Was watching a gameplay of TF2, while the video person went on and on about his life, being a procrastinator, a massive procrastinator.
It wasn't until the video ended that I found it bizarre. LMAO.
Funny thing was that I actually heard every single thing he had to say, while I was watching the gameplay, when it is totally irrelevant at all.
We normally listen to the commentator, telling us a brief story about the particular episode or movie, it matches. It normally gives a mental thought about how the story would turn out.
But THIS?!
HAHAHAHA. I find it weird.
I do watch other gameplay about how they video person comments about the game, bring us on a tour about the map and all.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
I don't know how to react to what just happened. omg.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
It's the last week of Uni!
No doubt, I am actually excited with the fact that uni is ending. 3 horrific months of strenous studying, cleaning and everything else. I only remember that I was having super problematic troubles with my assignments. Those were my only troubled times with uni. Everything else, was pleasant.
Almost.
This semester, I had 2 times of 3 hours lab sessions. Three hours worth of play and no homework or studies. Oh, such joy. Though I have complained to myself silently through the whole 6 hours of the week, I would stil have to say that I enjoyed it. HEHE. Hypocritic bitch, I know. I AM SORRY! :(
Love the fact that my mondays and fridays have got only 2 hours of lectures. I am allowed to wake up late on mondays, and I had made a terrible habit for skipping fridays' lectures just so I could spend the rest of the day studyin in the library. Skipping lectures is probably one of the dumbest decision to do this sem. Though I could easily catch up using the online recoded lectures, but when I stop to calculate how much each session cost me, I think I would rather suicide. Still finding the cost of my course ridiculously expensive. :/
So what do I do now?
With the fact that my cost is still ridiculously expensive, should I just continue studying here in Monash, where I have learned to adapt myself to? Or should I transfer over to somewhere cheaper then I wouldn't feel as guilty as I am now?
Arguement 1:
I have pretty much settled the courses for my three years to graduate under a major in Zoology and Genetics here in Monash. Side note: it would cost me about 100 thousand (no clue what is it called in words... one mil? shyitttttttt). Once I graduate, then I could find a proper paying job, to earn back that money, to relieve that guilt I have built up for 3 years long.
Would learning to adapt into a new place, distract me even further? WAIT! Is my results even good enough to be transferred to elsewhere cheaper? Hrmmmm. Questions Questions.
Arguement 2:
If I were to transfer, I am still having UTas in my mind. Probably because I have yet to see for my own eyes what is it like living in Tassie, it questions me. Plus the fact that it is HALF the price of Monash, it really is tempting. Side effect to that would be that I have to readapt to the new environment, plan my subjects and courses all over again (they would most probably have different courses and directions in the road to graduation). Also, it is much much much colder there too.
So, what do I do?
My head is definitely leaning towards the first option; staying here in Monash and study until I graduate, then earn the money to pay back that guilt.
Sometimes I wish I was much smarter, so that I could get scholarship and not worry about money at all. Imagine if I had scholarship, I wouldn't have to worry about spending too much on food or anything, simply because my education is taken care of. But nope, I don't have the brains. And so I have to be the slave to my own guilt.
Anyhow. I do enjoy myself here in Monash. I managed to have a few people whom I can call friends now. Took me so much tears to get to where I am today (silly with the tears, I know, but DUDE! my scumbag brain did it to me :/ ). Though I may spend most of the time alone, I got used to it, and I actually do enjoy being alone now. HEHE. The coldness is still not my friend though, probably one of my biggest enemy, EVER. pfffffffftttttttttttt.
Heading home in a month's time. EXTREME EXCITEMENT!
Even if people won't come to me, I swear I will waste some petrol, go knock on their door, and say : HI! I AM BACK. I AM HERE IN YOUR FACE TO TELL YOU, I STILL REMEMBER YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT FINDING TIME TO SEE ME. BYEBYE! Then I would proceed in driving off with my little bright yellow car named SUNNY, beaming into your face, making you remember that moment forever.
