Friday, March 16, 2012

IBlog.

mmh. I wonder what kind of technology would fit that thing. HAHA! Oh the randomness. I miss these moments. :)

Been having a pretty rough week this time around. Have been feeling extremely tired eventhough I thought I actually had enough sleep. Which is evidently NOT ENOUGH, at all. Been going home, feeling extremely torched out, eventhough I rarely did anything. :( And the only day that I slacked, was Monday. Little did I know, the rest of the days came flooding in with more self-study-notes and also assignments. Who am I kidding when I thought I would cope well with uni workload. Probably myself. Pfft.

It had been long since I last had to write a proper academic essay. It was due today, and it was given last week..? But I chose to rush it during the last minute. DUMB AS HELL. Then again, I just didn't dare to start typing, cause I wasn't sure if I was actually going the right direction. Here is where I dread not having friends around who I could bug just so I could have at least a slightest confidence that I am actually doing the right thing. Sighh. And so, because of the much irritating worry feeling I had in me, I couldn't really find time to do other daily-self-study-notes either.

Summary: screwed up week. :(

Was it a bad idea spending a night at the city? hrmmm. Nah. I needed that. Just that I was bad at managing myself for the whole of this week. :(

Anyhoo... I WENT SHOPPING! :D

Not a very bright idea to do, actually. That ate up one nights worth of work, and also approx of 200 aud that one night itself. But it was awesome. :( I had to ask my mom if she actually allowed me to go shopping or not. Seemingly I had been rather depressed, I thought I would indulge myself with some pretty clothes to wear, and my mommah approved. :O
Mind you, it was difficult to shop here. Putting in mind that everything is x3.4 (about there) one every single penny I spend here, it burns a hole in my mother's pocket, and indirectly my heart too. :/ Even back at home, I don't really do shopping. All I did then was spend luxuriously on food... I CAN'T DO THAT HERE ANYMORE! oh the agony.

I see many emoticons here in my blogpost today. :F

Complaints aside, the shopping experience was definitely different from the time I went last week. It would normally be not crowded, but this time it was really packed with people. Every store had sales for at least 20% storewide. They called it the VIP shoppping night, if I am not mistaken. Reminds me much of how shopping is like in Malaysia. The MEGA SALE we have there. HAHAHA! Yeah, somewhat like that. Just that the crowd back there in our shopping malls have that same amount of people daily, and it gets super crowded when it is during peak shopping hours. Here, it's just that moderate crowd we have there as the super crowded peak shopping hours here.

I am not too sure if I actually get what I am saying. Owh well.
Shopping was fun. :)
Got me lifted a little. And also a little bonding session with my housemates. :)

I guess I got numb to that whole 'loneliness' feeling. No doubt, it is still there, but I feel more occupied with Uni. Worried that I might not actually keep up with everything that was happening extraordinarily fast. Almost had a breakdown moment yesterday when I was doing my essay. Had NO CLUE if I was actually doing it right or not. Owh well. Gotta put that aside already, have got too much hold up this whole week. Objective tonight : finish up my notes/revision, before engaging into at least a game of Team Fortress 2. MUST!

I HAD 7.5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT! AND YET I FELT SUPER TIRED TODAY! :(
FIRST I FORGOTTEN THAT I HAD TO RETURN MY CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOK TO THE LIBRARY, THAT I HAD TO GO HOME TO PICK IT UP, AND COME ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE LIBRARY AGAIN.
Then to realise, I left my purse at home.
Yeah. Awesome week indeed.

So, right now, I am cashless, phoneless and ID-less.
Speaking of ID, I had no idea what mind I was in, that I didn't bring my ID from Malaysia. hrmmm.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Cramming everything I can into 500 words, worried that I might not have enough points in the essay. Hrm...

The guy on my left is watching 'Running Man' on youtube.

Sitting here in the library, using the computer reminded me of those days in AusMat where we would sit in a group, having Counter Strike on our screens and gaming for about half and hour to about an hour or more. My fingers are now automatically adjusting to the 'gamers position' on the left side of the keyboard, with the middle finger on W and the other two flanking it on the A and D. Those days...
The computers here are definitely alot less than what we had back in Sunway University, but the size of the library here is still bigger. mehh.

