And so, today I woke up with a purpose.
It's my enrollment day today. One step indeed. After a whole week of laziness, I had to turn in early last night and get myself up early for the first time since I got here, just for this day. Significant. Probably one that I should remember. Probably one that I will forget somehow. Haha. We'll see. But now that it's written down, there is no way this day is gonna vanish like every other day. It has been recorded. :X
And so, today I have turned into the anti-social person whom we all know on day 1. Not too sure how long I would stay this way, but it would probably remain this way for quite some time. First day's impressions are the ones that people will remember for the rest of their lives. That's what people say, for I have a bad memory in remembering how I know 98% of the people and what I thought if them at the first glance. For me, those first impressions will somehow blend into the person that they really are. Heh.
Whoa.
Nah. I am still rather anti-social. There weren't many people during the talk about enrolment. Met a malaysian 2nd year student. But yeah, I didnt really get to talk to her. Right now, I'm waiting for my turn to enrol. It's taking some time probably cause they need to discuss properly before they enrol. In front of me, there are some hong kees. Noted by the way they speak their dialect. And on my right are two Iranians. Was talking to one of them but it was awkward, and so I didn't bother. But lucky her, she has an Iranian company with her now, chatting away while I am here tapping away on my phone. Also am thinking how would I settle with my courses/units enrollment. Hungryyyy. Shall walk around the city after I'm done with this. :D
Bio and chem would definitely be a must. But I need a third subject. Hrmm. Psychology or geological sciences? =/ and I need to have a minor in order to graduate BSc. Hrmmm. Double major, zoology and marine bio? :F omg. It sounds really temptinggg. But right now I am feeling rather scared cause I know I'm not a bright student. :( But it does seem like I could do it. I can decide that later on. My first year shall determine my future. :D
...
And I am done with my enrolment! It wasnt as hectic as I thought it would be. Even got myself to arrange my whole three years for a double major in zoology and marine biology. :D I feel like a child. But then again, my 2nd major, marine bio is still an option. Would have to see what lies ahead of me. As of now, I have enrolled myself into bio, chem and geological science. :)
...
Did I mention how much I dislike taking buses as a public transportation? As easy as it is to some people, I still find it rather difficult. For some stops they are quite unpredictable, unsure of the distance where to or from the destination. But anyhow, I took my first bus ride from monash uni to Clayton train station. Feeling rather proud if you ask me. Nehehehehe. And I made friends with a Singaporean. She even gave me her number. Bahahahaha! She's taking law. I feel intimidated. :X hrmm. I think I just discovered my methods of making friends. At least I learned something today. :)
...
Today is rather hot. Same temperature as it would back home in Malaysia. It would probably be in that zone of temperature for the next two to three days. Could easily wear my favourite shorts out. :D headed for the city now. No idea what for this time, but yeah, I'm headed there anyways.
...
There doesnt seem to have anything else to do here in the city. :( And I am having my first proper lunch ever since I got here. Terrible aren't I? Have been sleeping in til late and only having a proper meal, which is dinner. Hehe. Oops. I think I might have spoilt my tummy a little too much there. :/
Correction : I have indeed spoiled my tummy. Having gastric pains at the moment. :( this is what happens when you drastically change your habit out of nowhere. ;(
But anyhoo. Today was a good day.
Owh. It's Valentine's Day too! Happy V Day!! <3
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
peaceful
serene
safe
beautiful
as you stop in your tracks walking home, you take a peek and gaze up into the night sky. you could see billions of stars of different light intensities lighting up the cloudless sky. accompanied by the sweet smelling breeze that was chilly and cool, blowing into your face. your mind tells you that it is so beautiful that you could just stay there and stare at the sky for the whole night.
=)
serene
safe
beautiful
as you stop in your tracks walking home, you take a peek and gaze up into the night sky. you could see billions of stars of different light intensities lighting up the cloudless sky. accompanied by the sweet smelling breeze that was chilly and cool, blowing into your face. your mind tells you that it is so beautiful that you could just stay there and stare at the sky for the whole night.
