nothing else that I could possibly think of taking out. Lifting my luggages over and over again, placing them on the weight scale and then taking it off, before unzipping the luggage and then sitting there stoning, thinking what is there that I could possibly NOT bring over. Been travelling before, but never really in such a scale where I literally have to bring EVERYTHING with me. I was worried that there were things that I needed to bring but was unable to. But it was getting me into alot of unnecessary stress, so I decided to just let it be overweight, and went to sleep. That would be about 4.20 in the morning.
I am missing my bed already. Which was precisely why I didnt even bother replying any messages when it started ringing at about 8am. Figured that I needed time with my bed much more than my phone, I continue sleeping. It was almost noon when I woke up. But I still lay around and roll in bed. Even camwhored with my darling pooh bear for abit, reluctant to leave the bed. ='/
Figured that I practically had nothing left to do, I just lay there in bed for almost ever. Until I sat at the desktop, searching for how much it would cost me if I had overweight luggages. Then an idea came, I could take those excess weights and put them as hand carrys! It was a serious proud moment then as I had finally figured a way to solve this overweight issue. :D and so I went packing. How satisfied I was. Hehe.
After a late lunch, I thought of my bed again. Little did I know, I was rather tired and I just went to sleep. Another round of sleep! The last time I pigged like that had been quite some time ago, and boy, was the sleep a satisfying one. I have always used the excuse to sleep whenever I feel upset, thinking I would wake up, and forgetting what I was thinking of prior to that sleep. It normally works out fine. And this time, it did it's magic again.
Despite how much I wanted to avoid the fact that I am actually leaving the place that had built my life for who I am today, time had came and pushed me from the back, pushing me to face the reality somehow. My heart continued to race faster as the time was nearing for me to say my farewells. I guess I was that reluctant to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is like telling myself, I must leave this life behind and I must start all over again from nothing. But the fact that I know these people will always be behind me, it kept me strong. It kept me knowing that regardless of whatever that could happen to me, I can always come home to these people.
Yeap. Story time is over. Gosh. It feels like I've been talking crap for the first half of the blogpost. What to do? I am bored and stuck in this seat for 8 hours. =(
I really did thought I could leave this place silently and be forgotten by everyone. I stupidly thought that it was the best for these people around me and it would probably be easier for me to move on. Lesson learnt, keeping things to yourself will only kill you mentally and then physically. But thank goodness I was not that stupid afterall, for I did tell people that I was leaving, and soon it was spreading like wildfire. It got me being happier than I initially was. Now that I know that they have done so much for me, I could not help but to learn the value of appreciation.
I got to spend precious time with some of them, and I have gotten much more closer to them. Learning who they are, learning who I am was a part of the process that was overshadowed by all those fun we had. I live in denial. And everything for me was a surprise. And it moves my heart even more, making me wanting to cry with everything they did for me. All those sessions had given me the much needed strength to help me go through what I am about to face in the future.
I have seen friendships failing all the time. I was really scared and worried that it would happen to me. Probably the reason why I had decided to be selfish and wanting to leave unnoticed. But the realisation came, where friends will be around regardless of whatever that happens. Distance is definitely NOT A PROBLEM when it comes to friendships. There need not ...
Whoa! J.D and coke?! 350ml for rm25?! Omg.
Constant contact with each other. One that I have learned to see and treasure, is the fact that I have had friends whom I had no contact with for a few years, yet when we do meet up, it felt like those silence was nothing at all. And that was the silence strength that we all have. Knowing that we have a friend who will always be rooting for us, eventhough they may not say it or show it, the fact that you know you have a friend like that, it was comforting enough. =')
The journey to the airport was nerve wrecking. For a friend had called to ask where I was. Haha. Joker, I was just leaving puchong then. Which meant they have to wait for me to arrive in about 45minutes time. =P I had a few tears while I was on my way. Reality was kicking in, there was nowhere to hide. Walking towards my check in counter, my heart was literally trying to break free from my chest or something. Fact that I knew I had friends waiting for me already, I was moments away from crying. "this will be the last time I would probably see this people." *heaves a heavy sigh*. I could see all of them waiting at mcD, but I turned to check in before going back to them. When I was done with the check in, three gentlemen came to greet me. =)
As though those first batch of people were not enough, my high school buddies came in another batch to see me off. Definitely no running away this time. I was so speechless that I didnt know what to do. All I did was look at everyone and sighed.
