Waiting for my flight to Tasmania, I sit and I have nothing to do. I look across, and there was a family with a baby, a newborn of about one month, maybe. I am really bad at estimating, mind me. :X I began to think about what the future holds for me, and I tried reminiscing on the times that I was still a little girl.

Being at the last few months to my teenage days, I guess I am feeling slightly pressured upon myself. Adulthood seems scary, because we all know that this is the stage where we have to make important decisions on our own, and we have to take up that responsibility to give back to whom who have loved us dearly ever since we were brought into this world. As I look at the baby, I tried picturing myself being that small, vulnerable, knowing nothing at all. The only expression that could be read from a baby's expression, would be loud cries, and happy faces. Anything in between, would be an absolutely blankness. I mean, what does a baby know, right? It was the time that we needed most caring of, most attention, probably the most troublesome stage we could ever be. Random cryings in the middle of the night, waking up people of the house, just because we feel discomfort. But when people see us, they would feel happy, joy.

How is that possible? :O

As we grow up, we become those eager beings, protesting that we wanting things, asking never ending questions that even adults find it difficult to answer at times. We learned to talk, we learned to run, we learned so much about the beautiful world that we never knew. We still could not fully understand why certain things function at a certain way, but we are there, asking without fail. We learned that we can have choices, and we learn to like things and dislike things. We learn to interact with other people. The point of time where we learn so much, but everything was still enjoyable. There was nothing we needed to worry about, all we know, was to be happy.

People would still look at us and go in awe, complimenting on how adorable we looked. Though secretly, our parents would probably just dismiss the fact of how much of a nuisance we are to them, and would probably agree or disagree with the compliment. But parents will still be proud with the littlest things that they thought we wouldnt do, we do. Somewhat of a grown up thing in us that they see, that they would be grinning about.

The first ten years of life, as my point of view as a 19 year old, seems completely delusional. I would have to say that these delusional little beings are the reason that brings us back to our days, that we too had that much fun. It somehow is intriguing to listen to what they have to say, and just imagine what they would think about when they have reached our stage of time.

The next tenth of life, I would have to say, the most heartbreaking years for our dear parents. With the mindset of ours: 'parents don't understand me'. Countless number of rebels that we do, going against our parents in whatever way that we can. Little did we know, we were breaking their hearts. What more when they know our next stage would be the time where we will leave their side for a certain period of time or for good. Those worrying days where they pray that we still know the rights from wrongs, hoping that we will turn out to be good people in the future.

Right now, I am picturing whatever that had happened in my teen days, probably does affect alot on what I am thinking and deciding on now. The future, is probably the scariest thing to predict, not knowing what exactly will happen, not knowing how will things turn out to be. And it is then where we pretty much make or break our lives.

What do I do with my future? If there is anything I wanna do then, I pretty much have to making a start somewhere now. A decision on what I should be studying now, and what I will be after I graduate. Seems like it's so narrowed down that there is no alternative way to it, other than starting all over again.

Sometimes looking at children being all happy, just brings me back to the days where I could be happy at almost everything. Sometimes I partially feel sad for them that they will eventually lose out at least half of that happiness and grow up to be a normal being like the rest of us. Yet we can't stop them from growing up too fast. The future's generation.