=)
the blogging community is wide that i have no idea how did i come across certain things in the first place.
i would have to say, blogging is literally my life at this point of time. what there is in my mind, i would write them down in words, whether in my precious laptop or my handy handphone, i'd make sure i would have my thought written down in one way or another. probable being alone is what got me wanting to write more. knowing that i might actually bore the crap out of my friends if i were to constantly update them and bugging them on any random stuff i could blurt out at that moment. either that, or i would simply post some random words and thoughts on twitter. they really don't link, purely random thoughts to keep myself busy and free from depression.
wouldn't like to admit the fact that i have faced depression a little too much on the norm. even when i am amongst people whom i love dearly, i would often feel left out still. society had brainwashed me into thinking that if i were to admit that i am facing depression, one would tell me off into my face, saying that i am an attention seeking whore. sounds harsh doesn't it? sometimes i really do feel like i need a psychiatrist to talk to about my thoughts. knowing that it is their job to listen, it didnt feel like it was much of a bothersome thing to do, by spilling out all thoughts possible. but if you tell the society that you have plans to meet a pschiatrist or a counsellor, they would probably think you've gone mad.
people would say, isnt't that why we all have friends? yeah, we do. but if it comes down to me telling a friend about my problems, it does somewhat feel like i am shoving a loadful of unforseen burden onto them. true, we have best friends who are willing to listen to everything we say without judging us. but they are humans too. surely they have a limit to these kind of mentally psychologically things don't they?
fact is, we are all humans and we all need to express ourselves one way or another. only probably is that from time to time, we are shunned from doing so. which will then be bulked up into a whole lot of mess later on. =/
well. i had'nt been going out yesterday nor today. so yeah, i tend to have a whole lot of 'alone' time and this was something that has brought some agitation in me.
bear with me would ya?
i'm just expressing myself. :)
i have been here for almost a week now, still trying to accept the fact that i am here rather stubbornly too. silly me. but i guess i really couldn't help it. i wake up every morning, knowing that i am here in australia, yet my heart was yearning for me to go back asleep, hoping that this was all a dream and that i would wake up in malaysia again. and everynight before i sleep, i'll be wide awake up until 5am where my body could no longer stand being awake, just because i wanted to feel the same as everyone is back at home.
part of me feels like screaming, "OMG! I'M IN AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!", but deep down, it only reminded me that i missed home.
yes, i'm taking this homesickness rather seriously. maybe because i have yet to start my officialy australian life as uni life will only begin on the 20th of this month. which in turn gives me plenty of time to THINK and have many torturous thoughts that would bring me back into feeling homesick. please forgive me, i am a girl, who likes to see things in a 'reality' manner. i don't see the point of fabricating emotions and being 'i am so freaggin happy here in australia, everything here is awesome, back home, everything sucks, boo you!' kinda person.
as honest as i can be, i am enjoying my time here. i am.
just that that tingly part of me is missing home.
i would have to say, blogging is literally my life at this point of time. what there is in my mind, i would write them down in words, whether in my precious laptop or my handy handphone, i'd make sure i would have my thought written down in one way or another. probable being alone is what got me wanting to write more. knowing that i might actually bore the crap out of my friends if i were to constantly update them and bugging them on any random stuff i could blurt out at that moment. either that, or i would simply post some random words and thoughts on twitter. they really don't link, purely random thoughts to keep myself busy and free from depression.
wouldn't like to admit the fact that i have faced depression a little too much on the norm. even when i am amongst people whom i love dearly, i would often feel left out still. society had brainwashed me into thinking that if i were to admit that i am facing depression, one would tell me off into my face, saying that i am an attention seeking whore. sounds harsh doesn't it? sometimes i really do feel like i need a psychiatrist to talk to about my thoughts. knowing that it is their job to listen, it didnt feel like it was much of a bothersome thing to do, by spilling out all thoughts possible. but if you tell the society that you have plans to meet a pschiatrist or a counsellor, they would probably think you've gone mad.
