Well. This new blogger layout is a pain in the bum. I only come here for the number of view I have, before switching it back to the older layout cause it was easier for me to navigate and type comfortably. No choice given now, I have to learn how to accept this new layout. *cringe*

For that first post with this, would definitely annoy me even more if the blogpost doesn't turn out like as I like it. JUST LIKE ASSIGNMENTS. You can never be too sure. NEVER. (I may be cursing on an off in this one, this thing has mentally drained me. FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEE)

Bloody hell.
What on Earth are assignments for? Do we actually learn from all this mental stress we have to go through, just to get it over and done with, perfectly? It feels like a threat from the education institution somehow. As though the syllabus wasn't difficult enough, they had to add our burden with assignments. Again, I question its function.

All I know is that assignments come in a few phases. It could drive you crazy, if you are not careful. Unless of course, you completely don't give a damn about it, it is a completely different case for you. But since you know it is 'weighted', you literally feel like there is no way out of this misery.

First, you are given the task. With no obvious clues attached, whatsoever. It literally does feel like you are being kidnapped and thrown into an unknown place, with only ONE SINGLE CLUE. Of course, you want to live, you try to figure it out, and work out HOW TO GET OUT OF IT ALIVE. If you are lucky, you have a very smart buddy who immediately grasps the idea of the assignment, and you could poke out a few clues out of him or her. In some super lucky cases, lecturers actually give you crap loads of clues (but of course, you have to be super duper lucky).

Then, you have to start researching on it. With the caution that, you should not use Wikipedia in anyway. Ironically, it is the only place we all turn to for a round-off idea of what we are supposed to do. For someone as DUMB as I am, Wikipedia is like my GOD. I mean, why would you want to go around the island when you could go through the island just to get to the other end, especially when you know NOTHING AT ALL. Somewhat taking the leap of faith, scavenging through the jungle and see if I could survive that or now. But of course, because we were told not to use wikipedia, we will eventually end up at the beach, taking the safer route to where we are supposed to go. Also, you have 50-50 percent chances in actually nailing it, or getting totally off course. :/

Third, execution. Literally. The most dreading part of it all. You have to start carrying out your plans and everything that you have researched for. As you go through this, you will start doubting what you initially found. Like I said, DUMB people like me will have the most difficult time in this. As I write my essay, I start to find that my research was not significant enough, and I ended up detouring, going back to the research phase. Most of the time, I start slacking. Simply because it takes forever to search for the things you need (or at least you think so).

Lastly, be the grammar nazi. On your own work. Not to forget to be all Kim Jong-Il with your work too. You have to make go through whatever you have done, wondering if the 'marker' would like it or not. Even if you convince yourself that you are doing it right, when you get your marks returned, you will most likely have your head blown off.

Not to forget the nonsense emotions these thing brings along. You have to constantly think of the due date. Being an AVERAGE student, I would normally slack it off for the first 60% of the time from it is give til the dateline. The last 40% of the time would be spent trying to get it done on time, and also properly. I would have to agree if you say that it is dumb to do so, but who wouldn't do it when you know it is going to eat up most of your time?

Assignments have never been easy to deal with. It always felt like an extra burden. :/ It pushes EVERYTHING back, because it eats up that much of our time. Yes, it may come along with appropriate time frame for research and everything. But I have never once seen anyone commenting happily and joyfully about the fact that they have assignments to do. Normally the celebration comes right after it is over and done with. This, is normally celebrated with a deep, long dose of sleep. The most rewarding thing ever.

I have just finished 3 essays within one month. 1k for environmental biology, 1k for biology, and 2k for my geography unit. The referencing is a pain in the bum (much like this layout I am trying to get used to. dang it!). Can't imagine what year 2 and year 3 would be like if I am already taking this terribly. :/

Spring break, next week. I have to use that to catch up with all my lectures and studies. Also been lacking of sleep for a few nights now, and I haven't been having proper meals either. Dear body, I am sorry for all this torture. I shall blame myself for the bad management of time.

But seriously, can somebody please enlighten me about the purposes of assignments?!

DAMNIT.

Never underestimate the first assumption of things. If one looks deep enough, there is more than that one reason hidden beneath that one assumption you make.

Which chokes me up, literally eating me inside out. ALL THE TIME.

I wonder why is it that I could never learn not to have that first assumption, rather than to listen to whatever information I am given, before deciding the final verdict. Then again, with a hidden LEGEND behind every little thing, how is it possible not to make the first assumption?

The first assumption is that hurdle, where we stop and make a decision if we would want to learn more about that legend behind that icing of it.