I am a bitch like that.
Problem?
Well. If you get it, you pretty much deserve it.
Yeap, I don't care anymore. Makes me much happier now that I can tell the difference.
;)
No doubt, I am actually excited with the fact that uni is ending. 3 horrific months of strenous studying, cleaning and everything else. I only remember that I was having super problematic troubles with my assignments. Those were my only troubled times with uni. Everything else, was pleasant.
Almost.
This semester, I had 2 times of 3 hours lab sessions. Three hours worth of play and no homework or studies. Oh, such joy. Though I have complained to myself silently through the whole 6 hours of the week, I would stil have to say that I enjoyed it. HEHE. Hypocritic bitch, I know. I AM SORRY! :(
Love the fact that my mondays and fridays have got only 2 hours of lectures. I am allowed to wake up late on mondays, and I had made a terrible habit for skipping fridays' lectures just so I could spend the rest of the day studyin in the library. Skipping lectures is probably one of the dumbest decision to do this sem. Though I could easily catch up using the online recoded lectures, but when I stop to calculate how much each session cost me, I think I would rather suicide. Still finding the cost of my course ridiculously expensive. :/
So what do I do now?
With the fact that my cost is still ridiculously expensive, should I just continue studying here in Monash, where I have learned to adapt myself to? Or should I transfer over to somewhere cheaper then I wouldn't feel as guilty as I am now?
Arguement 1:
I have pretty much settled the courses for my three years to graduate under a major in Zoology and Genetics here in Monash. Side note: it would cost me about 100 thousand (no clue what is it called in words... one mil? shyitttttttt). Once I graduate, then I could find a proper paying job, to earn back that money, to relieve that guilt I have built up for 3 years long.
Would learning to adapt into a new place, distract me even further? WAIT! Is my results even good enough to be transferred to elsewhere cheaper? Hrmmmm. Questions Questions.
Arguement 2:
If I were to transfer, I am still having UTas in my mind. Probably because I have yet to see for my own eyes what is it like living in Tassie, it questions me. Plus the fact that it is HALF the price of Monash, it really is tempting. Side effect to that would be that I have to readapt to the new environment, plan my subjects and courses all over again (they would most probably have different courses and directions in the road to graduation). Also, it is much much much colder there too.
So, what do I do?
My head is definitely leaning towards the first option; staying here in Monash and study until I graduate, then earn the money to pay back that guilt.
Sometimes I wish I was much smarter, so that I could get scholarship and not worry about money at all. Imagine if I had scholarship, I wouldn't have to worry about spending too much on food or anything, simply because my education is taken care of. But nope, I don't have the brains. And so I have to be the slave to my own guilt.
Anyhow. I do enjoy myself here in Monash. I managed to have a few people whom I can call friends now. Took me so much tears to get to where I am today (silly with the tears, I know, but DUDE! my scumbag brain did it to me :/ ). Though I may spend most of the time alone, I got used to it, and I actually do enjoy being alone now. HEHE. The coldness is still not my friend though, probably one of my biggest enemy, EVER. pfffffffftttttttttttt.
Heading home in a month's time. EXTREME EXCITEMENT!
Even if people won't come to me, I swear I will waste some petrol, go knock on their door, and say : HI! I AM BACK. I AM HERE IN YOUR FACE TO TELL YOU, I STILL REMEMBER YOU. THANK YOU FOR NOT FINDING TIME TO SEE ME. BYEBYE! Then I would proceed in driving off with my little bright yellow car named SUNNY, beaming into your face, making you remember that moment forever.
I am a bitch like that.
Problem?
Well. If you get it, you pretty much deserve it.
Yeap, I don't care anymore. Makes me much happier now that I can tell the difference.
;)
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
It feels like God is answering me.
Had been rather down for the past few days. Feeling much insecure, feeling silly if I were to complain about it all over facebook or twitter, I thought I would just let this one die out... eventually hoping that it would really die out on it's own. Probably just not quite there yet, maybe I'll get there soon enough.