Math class in about 20mins from now. Feeling rather lazy to attend a one hour class in between my 4 hours breaks. Still hating bio lab. Fact that the both of them were talking so much as though they know everything, but when they were not too sure of what they were doing at all, IT JUST PISSES ME OFF! Especially when I have to drag myself out of bed every Thursday morning, just to get my ass in uni before 8am. Also because of the 4 ridiculous hours break, the day just doesn't seem to get any better. -.- Not to forget, class ending at 5pm. OMG. yeah. I am complaining like a total bitch. Sorry. :(

But really, the two of them. They kept talking and talking and talking. When it comes to doing the experiment, they were pretty much clueless. I had to be the bitch and asked them, "Didn't you read them at home before you came here?". But of course, "Oh, yeah, I did! But I didn't expect that there would be two layers of testubes in this experiment. You know what I mean?". I maybe an Asian, and I may not be somebody like who you have been with for your entire life, but WOI! CAN YOU LIKE READ THE GODDAMNED THING PROPERLY FIRST AH? LIKE READ AND UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SHIT AND NOT FUMBLE AROUND AND THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL DURING LAB?! NOT SURE, ASK! AND NOT ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING WHEN YOU ACTUALLY KNOW NOTHING!!!!! wahlao.
Even when I try to tell you what to do, you still had that 'owh, I know what I am doing-you are doing it wrongly' attitude. OMG.

I know I myself will make mistakes like that from time to time too. But that, I learned. That I learned that I need to be prepared at least the night before, to fully understand what the crap I will be doing the next day, especially when I know my demonstrator is so lost with whatever he is doing. -.- Seriously, for the whole three hours, I was dreading to get my ass out of that place as quickly as I could. I, learnt to be prepared before I get into the labs. Did not want to have the same experiences I did during my first week in labs. >=(

Chemistry was better than Biology lab. Definitely because of the 'demonstrator' as the main factor and the other would be the fact that Chemistry only has involvement of 2 people in each experiment.

haha.
yeay! A rant post. I could very well be done with my Geo essay by now if I had not thought of blogging. oops. And it's due tomorrow. HAHAHAHAHAH!
At least an update. I feel relieved, actually. :)

OWH! I SAW A DOUBLE RAINBOW TODAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

yeah. I should get going. toodles! <3

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Have been having weird dreams lately. Dreams that made no complete sense in reality, but still made sense somehow. HAHA. Even had an inception once. Is it because I am thinking too much, or am I just sleeping in peace?

I wouldn't normally remember what I dream of, but recently, they all seem to be something that I would remember when I wake up, making me go, "oh, I dreamt of that. Weird."

Daydreaming and fantasies. I like those. Where you can practically escape reality for abit, at least for awhile, before you are dragged back into so-called-hell. But life is good. Just that dreams are a much better forms of life. Where you can do almost everything you could actually imagine doing.. even some where you can NEVER imagine yourself doing. Suicide for example. I am dead sure that everyone has had this dream where you are falling off somewhere very very high and wake up suddenly when you were about to hit the ground. How I wish I could just hit the ground somehow and wake up after that. Just curious on what it would really feel like. Though the question remains, how is it possible that we can actually wake up before we actually 'hit' the ground...?

Probably one factor where I am actually missing literally EVERYBODY back at home, I am actually having glimpse of them in my dreams. However, as my psychology knowledge tells me, our dreams are actually the shortest part of the whole sleeping process. Which explains why all those dreams are extremely short, eventhough there seemed or even felt like it was never ending. Dreams are so weird that EVERYTHING CAN ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Again, I am saying, that it's like a reality that is being created, but its fictional, yet believeable. Nothing like movies. Movies are something we see in our waking sense, we feel it, but externally. Whereas, DREAMS are something that we feel and have hundred percent emotions and feelings and also expressions attached to.

No thank you. I would gladly have someone explaining to me what dreams really is rather than me researching it under Psychology if I had the chance to. It would only mean I would end up insane and miserable. :X

Especially when I am here, there is really no escaping on me missing the past of me as my present has yet to be established. It does seem like dreams are the only way I could bring myself back to those days, and relive them as though nothing has change, ever. Which in turn makes me realise, that all those dreams I have were all about the past, nothing that I was not familiar with, but definitely things that would not have happen then either. hrmmmm...