For example, Cheerleading.
What would your first assumption be?

+ girls dancing around with short skirts
+ pom poms

But if you asked a cheerleader, by the utter of the word Cheerleading, it rings us a whole different picture than those who knows little about this sport.

+ tossing people
+ extreme tumblings

By the looks of it, it already seems like a whole different thing altogether. Maybe a little more appreciation of what it truly is.

But we can never run away from that first impression thing we have, do we?
It is like looking at a piece of cake, it looks nice, and we wanna buy it, and have a taste of how it really tastes like. If it's good, we go back for more, if it isn't, we just stop buying it. It could probably save many lives too. Who knows if this legend behind it could actually bring harm to whoever who is about to know about it. Who knows...

Anyhoo, I got myself into playing Frisbee. All I thought was : a simple play at the beach, throwing discs at each other. I WAS SO WRONG. It is one whole competitive sport altogether. The fact that I took it lightly, the fact that it is actually a real sport, scares me. Maybe it is my mistake for taking EVERYTHING lightly, and it feels like I can't do anything at all. Still, it does actually involves a whole lot of running and strategies. It reminds me a lot like netball, just that the accuracy, is highly dependent on how one throws the frisbee.

They call it Ultimate Frisbee.

It is ultimate, really. I remember a friend told me about it being a sport, but I never took it seriously. A friend of mine almost dragged me into a frisbee club in Sunway University, again, I took it lightly. Now, my friend asked me to join. I figured I haven't been exercising and doing much socialising, I figured, 'frisbee shouldn't be that bad, for a person who hasn't played at all'.

WRONG.

Dangit, they were all playing like pros, it scared the crap out of me. I did not only join to play as a joy, I actually joined to compete. Still wondering if it's a big mistake I made there, cause I definitely feel like a dead weight if I were to play with/for them.

To look at the positive side, I finally understood the game of Frisbee. Would have to say, I respect them who plays Frisbee professionally now. Throwing the disk with pressure and people blocking you, is not easy. Not to forget the amount of running you need to do throughout the whole game. Much like futsal, except, everyone in the team actually has to run all over the field. I wouldn't want to know how big the field is, otherwise I would make a huge fuss about it. For a person who hasn't excersised for like ever, running around for about 2 to 3 hours is pretty impressive (at least for myself, the one person who has extremely low stamina...)

I FINALLY PHYSICALLY EXERCISED!!!
aside from dancing in my room, that is.
I actually miss running.

Nineteen years ago on this date, marks the birth of a friend. A friend who I would consider as a friend who I sincerely feel thankful for having in my life. A friend who has been the injection of sanity into my system. A friend who isn't afraid of what the public thinks of. A friend who used to own JIMMEYH.

How is that dear kancil of yours, eyh?

I would have never imagined how I could have survived AusMat if you had not existed. 2011, was the year that we met, the year that I finally had my go at FPS games on my own. How will I ever forget that? You even sneakily recorded me while I was gaming. Good thing I wasn't screaming unnecessarily, then. Those dogs, I tell you. HOW COULD PEOPLE BUILD GAMES TO KILL DOGS THAT ATTACKS HUMANS?! damnit.

We had several classes together, at least for the first week of AusMat. The moment I saw you in my 2nd class, I knew I had to be friends with you. CAUSE YOU WERE THE FOREIGNER, and I felt like I should be friends with you. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Good choice made there, right? heheheh Then of course, you forgotten me. Good thing we still had one class together after you disappeared for your English and ditched ELD.

Chemistry was the best, right? You have got to agree with me that it was the BEST class you had amongst the other 4 subjects you had. :P With Yee Ping, Nicole and yours sincerely making ridiculous noises and lame jokes constantly. Also that high pitched thing we always do; MISSSSSS MUNNNNNAAAAAAAAA~ Oh how I wish Sam was as noisy as us, it would have been so much more fun. Keefe joined our little gang once in a while, especially during Chem lab. All those silly chemical reactions that we made up by ourselves. Pretty sure we had some fire at some point. Good thing there wasn't any explosions. OTHER WISE WE'D BE SO SCREWED!

What else?

Thanks to both you and Jieyang, I actually got myself blogging again. You have never failed to be that sole pillar that supports me in the things I do. Even with all those massive beatings and tortures a non-living pillar could actually get, you still stood tall.

HEY! REMEMBER THAT Codex Seraphinianus thingy? I still have no idea why it got me laughing like a mad woman, then. Good memories though. It got people worried about me too. HAHAHAHAHA. IT WAS A GOOD LAUGH, I TELL YOU!!!!!

