And i have shifted into my own place. :)

YEAY!
Honestly, i was really nervous about shifting in initially. Probably because it was quite sudden and i was just about to get used to where i was living; with my sister. But i knew i needed to shift out somehow, and now the day has finally come. :D

What i didn't expect was how much i actually needed to spend when i have to shift into a new place. As though i had not need to shop enough back in Malaysia to bring some supplies over, today, i still had an amount of things to shop. From plates, to comforters, pillows and most importantly, FOOD. Yeap. I actually missed that part out. All in all, i spent almost 1k on them. Not to mention on my rent and i stupidly purchased myself a brand new phone. :( Right now, i am already in my 3rd week here, and i have already spent that much. I FEEL PRESSURED!

Now that i have to live on my own, I have to control what i am spending on, necessities, transportation and also, FOOD. Food would be my most major issue. I tend to spend alot on food and I would find all sorts of reasons just to get myself FOOD. :/ Yet i have troubles eating. For i know I would tend to get lazy and would just skip eating altogether at times. Which in turn is rather risky, especially now that I am living on my own. It is about time that I have to start taking care of myself. hehe

Loving my new home. :) The housemates here are extremely friendly. It makes me feel as though I am some rude person. Also, I just found out that I am the youngest amongst them. Two of them are Aussies, and one, Japanese. I feel like a kid, knowing that i'm the youngest around here. Eventhough I may be the youngest here, one of the aussie housemate I met, looks so much younger than me. -.-
Also liking the fact that i have my own bathroom. Now that i have the luxury of it, I do feel fortunate that i have my own bathroom. :D
One thing i dislike about this area is the fact that the road towards this house is rather dark. The first time i walked through that walkway towards the house, my head was going, "oh shoot. what if my friends know that i have a phobia of darkness and they would just pop up and scare the crap out of me?!". Yeap. It is that dark that i started freaking myself out as i walk towards the door. :(
On another note, my room has quite dull lightings. Perfect for sleeping, though I am not too sure about studying. :/

But anyhow, I am loving where I'm staying right now.
Orientation is tomorrow. Fingers crossed I'll find a good bunch of friends then. :)

Regardless, I still miss home. :)
<3

it's time to shift into my own place!

honestly, i am slightly anxious about moving in. in a way, it is marking the official beginning of my own life. settling things on my own, getting to places on my own, making sure i eat properly, being independent, 95% independent maybe, definitely not a 100 yet. hehe. well all i know about this new place is that there will be two australians and one japanese staying there. as of now, i'm seeing myself as one very antisocial person. i know it will take time for me to blend in with them, but it doesnt feel like i am as brave to be super friendly yet. where i will be living, will be a twenty minutes walk away from uni, but as of now, i'm not too sure how long it will take me to reach campus, i guess i will eventually figure it out by next week. had an initial plan of getting a bicycle to cut my journey short. but looking at where i am staying, cycling at that area seems quite dangerous, especially for a noobie cyclist like me who knows nothing about the australian road rules. even to get to the nearest town, taking the bus is only possible. walking there for a leisure walk is fine, but i doubt it will be as joyful when i walk home with a few bags of groceries in hand.

now, the question is, how long would it take for me to get acquainted with the other three girls in that house? i am fine being antisocial, but it just isnt nice being antisocial. i would need to communicate with them sometime somehow. hrmmmmmm
this is my first time living on my own. :(
forgive meeeeeeeeee

if i had no problems with my spine, i would have definitely joined a cheerleading squad here. cheerleading is still growing here, probably better based that back in malaysia. would've given me better exposure. nope. i have a spine problem, however much i wish to join one, health wise, it will still be worrying.

getting a phone here is simple. you choose your phone, you choose your plan, and you're good to go. wait. i'm not an aussie, thus currency is the bigger problem to me. i am trying my best to keep my malaysian number in my Xperia mobile, simply because i did not want to lose all those contacts information i had in there. also because i was doubting that people would actually be contacting me through my aussie number, thus the reluctant attitude. then i came up with the idea of getting a new phone, just for my aussie number. i thought maybe at least with it, i can have internet excess as the free wifi excess here is rather limited. have been searching around for better options and also the phone that i would like to use. came across nokia N9. it was using a platform that no other phone was using, yet. and it came in the colour blue. knowing how i like to be different from everyone else, it tempted me badly. it wasnt normal that we could see a coloured smartphone around anyways. a BLUE smartphone, with MeeGo system.