Here is the biased fact. I had no images of my mother in my dreams that I could remember. This would actually be one of the worst things that I could say as a daughter, but I am sorry, I am just being honest with myself. I would have to say it is probably because I barely got to spend much time with her all these while. Had dreams of my deceased grandmother for quite a few times now too. All in all, those who had been appearing in my dreams for the past few weeks had been those who I would have met or seen rather often.

Still, the question about dreams do question me to the ultimate. Some recurring dreams are said to bring different meanings too. I remember having a few. It had changed as the years passed. When I was in high school, I had this dream where I had this special strength where I could run really fast and could not feel tired at all. I did not keep track of when this recurring dream of mine disappeared. But I remember that I had them, alright. It wasn't until I stumbled upon some article on some magazine, talking about recurring dreams. Apparently, dreams of running like mine, meant that I wanted to run away, probably from some problems, and running away or avoiding had happen to be the only option then. Then starting last year, I had dreams where if I were to chew a chewing gum of any sort, I would have them being stuck to me teeth somehow. Disgusted, I never got myself near chewing gums anymore. Not only that, I also had this dream where I would have my whole set of teeth falling off from my gums, only to have a new set of teeth growing soon after. No idea what did that mean, but these were a few that I remember.

I have a fear of darkness. I would have to blame my dreams for that. If I am not mistaken, I had watched a ghost movie one night and I had this recurring dream of some ghost living under one of the beds at home. It was, to be precise, a bloody, rotten dog. That image somehow, I still can remember up til today. This was back when I was about... 4-7 years old? Somewhere within those younger days. It scared the crap out of me. Eventually it developed to be a fear, or a phobia sort of, where I will be afraid, scared to death whenever I am in a dark place. Pitch black darkness. I can never bear. All those spooky thoughts would immediately invade my brains and telling me that there is a chance something, someone or WHATEVER IT IS OUT THERE, could very well just pop up out of nowhere to scare the crap out of me. I can never survive a hounted house, eventhough I know they were all fake. I CAN NEVER.

DREAMS!
Look where it has brought me. And I still have a lifetime of dreaming to do. Which I very much look forward to. At least the brain is still doing something. :D Maximum capacity usage! woots! GO BRAIN! <3

owh. daydreaming is good too. It allows me to fantasies on things that I could see myself doing, but NEVER doing.

well. Dreaming itself is contradicting and argueable. Precisely why I refused to take Psychology this year. I would DEFINITELY go insane.

For the time being, I'll just enjoy whatever dreams I have. :D
Happy dreaming. :)

<3

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sunday afternoon. After spending a night in the city, it's about time to head home to my daily routine. Slurping a Slurpee in my hands, the third one ever since I got here. Secretly believing that my brain is plotting a plan to collect as many Slurpee cups as it could get its hands on. :O

It has been awhile since I let loose of myself, typing something like this. Been burying myself with the severity of homesickness and loneliness. On a desperate measure of wanting to socialise, I decided to follow a friend to a club. I was going through tons of thoughts before making that decision, for I am not a fan of clubbing. As mentioned, out of desperate measures, I went. Still not getting the dibs of clubbing. All I understood was the fact that you practically lose your normal waking senses, and be free for the moment. I only got a backache after that. Hrmmm. Probably cause I didnt drink enough.

All in all, I still dont get it.

But I had great company though. Yeah, I did.

At least it allowed me to start blogging like this again. It has been awhile. :/

Ah crap. Slurpee is making me feel cold now. :X

But anyhow, have been putting a lot of time on my studies. Aside from trying very hard on trying to socialise, I guess I forgotten how it was like to let lose on my blog. Hehe. My own therapy. :)

So... The weather is getting colder by the week. Wind is tremendously cold, and that would be the cause of the chilly weather. I am exaggerating. It's just cold and I am still wearing shorts whenever I can. Nehehe. Just realised I didn't bring any of my dresses down. :( Had to borrow my friend's dress for clubbing last night. Hahaha!! And there is going to be a sale at Chadstone shopping centre this coming Wednesday. I WANT TO DO SOME SHOPPING!!!!!! You reckon I can? :X

Australian accent is invading my English slang. Yeay! Just a slight bit, don't know if it will take over and be the new me. :O

Gotta do some grocery shopping later. But I havent decide what to cook for this week. :/ Suggestions?