people would say, isnt't that why we all have friends? yeah, we do. but if it comes down to me telling a friend about my problems, it does somewhat feel like i am shoving a loadful of unforseen burden onto them. true, we have best friends who are willing to listen to everything we say without judging us. but they are humans too. surely they have a limit to these kind of mentally psychologically things don't they?
fact is, we are all humans and we all need to express ourselves one way or another. only probably is that from time to time, we are shunned from doing so. which will then be bulked up into a whole lot of mess later on. =/
well. i had'nt been going out yesterday nor today. so yeah, i tend to have a whole lot of 'alone' time and this was something that has brought some agitation in me.
bear with me would ya?
i'm just expressing myself. :)
i have been here for almost a week now, still trying to accept the fact that i am here rather stubbornly too. silly me. but i guess i really couldn't help it. i wake up every morning, knowing that i am here in australia, yet my heart was yearning for me to go back asleep, hoping that this was all a dream and that i would wake up in malaysia again. and everynight before i sleep, i'll be wide awake up until 5am where my body could no longer stand being awake, just because i wanted to feel the same as everyone is back at home.
part of me feels like screaming, "OMG! I'M IN AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!", but deep down, it only reminded me that i missed home.
yes, i'm taking this homesickness rather seriously. maybe because i have yet to start my officialy australian life as uni life will only begin on the 20th of this month. which in turn gives me plenty of time to THINK and have many torturous thoughts that would bring me back into feeling homesick. please forgive me, i am a girl, who likes to see things in a 'reality' manner. i don't see the point of fabricating emotions and being 'i am so freaggin happy here in australia, everything here is awesome, back home, everything sucks, boo you!' kinda person.
as honest as i can be, i am enjoying my time here. i am.
just that that tingly part of me is missing home.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Life is good.
Provided if you do know how to make the best of it. Thus a silly old habit of mine where I wouldn't believe it when ppl say, 'fml' or 'my life sucks'. Cause honestly, as bad as it gets, if you take things positively, I don't see how a problem could practically ruin your life.
Given the example that I am not allowed to do cheerleading anymore. Yes, that got me really upset for quite sometime, but that did not mean that it was the end of the world. Instead, it got me searching around for other interests that I can pursue, and today, I got myself to have more interest in writing. It may not bring as much excitement as cheerleading, but writing too had been one of my hidden passions. It was just about time that I dug this passion out and put in a little more effort as time passes, and improving it along the way. Who knows if I could actually publish a book someday? A distant dream, now unraveled. About time to take control. :)
Even when we may be facing some down moments in life, all that is needed is a little support from people who believes in us. We all know life is bitchy, it literally throws us all over the place, making sure that we hate life in someways. But with support, and inner courage, problems thrown in by life's PMS, would be tackled easily. Best of all, it brings us to a whole new level of experience once we manage to pull through that period.
If one were to compare how 'sucky' their life is, it really is incomparable. Simply because every individual will have their own set of problems, and each individual will have their own methods on countering the problem, and each individual have their own life for themselves. Fair enough to say that, NOBODY is in control of your own life, but you yourself. Yes, people may give you advices, share with you their story on how they tackle their problems, but you will find yourself handling the matter with your own might in the end. For each and everyone of us has got our own story, and that only 'we' know how to handle our own problems.
Many a times, we would end up making the wrong moves in trying to solve the problem, which would in turn cause it to be worse than it already is. Stop for a bit, was it really a mistake? Or was is it coincidentally that it was not the right thing and the right time that things just fell out of hand. Had it not brought you another scenario and brought you more knowledge on how to handle things better when these kind of things were to happen again in the near future? It really is about the positivity in us that needs to be strong. If everything could be taken lightly, would it not make your heart feel much more calm and lifted? Rather then feeling really depressed and then with all those mopping around, where will this bring you? Nowhere, I perhaps.