It was time to go, leanne and nicole could not let go of me. But I really had to go, natasha came and gave me a hug, and the tear fest let lose. Those tears were flowing like nobody's business and it just went on flowing and flowing and flowing. Went to each and everyone and gave them each a hug. Some words were mentioned to me while we were hugging. But I was busy crying that I could only remember a few. These people are love. Some I may not know with my heart, but I knew enough to make my life an awesome one. =')
These people meant the world to me. My friends have swarmed Ikea, ICity, sunway pyramid and people's houses. Now they have swarmed lcct. One that I did not plan for, and one that got me into tears. Where are we gonna swarm next? Melbourne? :D
I thank you all with all my heart for making an appearance to send me off. Seriously I would have continued crying if I had not have to walk up to the immigration and be a normal human, being late for my boarding. Hahahahaha! <3
I love you.
Thank you for everything.
I'll be back. Make sure you remember me. Otherwise I'd cry for a tsunami and drown all of you so that I can see ya'll in heaven and tell you, 'ha! We're together forever now! Yeayyyyy!'. =P
Kidding. Just stay alive until I get back okay? I am missing you guys already. =')
Thank you!
I owe you the world!! <3
*bear hug*
3.52am, 8th Feb 2012.
How I wish my flight has entertainment screen where I can just play for the whole night until I arrive in the fresh smelling atmosphere of Australia. Nope. I had to opt for the cheapest flight. And hence, airasia. Definitely gonna fly malaysian airlines if I am given the chance to, next round. Hrmph.
Lets go with a story now, shall we? I'm pretty much too bored right now in my seat, stuck in this crampy seat of mine, with a slightly empty tummy, writing would work best right now. Prolly taking about 1 to 2 hours, just writing. Hee! <3
The night before my flight, I was running up and down the room trying to figure out how to cut down my luggage weight. It was overweight by about 5kg, and I had nothing else that I could possibly think of taking out. Lifting my luggages over and over again, placing them on the weight scale and then taking it off, before unzipping the luggage and then sitting there stoning, thinking what is there that I could possibly NOT bring over. Been travelling before, but never really in such a scale where I literally have to bring EVERYTHING with me. I was worried that there were things that I needed to bring but was unable to. But it was getting me into alot of unnecessary stress, so I decided to just let it be overweight, and went to sleep. That would be about 4.20 in the morning.
I am missing my bed already. Which was precisely why I didnt even bother replying any messages when it started ringing at about 8am. Figured that I needed time with my bed much more than my phone, I continue sleeping. It was almost noon when I woke up. But I still lay around and roll in bed. Even camwhored with my darling pooh bear for abit, reluctant to leave the bed. ='/
Figured that I practically had nothing left to do, I just lay there in bed for almost ever. Until I sat at the desktop, searching for how much it would cost me if I had overweight luggages. Then an idea came, I could take those excess weights and put them as hand carrys! It was a serious proud moment then as I had finally figured a way to solve this overweight issue. :D and so I went packing. How satisfied I was. Hehe.
After a late lunch, I thought of my bed again. Little did I know, I was rather tired and I just went to sleep. Another round of sleep! The last time I pigged like that had been quite some time ago, and boy, was the sleep a satisfying one. I have always used the excuse to sleep whenever I feel upset, thinking I would wake up, and forgetting what I was thinking of prior to that sleep. It normally works out fine. And this time, it did it's magic again.
Despite how much I wanted to avoid the fact that I am actually leaving the place that had built my life for who I am today, time had came and pushed me from the back, pushing me to face the reality somehow. My heart continued to race faster as the time was nearing for me to say my farewells. I guess I was that reluctant to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is like telling myself, I must leave this life behind and I must start all over again from nothing. But the fact that I know these people will always be behind me, it kept me strong. It kept me knowing that regardless of whatever that could happen to me, I can always come home to these people.
