That sense of jealousy.

It pretty is hard to describe it, why we feel jealous and why we just can't seem to comprehend the fact that others are having much more benefits than we are. Jealousy. We always seem to miss the fact and appreciate what we have at that current moment with everything that we have.

OMG! THE HOUSE IS FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE SMELL! HAHAHAHAHHA
I am having 2 dozens of mini muffins baking in the oven. Oh the bliss. <3

Right. Jealousy. ARE YOU JEALOUS YET?! I HAVE A FREGGIN BATHROOM FOR MY OWN AND A FREGGIN OVEN IN MY HOUSE!!! WOOHOO!
Nah. Who am I kidding. I still miss every single bit of home. When that tiny string of hope left, was tearing before my very eyes, it always gets a little too unbearable for me. Just last night I had another break down moment. Silly, I know. I wish I could actually get over the fact that I AM HERE and THEY ARE THERE, and I HAVE TO START LIVING MY OWN LIFE HERE eventually. Yes. There are point of times where I do feel like I am finally blending in, but deep down, I still want to feel like I belong back at home too. For all I know was that moments back at home were moments I treasure most, and that I want to experience those same awesome moments again when I do get back home.

But things are forever changing. Yes, I am happy here

AND THE OVEN JUST RANG! TELLING ME THAT MY MUFFINS ARE READY!!! OMGGGGG! *runs to go check the muffins. :F*
ah damn. I have like three burnt ones. :( OWH WELL! STILL LOOK FREGGIN ADORABLE AND NOMNOMICIOUS! mmh! <3

As I was saying. It has been close to three months since I first step foot here in Melbourne. Form initial 'emotional break down prone bitch', I am actually slowing down on that part. As in, I am getting used to being alone, I can hang out on my own, I couldn't care less if I have friends here or not, and I am hanging out with whoever I can hang out with. Not as much stress as I would have when it comes to assignments and test anymore. Honestly saying, it still feels really weird when I do stop to have a moment and think, 'whoa, I am actually here in Melbourne on my own.'

Have always thought I was 'big' enough to be living on my own. It wasnt until I went on an oversea trip with one of my bestie that I felt like I was so much smaller than the world could have seem like to my thoughts. That was the moment where I questioned myself, 'can I really do this?'
But I pretty much had no choice but to push myself and endure it like it was nothing. Look where I am now. :O
Even if others don't feel proud of me for surviving this long, I honestly am proud of myself for actually still being strong thus far.

Though I may have moments where I wished I had more company around me, but I guess I had to live with the little that I could clutch onto.

As of now, I still feel that ping of jealousy whenever my friends back at home are enjoying the time of their lives while I am still looking for my own joy... on my own. Ah damn. Everything seem to be so much more UNFUN when you are doing it on your own. D:

Owh well.
I guess this is the time of MY life where I have to learn somehow. :)

Though I have a problem... I really think I needa start finding a job. mmh.
This, is difficult. Considering that I have no working experience prior to this, and that the aussie people requires CV (resume) to apply for work. erhh... how? D:
sigh. why?!

On the side note, I am trying to find the best proportion for milk tea. At least I know now, that black tea works best for milk tea. hehehehehe
LASAGNA FOR DINNER! bwahahahhahahahahahaha

Seriously. I am jealous as hell whenever people back there are enjoying their asses off without me. D:
Got my heart torn to millions of pieces when I found out the guys went bukit tinggi again. Damnit, I feel so replaced. :(
#WorstFeelingEver
Now I am wondering who will I actually be seeing when I do get back to Malaysia for a holiday. :/

OWH WELL.