We listen to stories, which then inspire us to stay strong and that we can actually go through these problem we have in ease. There may be times where we would look at others and go, 'why can't I have a life like that too?'. Well, you can't, but you can definitely make your own happy ending. And there is also a factor of appreciation. Once we learn how to appreciate things, everything just seemed so much more beautiful than it originally was, somewhat an image that we never noticed before.
What I like to do, is read some inspirational quotes from time to time. Sometimes, they do bring some sort if sentimental realisation when everything seemed clouded. Probably these quotes were written when the certain inspiration or realisation, that was managed to be captured at that moment. Sort of like a vault of unnoticeable awesome moments, allowing people to relive those captured moments, and continue feeling inspired by them. :D
Okay. Emo nemo time done. :P
Feel like playing some tf2 though.
Been really lazy lately, hopefully,I'll remember that I have to be in uni this Tuesday. :D
life really is good.
just allow it to be.
<3
Provided if you do know how to make the best of it. Thus a silly old habit of mine where I wouldn't believe it when ppl say, 'fml' or 'my life sucks'. Cause honestly, as bad as it gets, if you take things positively, I don't see how a problem could practically ruin your life.
Given the example that I am not allowed to do cheerleading anymore. Yes, that got me really upset for quite sometime, but that did not mean that it was the end of the world. Instead, it got me searching around for other interests that I can pursue, and today, I got myself to have more interest in writing. It may not bring as much excitement as cheerleading, but writing too had been one of my hidden passions. It was just about time that I dug this passion out and put in a little more effort as time passes, and improving it along the way. Who knows if I could actually publish a book someday? A distant dream, now unraveled. About time to take control. :)
Even when we may be facing some down moments in life, all that is needed is a little support from people who believes in us. We all know life is bitchy, it literally throws us all over the place, making sure that we hate life in someways. But with support, and inner courage, problems thrown in by life's PMS, would be tackled easily. Best of all, it brings us to a whole new level of experience once we manage to pull through that period.
If one were to compare how 'sucky' their life is, it really is incomparable. Simply because every individual will have their own set of problems, and each individual will have their own methods on countering the problem, and each individual have their own life for themselves. Fair enough to say that, NOBODY is in control of your own life, but you yourself. Yes, people may give you advices, share with you their story on how they tackle their problems, but you will find yourself handling the matter with your own might in the end. For each and everyone of us has got our own story, and that only 'we' know how to handle our own problems.
Many a times, we would end up making the wrong moves in trying to solve the problem, which would in turn cause it to be worse than it already is. Stop for a bit, was it really a mistake? Or was is it coincidentally that it was not the right thing and the right time that things just fell out of hand. Had it not brought you another scenario and brought you more knowledge on how to handle things better when these kind of things were to happen again in the near future? It really is about the positivity in us that needs to be strong. If everything could be taken lightly, would it not make your heart feel much more calm and lifted? Rather then feeling really depressed and then with all those mopping around, where will this bring you? Nowhere, I perhaps.
We listen to stories, which then inspire us to stay strong and that we can actually go through these problem we have in ease. There may be times where we would look at others and go, 'why can't I have a life like that too?'. Well, you can't, but you can definitely make your own happy ending. And there is also a factor of appreciation. Once we learn how to appreciate things, everything just seemed so much more beautiful than it originally was, somewhat an image that we never noticed before.
What I like to do, is read some inspirational quotes from time to time. Sometimes, they do bring some sort if sentimental realisation when everything seemed clouded. Probably these quotes were written when the certain inspiration or realisation, that was managed to be captured at that moment. Sort of like a vault of unnoticeable awesome moments, allowing people to relive those captured moments, and continue feeling inspired by them. :D
Okay. Emo nemo time done. :P
Feel like playing some tf2 though.
