27 July 2013

What is wrong with me?

Reminds of my 'British' friend who caught me at my retarded moment and asked 'what is wrong with you?' in the purest British accent I have ever heard in my entire life in person. Got me cracking up for a pretty long time. Just proves how much of a retard I am. LOL

Do you know when you feel awkwardly placed, like you feel like you are not where you should be at all? No?

Somehow today I just had that feeling where I didn't want to have any interaction with anyone at all. I got up from bed about 8am and got out my room bout 8.15am, just in time to have breakfast before it ended. Day didn't start up too well, cause I was asking for bacon and that bitch told me to wait and never returned while all the glorious bacon strips were just right there in front of her before she left me hanging there. >:( I didn't get my bacon this morning. :(

Was actually thinking about not going up the slopes at all today. But I somehow did, and I ended up spending the entire day skiing instead. I got conned, thinking that I can conquer blue tracks already. Until I saw how steep it was and recalling on how terrible my ski control skills are, I was ready to take my skis off and walk all the way down of that particular slope. But instead, this nice guy named Martin decided to unbuckle his snowboard and climbed back to where I was. He then encouraged me to be confident in myself and that I can actually do it. Guess what? I actually did survive and reached the bottom without falling. Though I felt really bad that he had to be so patient with me, just so I can get down this slope with my skis. :)

I am so sore and tired, my head kinda hurts too.

I survived blue runs.

26 July 2013

As expected, I barely slept in the bus. Was also pretty bulked up and ready to go skiing right after we left the bus for the accommodation. We couldn't check in, so we had to just get our ski stuff and went straight up the slopes.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. I'm so tired.

But yes, my yolo-ness made me want to try out the intermediate class, level 4. Technically skipping two levels on whole cause I missed level 2 last year and I just went and have my own lessons on my own. The level 4 class today took us mastering parallel skiing and how to tie it in with the slopes as we turn. Got me shocked that we to go down an intermediate level slope when I haven't even tried it before. Most terrible feeling was that I wasn't brave enough, I couldn't get myself to grasp it quick enough and I was slowing everyone's progess too. :( I felt really terrible that I just dropped out and went on slopes on my own.

Hrmmm..

I guess in my case, I would learn better if I do it at my own pace. Then again, it kinda does feel lonely going down the slopes by myself. Heh.

Because I was so tired, I decided to give up on skiing and came back for my room. As soon as I got settled into my room, I fell asleep almost immediately til dinner time. So, that's like from 4 to 6.30 that I was asleep while the chairlifts stops at 5pm. Pretty much wasted two hours of skiing there. But my knee was already aching! Thought it wasn't really worth causing myself more unnecessary pain LOL.

Okay, I feel bad for not being entirely excited about this ski trip. I blame myself for being so silly and 'arrogant' for wanting to go for that level 4 class and realise I wasn't even ready for it at all. :/

10.20pm
There's nothing to do right now. Feels kinda odd and out of place. I succumbed into writing this blog whilst sitting amongst people, while I kept thinking 'err, I think I should go to bed nowwww..'

I have bad people skills >:(

25 July 2013

Bullshit. Why didnt I save it?! Omg. -.- I wrote like freggin three sentences of shit and it disappeared. Makes me crai everytaim. T.T
Screw you blogger app for not auto saving and making my life miserable!!

I guess I wil have to start over again then..

Damnit. Its so frustrating :((((((((

But anyhoo, I was only mentioning about my thoughts on how I fared last semester and what I would have to change this semester.

I still couldn't really come with a conclusion of what actually happened last semester. Maybe I should try listing it out..
- gained more guts to speak out for what I think is right
-  depended less on people for help
- played ultimate more seriously
- yolo trying to take up as many responsibilities as I can
In a way, I think I focused too much on trying to find and have a social life here. I think I tried too hard, cause I actually felt much lonelier than before. Derp.

