Getting a 'permit' to stay in Australia is necessary. I knew there were several things that could be done and one of them was potentially a de fecto visa.

But of course, if I could, I should avoid that. There's other visas I could potentially apply for as well.. one, really: work visa. Then again, employers wouldn't want to employ me if I don't have a pr because they will be responsible of applying for my stay in Australia. I, don't have an asset that they need that they have to buy my stay with them. They can easily employ locals.

Turmoil.

But thank you for finally looking into it. At least now I know it's not only me who wants to stay in Australia. At least now I know I have a better chance in staying here too.

Ps. Australia doesn't need an asian zoology graduate. My main reason why applying for a PR alone is not going to work.

The love of my life?
Close behind my love for animals.
Good enough. :)

♡

Current timeline:
November - exam, take in final moments of carefree days
December - mom visit
January - volunteer, visit home
February - move out; new journey

Yeah. I am scared.

How does a person stop struggling?

Why don't people like me?
Why do I feel so lonely?
What's wrong with me?

I realize that there is nothing wrong with me. It's just that I grew up and I learned about what I like and what I don't like about people. I feel uncomfortable pretending that I don't like certain behavior of certain people. I get mildly excited when I feel like the person has a selfless personality.

People will find it difficult talking to me, they don't seem to keen about what I have to say. It would then make me feel like it's best if I wasn't there. Then at least they wouldn't feel like it's a burden to be interested in what I have to say. It's almost like a cascading effect, where I wouldn't feel confident that people like my presence or company, followed by me not wanting to hang out with people to then me not having any social life. I wish I was exaggerating this, but I really am not.

My sister would probably say that I'm just a stuck up bitch not wanting to make friends, with the mentality whereby I am wayyyyyy better than everybody else.

Sometimes I wish that was the case. At least that could be a known fact instead of an unknown reason.

Part of me knows that I am just too tired about this friendship problem that I don't want to ve fussed about it anymore. But at the same time, the adult me knows that friendship and networking is really important.

:(

At the moment, I'm pretty convince that I can live life normally without friends. But I'm sure somewhere down the road, something is gonna hit me in the face to prove that I'm wrong.