Yeap. Story time is over. Gosh. It feels like I've been talking crap for the first half of the blogpost. What to do? I am bored and stuck in this seat for 8 hours. =(
I really did thought I could leave this place silently and be forgotten by everyone. I stupidly thought that it was the best for these people around me and it would probably be easier for me to move on. Lesson learnt, keeping things to yourself will only kill you mentally and then physically. But thank goodness I was not that stupid afterall, for I did tell people that I was leaving, and soon it was spreading like wildfire. It got me being happier than I initially was. Now that I know that they have done so much for me, I could not help but to learn the value of appreciation.
I got to spend precious time with some of them, and I have gotten much more closer to them. Learning who they are, learning who I am was a part of the process that was overshadowed by all those fun we had. I live in denial. And everything for me was a surprise. And it moves my heart even more, making me wanting to cry with everything they did for me. All those sessions had given me the much needed strength to help me go through what I am about to face in the future.
I have seen friendships failing all the time. I was really scared and worried that it would happen to me. Probably the reason why I had decided to be selfish and wanting to leave unnoticed. But the realisation came, where friends will be around regardless of whatever that happens. Distance is definitely NOT A PROBLEM when it comes to friendships. There need not ...
Whoa! J.D and coke?! 350ml for rm25?! Omg.
Constant contact with each other. One that I have learned to see and treasure, is the fact that I have had friends whom I had no contact with for a few years, yet when we do meet up, it felt like those silence was nothing at all. And that was the silence strength that we all have. Knowing that we have a friend who will always be rooting for us, eventhough they may not say it or show it, the fact that you know you have a friend like that, it was comforting enough. =')
The journey to the airport was nerve wrecking. For a friend had called to ask where I was. Haha. Joker, I was just leaving puchong then. Which meant they have to wait for me to arrive in about 45minutes time. =P I had a few tears while I was on my way. Reality was kicking in, there was nowhere to hide. Walking towards my check in counter, my heart was literally trying to break free from my chest or something. Fact that I knew I had friends waiting for me already, I was moments away from crying. "this will be the last time I would probably see this people." *heaves a heavy sigh*. I could see all of them waiting at mcD, but I turned to check in before going back to them. When I was done with the check in, three gentlemen came to greet me. =)
As though those first batch of people were not enough, my high school buddies came in another batch to see me off. Definitely no running away this time. I was so speechless that I didnt know what to do. All I did was look at everyone and sighed.
It was time to go, leanne and nicole could not let go of me. But I really had to go, natasha came and gave me a hug, and the tear fest let lose. Those tears were flowing like nobody's business and it just went on flowing and flowing and flowing. Went to each and everyone and gave them each a hug. Some words were mentioned to me while we were hugging. But I was busy crying that I could only remember a few. These people are love. Some I may not know with my heart, but I knew enough to make my life an awesome one. =')
These people meant the world to me. My friends have swarmed Ikea, ICity, sunway pyramid and people's houses. Now they have swarmed lcct. One that I did not plan for, and one that got me into tears. Where are we gonna swarm next? Melbourne? :D
I thank you all with all my heart for making an appearance to send me off. Seriously I would have continued crying if I had not have to walk up to the immigration and be a normal human, being late for my boarding. Hahahahaha! <3
I love you.
Thank you for everything.
I'll be back. Make sure you remember me. Otherwise I'd cry for a tsunami and drown all of you so that I can see ya'll in heaven and tell you, 'ha! We're together forever now! Yeayyyyy!'. =P
Kidding. Just stay alive until I get back okay? I am missing you guys already. =')
Thank you!
I owe you the world!! <3
*bear hug*
3.52am, 8th Feb 2012.