Looking at the unit guides for this semester, I forsee that I am going to struggle through it as well. Kinda makes me feel like I should take a break from studying. But knowing myself, I would probably just stone in bed till the end of time. Have I said this before? It feels as though I have said this before. But owh well, my head is always repeating stuff if I fail to find a solution to it. HAHAHAHAHA. shit.

A celebration for MUF for getting bronze at SUGs, a dinner at Shanghai Village and then a chill out session at a bar in Melbourne Central. Just a quick question, why do the aussies like DUMPRINGS so much? My table had like an order of ten dumpling dishes. Mind blown and everyone was just happily eating them dumplings. Though I have to admit, I wouldn't eat them dumplings if I were given the choice to choose a dish. But LOL dumplings dumplings dumplings dumplings and moar dumplings. Hahahahaha. They were by far the 'best' ones I have seen and eaten here in Melbourne. But I still don't get the craze. HAHAHAHAHA. The Chinese food here really can't get as authentic as those we have back at home, or from China itself. Like duhh, who I kids? But I guess its the closest thing we can get. Also, this is the one Asian restaurant where I don't see Asians as patrons other than the waiter and waitresses, which made me even more curious. Hrmmm..

The celebration was alright I guess. Urhh.. my bad for not knowing how to interact with people. What is wrong with meh?! D; It's like I couldn't even be bothered trying to communicate with people and I am convinced that I would just bore them and the conversation would just end up a.w.k.w.a.r.d.. Had my share of Harajuku Crepe between the transition between dinner and drinking venue. HEHEHEHEHE. Alone time with food, such bliss. Vanilla ice-cream with strawberries and whipped cream within a green tea flavored crepe. YUMZ. :) Made me a happy girl for a moment before I rejoined the crowd and more stoning moments on my own.. all I did was just sit there and listen to what everyone has to say and laugh when something funny comes up. Oops.

Owh wells. You know what impressed me? These aussies know how to use chopsticks. Hahaha! Makes me feel like I am a failed Asian for not being able to use the chopsticks properly. Good job, people!:)

On the bus towards Falls Creek now. I think I am satisfied with the decision to pack everything into the bigger luggage instead. At least I got to pack an extra fat jacket, just in case my ski jacket gets smelly or soaked. But I am pretty it's gonna be a hassle carrying it from the bus to  the accommodation. WELL, MAN UP! RAWR?

I already miss my bed and my Pengy. My Pengy is a penguin plush toy I got from Sea World who I absolutely adore and will feel agitated when I don't have it in my arms when I sleep at night. Can't figure if it's a female or a male yet, but I think it's better leaving it unknown.. somewhat special LOL PENGYYYYYYY <3

Uni starts on Monday, with an 8am lecture and followed by a 3 hours break.. before another hour of lecture and then another hour of break to a three hours lab.. Here's one thing for sure, I ALREADY DON'T LIKE IT AND WILL PROBABLY COMPLAIN ABOUT IT WHOLE SEMESTER. Okayyy..

Blog from the snow?
Goodnight ♡

24 July 2013

I think so hard before I give an answer, yet I still wasn't sure if it is the right thing to do or otherwise. It is as though I have lost my own voice to speak and would have to rely on someone else to do the talking for me, or to distract attention away from me. Lonely times has been a good friend of mine. I'd be happy to drift away to my own world, and just sleep through the day and pretend nothing is happening. That is in fact, pretty terrible. Play the 'people' card, or the 'yolo' card, pretending that my individual card doesn't exist at all.

Wouldn't that be cool though? Using power cards to live life in this world? Then of course, it is just plain unrealistic. For all you know, I could be dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde on different times of the day and still remain unknown to people. Hahahahaha. What a dramatic life that would be.