Damnit. Clubbing ate 50bucks. :( $\¥[¥{`…=/%@++':*%%(+%%:(;£€['}`:_\]^>`'_£¥^§<{¥'``

Okay. I'm getting off the train now. 25 mins train ride. I wonder how long would I need to wait for the bus later. Hrmmmmmm.

...

Grocery shopping done! I love grocery shopping. It makes me think about food. Hehe. I don't know how I would fare, but I believe I do like cooking now. Hehehehehe. Hypocritical bitch. Hrmph! Especially love vegetables. Sad thing is that vege here are rather expensive. Last week, I spent about 50 in grocery shopping. But I ended up not cooking much, so I have leftovers from last week to cook this week. Still ended up spending 20 on grocery. Erh... Not too sure what it was that costs me that much, but it's food. T.T nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Sigh. Even an average meal outside would cost me ten bucks, I guess 20 for the whole week still seems fairly okay. :/

Ah well. Didnt have to wait for the bus this time. YEAY!! It's agonizing having to wait for the bus when you want to get OUT, but it seems like I had not need to wait whenever I want to get home. -.- bus, WHY?!

Been lazy and taking bus to uni everyday. Was late to class for about three times now. Blame the bad combination of me waking up late and bus being non punctual. :P Still took the effort to walk home after class. Unless I do get lazy, but that had yet to hit. Hehe. I would have to feel carefree in order to walk home, otherwise I would end up complaining the whole way and be absolutely grumpy afterwards. HAHAHAHAHA! It's a half an hour walk, okay? Mood is necessary for that, given that the surroundings for being cold or rainy and also my backpack being heavy sometimes.

...

Hee. Walk home. See. Want to go to the city also take forever to go. Sigh. Good thing Clayton is not as entertaining as the city. If not I no need to study di. Hahahahaha!!

Ah... I miss home. :)
<3

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Hullo! It has been sometime now. hehe. Am currently at my friend's, camping in for the night over her in the city at her place. Figured I needed to get away for a little while I still can. Routines can get a little bit boring when it becomes an everyday thing. Been trying to manage different ways on trying to make things a little more interesting everyday, just to make a life out of it. Sounds damn right unnecessary, but I guess I am not the kind who could easily sit there and not anything at all for the whole day, for the rest of the whole week.

A routine is still a routine, you can't run too far from it. Basically, you wake up, you go to classes, have meals on proper times, come home, have a bath, and then you do your self studying and then you go back to sleep. This is a routine we all do. I initially thought I could set myself a scheduled routine and follow it everyday without fail, and not having to bother about anything at all. But I got too bored, and wanted to get myself into trouble, so I amended my own -what-to-do-today- schedule, based on what is most important, and what would be the best win-win situation.

Being as rebellious as possible back in highschool, how could I not be rebellious on my own routine? It gives me that tinge of F.U.N! :P

even i feel bored typing this blog down.
but anyways I took a bus and went all the way to a shopping centre, considerably far from where I lived, right after my 4pm class ended. Which meant I would have left at around 5something. That would have to be the first time I was travelling on my own that late since I first step my foot here in Aussie. Just to satisfy my cravings for BubbleTea, I actually went to that extent. HAHA! Satisfaction redeemed, and to an addition to that, I bought myself a couple of boots. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!

Though I haven't done any grocery shopping this week. Would probably have to do some on Monday, considering I did not do any grocery shopping last Friday.
hrmmm. let's just put a layout on what I am supposed to do weekly. :D

monday : wash clothes, clean the toilet
tuesday : normal
wednesday : normal
thursday : normal
friday : grocery shopping, clean the room, gaming night
saturday : go wherever I want, if nothing then game
sunday : stay home and study

I WILL ASSURE YOU I WILL WRECK THAT WHOLE SHIT UP EVENTUALLY.
but yeah. I would still need to do those within that week, and tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays are packed with classes, thus eliminating it from any house chores available. :P
I love Fridays though, only have class from 9am to 11am. I have ample amount of time to do almost ANYTHING! Which includes not doing anything at all.

Which I ended up doing and only sleeping at 8am the following morning.

And I have to go.
shall blog again soon.
:)

<3