didn't like the windows system and iPhone was highly overrated. was looking around for android as i was used to it's system already. but MeeGo was somewhat similar to android, but much simpler. not as much folders and swipes needed to use it. rather simple, and it's BLUE!! :D
after much surveying, it is only today that i have decided that i should stick to my current plan, and upgrade it into the postpaid. what Vodafone, Optus and Telstra offers are considerably much more expensive than what i found today. though i may not be sure that i would use up to the amount i pay for, but it still does seem much more worth it. besides, the others did not have the blue n9 as they only have the black one.
solution: purchase the blue one elsewhere, 469aud and get the postpaid plan. 4gig of data useage, unlimited texts, unlimited calls for a whole month, costing 40aud per month.
other companies offering the price of service plus mobile would cost about 99aud per month for 24 months for unlimited usage. or, 5aud9 per month for 1.5gig data and limited usage.
:D
and i will get myself a blue smartphone. YEAY!

lol. my post today sounds rather boring.
i feel bored typing this even, but i just feel like typing something.
hadn't have the mood to go anywhere since that weekend's trip to the city.
been rotting at home like nobody's business. :P

anyhow.
as much as i miss home, thank goodness for the internet excess and also the lively social net work we have today. have had several calls through skype since i landed, and they have been keeping me company and sanely sane up til today. yesterday's session was the best. had a brief chat with my dear friend whom i miss dearly, and followed by a 4-5 hours session with up to 11 of my ausmat coursemates. it may sound really hectic and really laggy, but it was alright. would have to say it was one of the best sessions i have ever had. just to hear those voices and feel like i am still back at home, makes me feel comforted. :)

haven't been updating my facebook much. for i know my mother stalks me on facebook, i am trying not to make her worried as much as i can. right now, i have a new stalker on my blog, my sister. :P but i guess i can't stop her from reading my posts. cause my blog is where i let myself free, and it is a place where people would only read when they choose to read. at least i still have my freedom. it feels good sharing my thoughts with people who cares too. i miss my aunt though. i miss how we used to talk about random things about life and i can't do that anymore. gets a tad bit upsetting. will make it an effort to call her more once i'm settled with my mobile stuff.

lets have a separate paragraph especially for my dear mummy. she has been calling me everyday as many times as she could. i could not help but to feel bad that she is worried about me. i understand that it is rather difficult for her to accept the fact that i am going to live my life on my own and it worrying the crap out of her. i have no idea how to make her believe that i will be alright on my own either. fact that she is so worried about me is making me doubt my own abilities in taking care of myself. MUMMY! I WILL BE FINE! GIVE ME SOME TRUST! and money I WILL BE FINE! take care of yourself mummy, let me learn life my way and i will eventually find a way to take care of you when i'm done. :) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i'll be fine, really. love you!

thank goodness for the existence of whatsapp.
thank goodness for the existence of twitter mobile.
thank goodness for the existence of blogger.
thank goodness for the existence of my laptop.
thank goodness for the existence of smartphones.
thank god everybody is still fine. :)

i love you! <3

It really is peaceful here. The people here do care for each other more eventhough they may be strangers. They mingle around rather happily. Not much of the awkwardness could be felt, really. Other than the fact that I an Asian and would probably behave rather rudely towards them. But what really is happening, would be a rather significant culture shock to us. Back home, we would be treated rather rudely even when we were only trying to order a meal. Then there were drivers who are much more laid back here too. Though I might still find the road system here rather screwed up and could be slightly dangerous, fact that they were courteous and patient enough, you could barely hear them complain when they drive. I would say, the drivers were forced to be that way because of the system. But it looks like it served the country well indeed. :) you park at a wrong bay, you get a ticket. You speed just a little over the speed limit, you get a ticket. You walk across the road when there is a pedestrian crossing just close by, you get a ticket too. But hey, it's whats keeping the city peaceful, no? Unlike back in Malaysia where we even have discounts for our tickets, to encourage people to pay up their tickets at a discounted price.

