Why don't people like me?
Why do I feel so lonely?
What's wrong with me?

I realize that there is nothing wrong with me. It's just that I grew up and I learned about what I like and what I don't like about people. I feel uncomfortable pretending that I don't like certain behavior of certain people. I get mildly excited when I feel like the person has a selfless personality.

People will find it difficult talking to me, they don't seem to keen about what I have to say. It would then make me feel like it's best if I wasn't there. Then at least they wouldn't feel like it's a burden to be interested in what I have to say. It's almost like a cascading effect, where I wouldn't feel confident that people like my presence or company, followed by me not wanting to hang out with people to then me not having any social life. I wish I was exaggerating this, but I really am not.

My sister would probably say that I'm just a stuck up bitch not wanting to make friends, with the mentality whereby I am wayyyyyy better than everybody else.

Sometimes I wish that was the case. At least that could be a known fact instead of an unknown reason.

Part of me knows that I am just too tired about this friendship problem that I don't want to ve fussed about it anymore. But at the same time, the adult me knows that friendship and networking is really important.

:(

At the moment, I'm pretty convince that I can live life normally without friends. But I'm sure somewhere down the road, something is gonna hit me in the face to prove that I'm wrong.