Been really lazy lately, hopefully,I'll remember that I have to be in uni this Tuesday. :D
life really is good.
just allow it to be.
<3
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Hi. I is Asian.
I feel oh so Asian amongst people here in a foreign land. Even the Asians here speak their accent. I'm still with my Malaysian accent and that would take quite some time to be converted into the current accent. No, my old Malaysian accent will not die. It will probably be there and will only come back to live when I'm with my fellow Asians. :D
Waiting for my train to the city for another trip. It tends to get later as the day passes. I still have that zoo visiting thought in my head, but the time difference is causing my sleep time to be really off, thus missing the chance to view the zoo as a whole. It is now 5pm. If I were to visit the zoo, the perfect timing would be from 11am or latest 12pm. But I cant get up if I'm sleeping at about 5am daily, right? =/
Yeap. Pretty screwed up really.
Been used to staying awake until about 4-5 am back in Malaysia, and would only sleep when everybody was asleep. No idea why, but I did. And now that I am 3 hours ahead. I could no longer keep up with that streak of mine. =(
It still does feel like I am Malaysia if it weren't for the time difference. But the time difference is really bothering me.
Challenge of the day : navigate the city without a map.
Starting to like travelling alone. :D
Though honestly, I still do feel lonely despite knowing my friend is around. It does feel like I am pretty dependent on her as a company just because I am lonely. :( but I do feel much better with het company. Would probably feel alright if my sister was around too. Now to think of it, it probably is a good thing that I hadn't gone for Tassie. =O would probably be crying my eyeballs out if I were to be there at this point. =X
The loneliness in me is making me super excited that some of my buddies who will be coming over sometime next year. Right now, I've been hogging my mobile and my laptop to search for people to chat to, to keep me company, the avoid being succumbed by the homesick depression I have. :X I feel bad in a way, practically leeching on them to make myself feel better. I'm so sorry. T.T
Flinder's street again!
Detour: took the train all the way to Parliament, the nearest exit to Chinatown.
Shall head on down to Chinatown this time. :D
10.27pm
It is only now that I am headed down back home to where my sister lives, Camberwell. Had a nice chat with my friend from Malaysia. Will have to wait til 10.41pm for my ride back. It is rather late now. Considering that I have yet to be fully familiar with this place, it shouldnt be advisable for me to stay out this late. Was offered to stay at my friend's, but I figured it would be much nicer to travel home to where I can literally do whatever I can. I have the whole room to myself, and my laptop is back there too. Been too hooked to my laptop that I doubt I could survive one night without it.
Had my second servings of icecream again today. And my friend's father cooked me some good meal. I felt loved! Literally it was all I need to feel happy, to have a full, satisfied stomach. After all, if it wasnt for her, I would probably just stay at home and go hungry, ignoring everything possible.
Owh! And I survived walking the streets without a map! Yeayyyyy!! I am definitely proud of myself. I think I should give the city tour a day's rest. O.o Though I made my friend lead the way to the icecream store. It was much fun eventhough it was quite a distance away. Another proud moment, I didnt complain that it was far! :D walking with her made me feel safe, like it was alright being in a foreign country afterall. I guess all I needed was a company. =/
I am a leech! D=
I feed on people's vibe. :(
Manymanymany Asians here. :X
Can I be a Korean? :F
I secretly like trains as public transports. It makes me like an adult when I actually take them on my own. Somehow it feels like it is so much more convenient compared to buses and taxis. Probably because trains have only one specific route while the buses have several different ones. And probably there are so many different routes for buses, I just get too confused riding them. Buses are even numbered. :/ and taxis are for lazy people. :P
Okay I'm in the train now, feeling rather bored. I definitely miss home, but I am enjoying every moment I can while I am here. After all, this will be my life from now on. :) thinking about the past would only make me upset. So... future thoughts it is. ;D
Wheeeee~!