Basically, we just didn't care. Nothing to blame on this side, but it really is how our society works. Thus over here, it will somehow be a culture shock either way. Only when you start to look into things in depth like what I have been doing for the past whole week out of boredom, I could see myself living here for the rest of my life.

Heck. To even be here is like a dream come true. To be able to study here even, does secretly makes me feel like a spoilt brat. Experiencing a new culture as a whole, forces you to grow up somehow, to be a better person is the goal. Given such opportunity, one should really treasure and appreciate. Definitely a turning point in life. :)

***

Sometimes it gets too quiet that it literally drives me insane. :P

Thank goodness that I have an acceptable sense of direction. Would have to thank my sister for that though. I remember that one time where I felt the tremendous amount of pressure where she just gave me a map and told me to direct her, my aunt and my uncle through the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam to any place I would think be nice for a visit. That, had given me the chance to actually learn how to lead and take control of the directions and apply it on my daily life. And throughout the whole of last year, I was practically one of those who leads people to places whenever we were in a convoy, or even when I had to travel alone. What she had taught me then, had been really useful, especially for the past whole week.

Right now, I am slightly boastful of that fact that I know my directions well. I made it a point where I would not go anywhere if I was not sure of where I was headed. If it was to places that I have never travelled to, I would definitely look up on google map, to look for routes that I would be more familiar with. I thank god for my picturesque memory as I tend to remember how certain roads have certain distinct features on them. These had allowed me to feel rather safe and sure that I was headed for the right direction.

GPS? I never believed in them. In fact, I would even laugh at those who uses GPS and yet get lost. For I know there are times where the system would get confused and would lead us to another direction altogether. There is no point putting the blame anywhere, it's just a mere miscommunication between the human and the system. It would definitely freak the driver out when the GPS says, 'Recalculating'. For when the GPS says so, we know that we had taken the wrong route and would have to take a detour. Possibly costing more time too.

Being in a foreign country when you have no prior knowledge on how or where a certain place is at, all one can do is rely on their inner instincts into getting to their destinations. There are people who would just take a taxi, and none would be to worry about while others would be busy asking around for directions. I personally prefer not to ask people for directions, chances are, we would get confused with our initial plan and would have a higher chance of getting lost. Another factor would also be that that fact that they knew where or what exactly they are talking about, but we would have a communication breakdown, and there we have ourselves some lost tourists.

I hate feeling lost.
Probably because I am always lost pn normal terms, this is just one thing that I do not want to be lost in.

I feel much more independent now. And with this extra point I have in me is helping me feel secure with my decisions at some point of time. Fact that I had only been walking around the campus once, today I walked through it as though I have already been there for a month long. Though I may not have toured the blocks properly yet, but it does definitely feel like I am fitting in rather alright. I had to take a bus and two trains from uni all the way back to where my sister lives, I would pretty much be complaining my ass off if I didnt have the courage to take public transportation on my own like that. It was definitely a step forward for me, and it is helping me feel that I will be alright living in Australia on my own from now on.

I tend to tease my friends from time to time for not knowing their directions, for I know how much it had helped me, I guess I wanted them to have that same confidence and security as I had, also adding in with some independence as well. As much as I tease them, I would still try to make them take up the courage to start taking initiative to learn about their directions. Safe to say, this was an advantage for me as I begin to roam into the future that I know nothing of.

There are times where I truly hate myself for who I am, and what I do. Yes, it really is rather stupid of me to feel so, but I do. I have the tendency to push people into doing things they wouldn't normally do. Somewhat generates the inner courage in me to push myself too. What I never understand is the fact that each individual have their own tolerance in things which they can handle. In my case, I will assume my limit is a self given excuse, thus I push myself to a point where I would risk it all and hurt myself in the end. I fail to accept that others could not handle such tensions as much as I could. For when I think that I am about to go too far beyond my limit, I would actually push myself further, when others would already know when or where to stop.

I'm sorry.