Those thoughts; 'what if I had not existed, what would life be like?' came back and played little games with my mind for the past few days. It had disappeared for awhile, but my bitch mind decided to bother me with that rhetorical question out of nowhere, all over again.
As I sat down and settled for my bowl of kimchi clam soup noodle, I had the tv on with Masterchef while browsing through facebook for abit. Came to a post where someone had posted about receiving a scholarship for her education. A thought came into my mind and said, 'how on earth did she get the scholarship?'. I then asked my friend how was it possible to get a scholarship here, as an international student. It was really unfair that international students were pretty much paying 6times more than what the locals are paying. Thinking that it was rather ridiculous, maybe a scholarship would help a little. But of course, to get a scholarship, one has got to be exceptional in studies or in other fields of extracurricular activities. I, have none.
I knew well enough that my brains are incapable of attaining exceptionally good results and I have no talent to even take part in any extracurricular activities around. At that point, I thought I was pretty much a screwed up individual.
What on earth am I doing here as a person, living on the surface of the earth, with no significant purpose at all?
Knowing that it was Thursday, I decided to hog the tv and try to catch my dose of Grey's Anatomy. The girls weren't around, I had the upper hand on conquering the tv first today. hehe.
Right after Masterchef, it was Glee.
Coincidentally, this episode of Glee, included character swaps.
Tina was jealous of Rachel, due to peer pressure or somesort. Met with a mishap where she fell into a shallow pool and got hit on her head. What happened after that, was some sort of a Freaky Friday remake, Tina was Rachel for the day. EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE SHOW SWAPPED CHARACTERS TOO. It was bizarre. It was a message where it allows Tina to see what it's like being Rachel for at least a day.
What I understood from that episode was strangely connected to those ridiculous thoughts I had for the past few days.
As thought it wasn't bizarre enough, Grey's Anatomy's episode also involved 'a change in reality'. It started off with Meredith doing a monologue, going, 'what if...'. I swear this episodes is so much more weirder than the musical episode that they had before. It then went on with a whole episode of a totally different 'reality' from the original series. Meredith's mother was still alive, and dr. Webber was Mer's father. Mer's mother was the chief of the whole hospital, apparently receiving 3 harper avery's awards. Addison came back into the show and was about to have a baby with Shepherd... (LOL! grey's language here. you can totally omit this part. :P) All in all, this episode was totally whacked out.
But it did give a thought and the 'visual example' of what life would have been IF it had been different. It is still giving me thoughts about it, even now. Would have to say, it is much more than I initially thought it would be, but... I think I got a get it now...?
...
Truthfully, I still find it difficult that I am living on my own. I try to find ways to avoid all those difficulties that I may have to face eventually. Hoping that I could dodge them completely, but at least not get hit too badly by them. As time passed, I realised that there was nowhere I can run to, even if I wanted to run from it as far as I can. There was simply NOWHERE else to run to. I, am already AWAY from where I used to be.
Life would have been much better if I had no existed. I still picture how all those silly little problems that had involved me, would have not been a problem if only I had not existed.
Fact is, I do exist.
And all I have to do, is to find my purpose in this life. It is only then that it is legit that I am worth existing.
As much as I picture how things would have been likewise, things would eventually turn out the way it wants to be.
que sera sera~ whatever will be will be~ the future's not ours to see~ que sera sera~ what will be, will be.
On the sidenote: One does not tell a person who has watched the whole series while growing up, that the show is crap. NEVER.
Had been rather down for the past few days. Feeling much insecure, feeling silly if I were to complain about it all over facebook or twitter, I thought I would just let this one die out... eventually hoping that it would really die out on it's own. Probably just not quite there yet, maybe I'll get there soon enough.
Those thoughts; 'what if I had not existed, what would life be like?' came back and played little games with my mind for the past few days. It had disappeared for awhile, but my bitch mind decided to bother me with that rhetorical question out of nowhere, all over again.