Monday, February 6, 2012
hello there, it has been awhile, has it not? heh. i've been busy hanging out with my friends having my last farewells with these people before i leave for good. also because i have partially lost the mood for blogging. have been really overwhelmed with the fact that i am actually leaving malaysia for australia, and stepping foot into a dream that i have always been dreaming of. it actually is coming true. i still find it really hard to believe so. but after all those preparation i have done, the only thing left to do is to bring that bold and brave attitude in me to surface, strong enough to face this huge hurdle that is placed right before my eyes at this moment.
there are so much to prepare that i even got confused with what i am supposed to pack in the first place. when i initially think of packing this, then another thought of something else came into mind, immediately eliminating the previous thought due to the lack of space i have in my luggages. i literally have to pack my whole closet there in order for me to feel safe that i have enough clothes to wear. but i am losing out on alot of other necessary things too. best way to solve this? write a list of course! but as the list grew, the importance of each object was losing it's placing as the luggage slowly begins to fill up. leaving me no choice but to pack them again when i come back for a second round. hopefully i have what i need for the whole period i will be there.
realise that this post is slightly boring and also quite out of topic, let's just assume this is some random rantings i have, talking about my random thoughts at the current moment yeah? haha! it's been awhile since i've gotten loose with my thoughts while i blog. seems like serious blogging was much more fun. BUT I WAS REALLY THAT OCCUPIED FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS! =(
the blues had taken place and blew me off my feet a few times already now. i ocassionally fall into depression thinking i will be leaving this place that i have grown with, forgotten. but i guess a little appreciation was all i needed to help me have my confidence back on the ground to feel that i will be alright eventhough i had to start a totally new life over the sea. i had been excited that i was actually reliving my dream at first. but the sadness slowly crept in, slowly, but very alarmingly. it is now that i realised that these people whom i know, are those who are the most spectacular people anyone could ever come to know of. i have no words to describe how awesome these people are, and i have learned to appreciate the littlest things that they have even given me. their appearance in my life itself is worth the world to me. now, instead of me worrying about them forgetting me, it is me, appreciating every single thing that they have given me in whichever time in my life that they appeared in.
the past two weeks had been really rough on me, knowing that it would probably be my last time meeting all these awesome people. it got me more and more reluctant to go to each meet up. the refusal attitude of me wanting to accept the fact. the stubborness of me not wanting to let go. the hardheaded side of me that i didn't want things to change for the fear that i could very well end up really lonely and sad in the land down under. as much as i try to be optimistic, sometimes reality does hit me really hard and i couldn't help but to stay in bed and gloom about it for the whole day. it was only courage and the appreciation that got me standing, to get up and say my last goodbyes. it got much harder to accept as the flight closed in.
and today, i am on my last day here.
i am nervousexcitedsadhappyanxiousworriedhomesickcuriousoptimisticscaredeager and many other vocabs that i could fit in, but these are all that i could think of at the moment. guess it is all that is needed to explain what i am feeling right now, yeah? haha
there were moments where i really felt like crying, for feeling touched, for feeling sad, for feeling heavy hearted and all, but i guess i am confused for what i am actually feeling that i could not squeeze any of those tears from my tear ducts at all. or maybe my tear ducts are severed. or it could also possibly be because that i am just not normal to begin with. hrm. i'd like the first option. ;D
it's my final night here!!
omgggggggggggggg
i wish i can sleep in bed for the whole day tomorrow, i'm missing my bed so much right now. a queen sized bed all to myself, with the freedom to kick and stretch however i likve without worrying of getting bruised, ahhhhh. i am feeling homesick already. ='(
what about my aunt?
yeah. i'm worried as hell for her, honestly. but she kept telling me, 'haha! when you're not around, i'll be so much more happier, less one person to be worried about.'
after all those years, i have learned her sarcasm methods of communicating. like of course she will be worried about me. not being vain, but she is like my mother to me. how could she not worry about me?! =P but i have a dream to chase. and i will come home someday, i owe her my life. and i know that i will have both her and my mother with me forever, through thick and thin, through the blizzard and the summer's heatwave, UNTIL THE DAY I DIE! their heart is mine to keep. =)
dear future boyfriend of mine, i do not have a heart. good luck finding it.
it's a clue there, isnt it?
oh my goodness. it has been so long since i last let loose of myself like this. i guess when i was really bored, i found academic writing much more amusing, but THIS is magical. =O
LMAO! you actually read up til here, give yourself a smile would'ja?
life is awesome, and so are you.