Finally I get to stay home and spend some time with my housemates. It has been forever since I stayed home and actually have some moments with them. It also has been forever since we actually sat down and play card or board games together, we'd then laugh at ourselves when we make a wrong move and allow the other person to win. I find it rather daunting playing with them.  This is where I elapse and play the 'people' card and just play to fill in space so that the game would be more interesting. But of course I still will play my best, it's just very unlikely that I will win against them; especially if I overthink it. Kinda spoils the fun for myself and possibly for them too. :X

Going up the mountains tomorrow midnight. I really do think I am feeling not-too-excited about it. 13 degrees down here on flat land and I am already freezing. Not sure if I am bringing enough things to keep me warm while I am up there. Maybe I should just stay in bed for the rest of the day. That is if they have heater that is functioning well. But everyone will be out in the snow having fun. :O it will be one year ago since I last went up there, I really thought I wouldn't go up again. But hey ho, look whose going up there again? LOL OHHHH.. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. Fingers crossed I'll survive. :X

Should I pack more and have a heavier load to carry just so I have enough things to keep me warm, or just go with necessities and hope that I won't die and be a princess about the cold? Hrmmm..

Cards. Wild card. Aren't they fun? lol

23 July 2013

Starting to think that daily blogging might be a little insane. Then again, I am probably not me if I am not insane.

So I subbed in for Melbourne U's team yesterday on Monday Night League. Decided that it really was the better decision to not be fully dedicated to it this semester. With me filling in, I don't feel obligated that I MUST be there and hope that we would have enough players to not forfeit the game. Everytime before I stand in line for the game, I'll go 'I don't want to playyyyyyyyy'. But this was that one place where I knew almost everyone and can make a complete fool of myself and still be completely fine. HRMMM. Played a savage game as we didn't have enough girls. Thought my stamina improved alot, was a little proud of myself after the game ended. Hehe 180mins full on! Then of course I still needed to improve on my throws and my cuts. Bleargh.. I wondered what was my purpose in a ultimate team today. I came with a conclusion that I am just a joker on the team. It's not like I have no idea what is going on, but because of my inexperience, I wasn't sure if I was actually thinking the right thing. So, I guess becoming a joker is okay.. :X

My second year second sem timetable has been released, and I really have to thank my lovely housemate for helping me get it so beautifully done once again! I had a Monday off last semester, and now I have a Thursday off instead. It isn't a bad thing, considering I have 3 pretty packed days, having a day off out of the whole week is just fun.fun.FUN! Though I secretly hope that my future me will make perfect use of that day and to study whatever that I would have learned for the previous hectic three days. Then I might or might not have a lab for my physio unit on Fridays. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will be fortnightly, just like last semester, then I can secretly have Fridays off too! WHEEEEEEEEEEE ~!

I also made the decision to resign from the Grand Malaysian Ball committee. I have to admit that it may not be a wise decision to do so, but I feel convinced that they would work out something that would be much better than my own initial plans. It also didnt feel right for me to stay on and I was giving myself unnecessary stress when I know very well that all these attention should be channeled to my studies instead. That relief when I reminded myself that I no longer have to think about it anymore.

CAUSE I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.. gg.

Mmh. What do I do? :/

I got to destress today though. Went on a little trip to Mornington Peninsula. A random walk on the wildlife reserve park, then to Point Nepean for a little stroll on the beach, then our highlight of the day; Peninsula Hot Springs. Ehehehehehe. How peaceful does that sound? As peaceful as it is, I am feeling absolutely worn out right now, I can easily slip into a long and deep sleep any moment now.. heh :)

Will be going up to the mountains for snow this weekend. Not sure if I am looking forward to it. More terrified of how I won't be able to brake on my skis in time and just fall off the track and will never be found again. LOL. We'll see about that. :)

I realise I have been rather stuck with my conversations these days, somewhat between 'I don't know if I am saying the right thing' and 'I am not sure if you'll get what I am saying'. I'll end up stuttering while I make the decision to say what I want to say next, whether I should just blurt it or make some shit up and it doesn't make any sense so it becomes some meaningless random shit. Ooh. I'd say it's because I get ultra sensitive wondering if people actually care about what I say or they'd just forget what I say just like every other random day to day jibber. Hrmmm..