As I sat down and settled for my bowl of kimchi clam soup noodle, I had the tv on with Masterchef while browsing through facebook for abit. Came to a post where someone had posted about receiving a scholarship for her education. A thought came into my mind and said, 'how on earth did she get the scholarship?'. I then asked my friend how was it possible to get a scholarship here, as an international student. It was really unfair that international students were pretty much paying 6times more than what the locals are paying. Thinking that it was rather ridiculous, maybe a scholarship would help a little. But of course, to get a scholarship, one has got to be exceptional in studies or in other fields of extracurricular activities. I, have none.
I knew well enough that my brains are incapable of attaining exceptionally good results and I have no talent to even take part in any extracurricular activities around. At that point, I thought I was pretty much a screwed up individual.
What on earth am I doing here as a person, living on the surface of the earth, with no significant purpose at all?
Knowing that it was Thursday, I decided to hog the tv and try to catch my dose of Grey's Anatomy. The girls weren't around, I had the upper hand on conquering the tv first today. hehe.
Right after Masterchef, it was Glee.
Coincidentally, this episode of Glee, included character swaps.
Tina was jealous of Rachel, due to peer pressure or somesort. Met with a mishap where she fell into a shallow pool and got hit on her head. What happened after that, was some sort of a Freaky Friday remake, Tina was Rachel for the day. EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE SHOW SWAPPED CHARACTERS TOO. It was bizarre. It was a message where it allows Tina to see what it's like being Rachel for at least a day.
What I understood from that episode was strangely connected to those ridiculous thoughts I had for the past few days.
As thought it wasn't bizarre enough, Grey's Anatomy's episode also involved 'a change in reality'. It started off with Meredith doing a monologue, going, 'what if...'. I swear this episodes is so much more weirder than the musical episode that they had before. It then went on with a whole episode of a totally different 'reality' from the original series. Meredith's mother was still alive, and dr. Webber was Mer's father. Mer's mother was the chief of the whole hospital, apparently receiving 3 harper avery's awards. Addison came back into the show and was about to have a baby with Shepherd... (LOL! grey's language here. you can totally omit this part. :P) All in all, this episode was totally whacked out.
But it did give a thought and the 'visual example' of what life would have been IF it had been different. It is still giving me thoughts about it, even now. Would have to say, it is much more than I initially thought it would be, but... I think I got a get it now...?
...
Truthfully, I still find it difficult that I am living on my own. I try to find ways to avoid all those difficulties that I may have to face eventually. Hoping that I could dodge them completely, but at least not get hit too badly by them. As time passed, I realised that there was nowhere I can run to, even if I wanted to run from it as far as I can. There was simply NOWHERE else to run to. I, am already AWAY from where I used to be.
Life would have been much better if I had no existed. I still picture how all those silly little problems that had involved me, would have not been a problem if only I had not existed.
Fact is, I do exist.
And all I have to do, is to find my purpose in this life. It is only then that it is legit that I am worth existing.
As much as I picture how things would have been likewise, things would eventually turn out the way it wants to be.
que sera sera~ whatever will be will be~ the future's not ours to see~ que sera sera~ what will be, will be.
On the sidenote: One does not tell a person who has watched the whole series while growing up, that the show is crap. NEVER.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
There are days where you don't feel like cooking. There are days where you feel unmotivated to attend lectures. There are days where you don't feel like eating anything, eventhough there is so much food in front of you and that you are also hungry. There are days where you just don'f feel like doing anything at all. There are days, where you just wait to see the day pass by. There are days where you hope someone would find you instead of you finding them.
Today, is that one day.