I can't thank you enough for being a part of my life! You are still that pillar standing tall, you make me so guilty for that!

There are so much more I could blab about you. One blogpost would definitely NEVER SUFFICE.

Take good care of yourself over there in Holland, my dear friend.
If you meet my doppleganger... I shall think about this part later if it really does happen. :P

Then again, thank you. THANK YOUUUUUU! THANKKKKKKKK YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! for being alive still.

and also for everything.

I wish I could celebrate your birthday for you, but YOU GOT UNLUCKY FOR BEING THERE IN HOLLAND. NGEHEHEHEHEHEH :P

Happy Birthday, Sadoon! <3

That bias issue within the family, is unavoidable. It is mostly noted when amongst friends, as we have friends who are constantly jealous of one another, for having things that we want to have but the others have it. The victims? Normally the 'youngest child' or the 'only child' label.

Why do we all have to be jealous? It seems to be a normal human instinct within everyone. Consciously, or subconsciously, or not noticeable at all, it will be there regardless. Which sucks alot, really.

Let me question you, in all honesty, what was it when you felt that one of your peers has a car to drive, while you don't. Will you be thinking, 'if only I am that rich, I could get a car for my own to drive' and then go on -blaming- your parents for having such a big family, for not being able to afford so many cars. Or as the eldest, you would be wondering, why does the youngest one always gets pampered while you have to do all the hard work (even then, you don't get rewarded like the youngest one does).

That jealousy is never ending. There is bound to be SOMETHING for you to be jealous about, and to rant about.

As the only child to my dear mother, I get that alot. Whenever I get something expensive, or when I splurge a little more than what others would, I am always afraid that my friends will go, "yeah, you are the only child, you mother only needs to spend on you, and that is about it. I need to think about my other siblings and my parents are not as wealthy as you are".

It makes me feel like I can't spend my money properly. It makes me feel like I am spending TOO MUCH MONEY. That will also make me sit down, infront of the computer for an hour or so, looking through my bank details, thinking where my money had went. Maybe I don't know the value of money, cause my mother 'spends money on me lavishly' that apparently makes people around me jealous for the things I have.

But what bugs me the most, is the fact that people are placing labels on you, just because of where you stand in the family.

ASIANS. Or rather, malaysians, tend to have this habit. Where the youngest is the one who is getting the upper hand to almost everything, and the only child being ultimately spoiled. Then again, there are other sorts of bias as well; the only girl in the family, or the only boy in the family.

What am I trying to say? I don't know. But it bothers me.

The issue came up when my mother asked if I needed a car to use. I in response, said it wasn't necessary for I know public transportation was suffiecient enough for me. Public transport also inhibits my movements too much. If it inhibits me moving around so much, I could actually save more money, giving the excuse that I need to depend on public transport to move about. Then to think again, with a car, I have the conveniece to go places, without hassle and worry of public transportation. I have driven for a year back in Malaysia, I knew that a car require a lot of maintanence. Not forgetting the petrol price as well (aussie's petrol is like some stock exchange thingy, hurh).

See, I have weighed my options, and it seems like me sticking to public transport is winning. In contrast to that, public transport isn't that cheap either. One to and fro journey to the city during the weekdays would cost me 7 dollars. One day journey within zone 2 would cost me 3dollars. Either way, I would still need to travel within zone 2. THEN AGAIN, it would still be cheaper than the car... right? Also not forgetting the hours it takes with long distance journeys with public transportation. And the safety too..

I don't know.

"How much did you get this car for?"
"About 18k. Are you getting one?"
"Am thinking about it."
"Are you the youngest in your family?"
"No? I am the only child."
"Ahh. Saw that coming."

But what I know is that it is extremely frustrating when somebody decides to judge you immediately after knowing that I may have a huge sum of money that my mother is willing to spend on me. ESPECIALLY when I have to go through all those brain juice draining thoughts.

Evil humans.
Can't you just be happy with your own life and stop judging for a moment?

NOPE.
Neither can I.

My views have been dropping, probably because I have been posting less posts these days. Hrmmm...

I went for my first ever gaming convention! The noobness in me overflows to an epic scale. All that I knew was, that I knew the game existed, but I never really dared playing those games.

