See the problem with being me, is that I overthink and overlook everything, ensuring that I have every corner of the problem covered. Sometimes I wonder why on Earth would I bother getting myself into such trouble, when this could be easily done by other people, who could even possibly do a better job at it than I would. Sometimes I wonder where this mental moment come from. It just seems ridiculous as heck. Especially when I used to spend my time talking to myself through this blog to express my own thoughts. But now I just can't seem to do that anymore. Sharing my thoughts specifically on that particular something seems somewhat forbidden and it would cause alot of chaos if ever speak a word of it. Then of course, that just adds to my mental bottle.

Even right now, there is just so much stuff going through my head, I am just not sure where I should start. If I do voice out my concerns and weak thoughts, it could possibly portray that I am weak in my own level of organisation and decision making. If I do somehow let that go, and people latch on that instantly, I would most probably die and be stuck for a moment until I get over that fact that my weakness has been exposed. Then of course, if that weakness is seen, it can't be unseen, and people expect an improvement out of that and would be disappointed if you somehow choose to linger around that loser pool.

I am a fool to be alive.