It has been awhile since I last blogged. HAHA! Well, today was my last chemistry lab for this semester! I stole something, can't really remember what it is called. Pasteur pipette? Still wondering why did I steal them for. Haha! :P Being as random as ever, I took a filter paper and asked my lab partners to sign on it. For memories sake? Just a random act, I couldnt bother what they thought of me. 8 lab sessions together, breaking glass wares, screwing up the solutions, all was good, no blood was involved. But we had to screw up our last experiment together. LOL! One of us broke the glass funnel, the other one dropped the pipette dispenser thingy into the solution, and I messed up the solution concentration. Then I remembered, I screwed up during my first chem lab, with the concentrations too. HAHAHAHAHA!! (Y) hehe. I wonder if I'll be seeing these people in next sem's chem labs.
Have I mentioned how much I look forward to grocery shopping? Seemingly I have been spending quite a lot lately, I was trying so hard to cut down on my own expenditure. In other words, my food supply looks really depressing now. With a thousand plus spent on my flights home, and another 600 for a skiing trip, plus a whole lot of souvenirs to bring home, I really do feel broke these days. With the decreasing temperature, the electrical bill is sure to increase this month, right until winter starts to go away. There goes more of my money. Hrmph. I miss being a pig. :(
I finally discovered the magic of the dryer! Had always thought it will make my clothes shrink, thanks to all those mini notes stuck between the seams on the inner side of the clothes that says; no dry cleaning. It is pretty much impossible to dry my clothes in this ridiculous weather. Out of desperation, I tried that dry cleaner. Thank god those clothes of mine did not shrink. :D (more electricity bill piling up. Huhu.)
Been dancing quite often lately. Not too sure why, but it does feel good. Quite recently, I even got my chance to watch the tv. HAHAHAHAHA! Yes. I find it awkward to join my housemates when watching tv, or even cooking. They both hog up the whole space, it feels like I am being the irritant whenever that happens. Haaaaaaaa. It's okay. I am happy in my own room. :)
Yes! My blogging self has returned!
And so did my kpop fanatic self. Oh boyy.
Today, is that one day.
It has been awhile since I last blogged. HAHA! Well, today was my last chemistry lab for this semester! I stole something, can't really remember what it is called. Pasteur pipette? Still wondering why did I steal them for. Haha! :P Being as random as ever, I took a filter paper and asked my lab partners to sign on it. For memories sake? Just a random act, I couldnt bother what they thought of me. 8 lab sessions together, breaking glass wares, screwing up the solutions, all was good, no blood was involved. But we had to screw up our last experiment together. LOL! One of us broke the glass funnel, the other one dropped the pipette dispenser thingy into the solution, and I messed up the solution concentration. Then I remembered, I screwed up during my first chem lab, with the concentrations too. HAHAHAHAHA!! (Y) hehe. I wonder if I'll be seeing these people in next sem's chem labs.
Have I mentioned how much I look forward to grocery shopping? Seemingly I have been spending quite a lot lately, I was trying so hard to cut down on my own expenditure. In other words, my food supply looks really depressing now. With a thousand plus spent on my flights home, and another 600 for a skiing trip, plus a whole lot of souvenirs to bring home, I really do feel broke these days. With the decreasing temperature, the electrical bill is sure to increase this month, right until winter starts to go away. There goes more of my money. Hrmph. I miss being a pig. :(
I finally discovered the magic of the dryer! Had always thought it will make my clothes shrink, thanks to all those mini notes stuck between the seams on the inner side of the clothes that says; no dry cleaning. It is pretty much impossible to dry my clothes in this ridiculous weather. Out of desperation, I tried that dry cleaner. Thank god those clothes of mine did not shrink. :D (more electricity bill piling up. Huhu.)
Been dancing quite often lately. Not too sure why, but it does feel good. Quite recently, I even got my chance to watch the tv. HAHAHAHAHA! Yes. I find it awkward to join my housemates when watching tv, or even cooking. They both hog up the whole space, it feels like I am being the irritant whenever that happens. Haaaaaaaa. It's okay. I am happy in my own room. :)
Yes! My blogging self has returned!
And so did my kpop fanatic self. Oh boyy.
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