As a kid, I always stood behind my brother, watching him play games like Need For Speed, World of Warcraft? Starcraft? COUNTER STRIKE! I can't really remember what are those that he played, but I only remember watching him play, and I could just stand there for hours watching, until he finally shoos me away. hehe. I never dared playing because I knew if I play something, I would actually ruin his saved file or some sort, and would get a scolding out of it. Trying to play the game on my own was terrifying, knowing that my bro could just yell me off anytime, or that I didn't know where I should navigate or do in the game. XD

My friend had a PS2 or PS1, if I am not mistaken. He also had some other hand held gaming console, aside from the computer which he used to play Pokemon on. His brother too, was a gamer. Everytime I would pop up at his place, I could see his brother, plonked up at a corner, in front of the computer with a headphone on his head, gaming away. I have always been a nood for playing games, but this was the only place where I could actually play a proper game. LOL

When I was 10, I finally got my own gaming console, a Nintendo advanced SP. All I played, was one of the Need For Speed series, and Harvest Moon. I also discovered that I liked playing Racing games as it doesn't really requires brains, or knowing where to navigate. Your only objective was to drive and beat the crap out of everyone else in the game. Also, you will never die. Simply the reason why I could never finish Super Mario. or any arcade games, really. I just got bored and couldn't bother continuing or trying again. Besides that, NFS got me learning about awesome cars. I seriously thought those cars were fictional, until my guy friends started pointing out those car names on the roads. The visuals on screen seriously looks nothing like the real thing, with the pixels and all. Well, that was YEARS AGO!

Then my brother bought me Sims to play on the desktop. OH SO MUCH LOVE! He bought me the pirated ones though, but he did buy me a few extension packs along with it. :D The moment I got it functioning, I would sit there for hours upon hours, just managing my sims doing 'humane' things. It was also near impossible for me to demand a PlayStation from my mother, as I know I should be focusing on studies and I suck at gaming anyways. But I had always thought that it would be cool to have one.

It wasn't until last year that I got actively excited about the gaming world. My friend brought a laptop to uni, and somehow made me play Call of Duty. If I am not mistaken, it was Modern Warfare 1? That was my first time ever, playing FPS game on my own. Despite me watching my brother playing it all those time, I finally had my chance in trying it out. HAHAHAHAHA! Prior to that, I had people teaching me how to play Dota. I still couldn't understand how to play it on my own, so I couldn't bother nor dared playing it on my own. But FPS, had somehow became my favourite genre of games ever since.

My first experience on COD was pretty cool. I actually got to play the whole thing on my own too! Thank god for that awesome friend who actually carried that crap heavy load of a laptop to uni almost everyday. It came to a point where I would just ask him, 'DID YOU BRING YOUR LAPTOP?!'. It gave me a mild headache after playing for about 2hours. Then it got my attention on the improvements of graphics that I have missed throughout the years of studying. Somewhere about the end of last year, I found out that Team Fortress 2 was actually free to play. Where it was absolutely free to be downloaded and to be played.

Friends of AusMat even made the whole room in the library into a CS community. Whenever there was a group of people who are having their breaks, they would just gather, and play CS right there in the library against each other. I, got to join too! My first experience of gaming online with other people. Which got me hooked to TF2, almost immediately. Playing online was so much more interesting than playing on my own. Soon after the CS craze died out, I switched to TF2. I have been hooked ever since. :P They occasionally have game sessions at the CC near uni, playing CS, Dota? and Left 4 Dead. YEAPPP! LOVE!

Also cause I got my own laptop, I could easily play TF2 whenever I like. Besides the fact that TF2 has constant awesome updates (at least recently). The improvement that they have been doing for the past whole year had been massive, making me treasure TF2 as my only source of gaming, ever more.

Exposure to gaming has brought me to a point where I would follow youtubers who uploads commentary gameplays on youtube. A place where I get updates on whatever new games that could come up anytime soon, or if the game is epic enough that they would talk about it, eventhough it is a pretty big distance away. This year, we had Diablo3. Which instantly died out after some korean beat the game within 24 hours or something. :P Upcoming games, Assassin's Creed III, Borderlands 2 and COD: Black Ops 2. HAHAHAHAHAH! I now know my gaming things, so much more than I used to. :P

#somuchwin

As of my first gaming convention, I guess I had my expectations a little too high on this one, but I guess it was good enough as my first time (also epic noobness). I had my hands on Diablo3 like FINALLY!!! yesssssssssssssssssssssss! I feel satisfied now. :)

I also like going to the arcade whenever I could. Though I sometimes wished that this place wouldn't have to appear sort of DODGY, as though people would just do drugs there or something. It is completely healthy to game! WHY DO YOU NEED TO SMOKE THERE, and also make the lighting extremely dim. As a kid, I really thought it was a bad thing to go there. tsktsktsk. Also the games, WHY YOU SO EXPENSIVE?!

I wish I had a better computer, so that I could play better games.
Or get a PS3, or Xbox360. :/