Day 4 in Melb, done!
Staying home tomorrow. Yeahhh. Time for some rest. :)
I feel oh so Asian amongst people here in a foreign land. Even the Asians here speak their accent. I'm still with my Malaysian accent and that would take quite some time to be converted into the current accent. No, my old Malaysian accent will not die. It will probably be there and will only come back to live when I'm with my fellow Asians. :D
Waiting for my train to the city for another trip. It tends to get later as the day passes. I still have that zoo visiting thought in my head, but the time difference is causing my sleep time to be really off, thus missing the chance to view the zoo as a whole. It is now 5pm. If I were to visit the zoo, the perfect timing would be from 11am or latest 12pm. But I cant get up if I'm sleeping at about 5am daily, right? =/
Yeap. Pretty screwed up really.
Been used to staying awake until about 4-5 am back in Malaysia, and would only sleep when everybody was asleep. No idea why, but I did. And now that I am 3 hours ahead. I could no longer keep up with that streak of mine. =(
It still does feel like I am Malaysia if it weren't for the time difference. But the time difference is really bothering me.
Challenge of the day : navigate the city without a map.
Starting to like travelling alone. :D
Though honestly, I still do feel lonely despite knowing my friend is around. It does feel like I am pretty dependent on her as a company just because I am lonely. :( but I do feel much better with het company. Would probably feel alright if my sister was around too. Now to think of it, it probably is a good thing that I hadn't gone for Tassie. =O would probably be crying my eyeballs out if I were to be there at this point. =X
The loneliness in me is making me super excited that some of my buddies who will be coming over sometime next year. Right now, I've been hogging my mobile and my laptop to search for people to chat to, to keep me company, the avoid being succumbed by the homesick depression I have. :X I feel bad in a way, practically leeching on them to make myself feel better. I'm so sorry. T.T
Flinder's street again!
Detour: took the train all the way to Parliament, the nearest exit to Chinatown.
Shall head on down to Chinatown this time. :D
10.27pm
It is only now that I am headed down back home to where my sister lives, Camberwell. Had a nice chat with my friend from Malaysia. Will have to wait til 10.41pm for my ride back. It is rather late now. Considering that I have yet to be fully familiar with this place, it shouldnt be advisable for me to stay out this late. Was offered to stay at my friend's, but I figured it would be much nicer to travel home to where I can literally do whatever I can. I have the whole room to myself, and my laptop is back there too. Been too hooked to my laptop that I doubt I could survive one night without it.
Had my second servings of icecream again today. And my friend's father cooked me some good meal. I felt loved! Literally it was all I need to feel happy, to have a full, satisfied stomach. After all, if it wasnt for her, I would probably just stay at home and go hungry, ignoring everything possible.
Owh! And I survived walking the streets without a map! Yeayyyyy!! I am definitely proud of myself. I think I should give the city tour a day's rest. O.o Though I made my friend lead the way to the icecream store. It was much fun eventhough it was quite a distance away. Another proud moment, I didnt complain that it was far! :D walking with her made me feel safe, like it was alright being in a foreign country afterall. I guess all I needed was a company. =/
I am a leech! D=
I feed on people's vibe. :(
Manymanymany Asians here. :X
Can I be a Korean? :F
I secretly like trains as public transports. It makes me like an adult when I actually take them on my own. Somehow it feels like it is so much more convenient compared to buses and taxis. Probably because trains have only one specific route while the buses have several different ones. And probably there are so many different routes for buses, I just get too confused riding them. Buses are even numbered. :/ and taxis are for lazy people. :P
Okay I'm in the train now, feeling rather bored. I definitely miss home, but I am enjoying every moment I can while I am here. After all, this will be my life from now on. :) thinking about the past would only make me upset. So... future thoughts it is. ;D
Wheeeee~!
Day 4 in Melb, done!
Staying home tomorrow. Yeahhh. Time for some rest. :)
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