make rainbows when life gives you colours.
stay awesome! <3
there are so much to prepare that i even got confused with what i am supposed to pack in the first place. when i initially think of packing this, then another thought of something else came into mind, immediately eliminating the previous thought due to the lack of space i have in my luggages. i literally have to pack my whole closet there in order for me to feel safe that i have enough clothes to wear. but i am losing out on alot of other necessary things too. best way to solve this? write a list of course! but as the list grew, the importance of each object was losing it's placing as the luggage slowly begins to fill up. leaving me no choice but to pack them again when i come back for a second round. hopefully i have what i need for the whole period i will be there.
realise that this post is slightly boring and also quite out of topic, let's just assume this is some random rantings i have, talking about my random thoughts at the current moment yeah? haha! it's been awhile since i've gotten loose with my thoughts while i blog. seems like serious blogging was much more fun. BUT I WAS REALLY THAT OCCUPIED FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS! =(
the blues had taken place and blew me off my feet a few times already now. i ocassionally fall into depression thinking i will be leaving this place that i have grown with, forgotten. but i guess a little appreciation was all i needed to help me have my confidence back on the ground to feel that i will be alright eventhough i had to start a totally new life over the sea. i had been excited that i was actually reliving my dream at first. but the sadness slowly crept in, slowly, but very alarmingly. it is now that i realised that these people whom i know, are those who are the most spectacular people anyone could ever come to know of. i have no words to describe how awesome these people are, and i have learned to appreciate the littlest things that they have even given me. their appearance in my life itself is worth the world to me. now, instead of me worrying about them forgetting me, it is me, appreciating every single thing that they have given me in whichever time in my life that they appeared in.
the past two weeks had been really rough on me, knowing that it would probably be my last time meeting all these awesome people. it got me more and more reluctant to go to each meet up. the refusal attitude of me wanting to accept the fact. the stubborness of me not wanting to let go. the hardheaded side of me that i didn't want things to change for the fear that i could very well end up really lonely and sad in the land down under. as much as i try to be optimistic, sometimes reality does hit me really hard and i couldn't help but to stay in bed and gloom about it for the whole day. it was only courage and the appreciation that got me standing, to get up and say my last goodbyes. it got much harder to accept as the flight closed in.
and today, i am on my last day here.
i am nervousexcitedsadhappyanxiousworriedhomesickcuriousoptimisticscaredeager and many other vocabs that i could fit in, but these are all that i could think of at the moment. guess it is all that is needed to explain what i am feeling right now, yeah? haha
there were moments where i really felt like crying, for feeling touched, for feeling sad, for feeling heavy hearted and all, but i guess i am confused for what i am actually feeling that i could not squeeze any of those tears from my tear ducts at all. or maybe my tear ducts are severed. or it could also possibly be because that i am just not normal to begin with. hrm. i'd like the first option. ;D
it's my final night here!!
omgggggggggggggg
i wish i can sleep in bed for the whole day tomorrow, i'm missing my bed so much right now. a queen sized bed all to myself, with the freedom to kick and stretch however i likve without worrying of getting bruised, ahhhhh. i am feeling homesick already. ='(
what about my aunt?
yeah. i'm worried as hell for her, honestly. but she kept telling me, 'haha! when you're not around, i'll be so much more happier, less one person to be worried about.'
after all those years, i have learned her sarcasm methods of communicating. like of course she will be worried about me. not being vain, but she is like my mother to me. how could she not worry about me?! =P but i have a dream to chase. and i will come home someday, i owe her my life. and i know that i will have both her and my mother with me forever, through thick and thin, through the blizzard and the summer's heatwave, UNTIL THE DAY I DIE! their heart is mine to keep. =)
dear future boyfriend of mine, i do not have a heart. good luck finding it.
it's a clue there, isnt it?
oh my goodness. it has been so long since i last let loose of myself like this. i guess when i was really bored, i found academic writing much more amusing, but THIS is magical. =O
LMAO! you actually read up til here, give yourself a smile would'ja?
life is awesome, and so are you.
make rainbows when life gives you colours.
stay awesome! <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)