Change, for the better or for the worse.

It felt like forever since I last shared my personal life here on my blog. Partially it was me trying to explore how far I could get into finding a secure spot in whatever that I was headed for, that the details of it made no sense at all, even to myself. With decisions overlapping one another, and with me having to learn to pick a priority out of the given choices. Adapting to a new life seems a little too overwhelming somehow, but I am very sure it's in a good way. Only question is if I am handling and juggling everything just as I should, or I am missing out a several key points. Plus, my thoughts that are caused by these major changes, seems really ridiculous to interpret. Most often, it ends up as a complete nonsense. Partially wishing that things could and would be easier to bear, but without difficulty there isn't much to learn from.

Being a committee member of the Malaysian Society has broaden up my social circle with fellow Malaysians both within Monash at Clayton, and also from other universities around Melbourne. I would consider myself to be the lucky one, as this would be the first time that the rest of the committee members from each and every university are beginning to work closely together, hand in hand with one another. The social circle, as well as the exchanging of wise thoughts and experiences greatly helped with me getting acquainted with my role as the Sponsorship Officer of MUMSU (Monash University Malaysian Student Union). If it weren't for these people, I am pretty sure I would crumble within the first week that my official 'work'load began. I had no prior experience to this, and I had not a slightest clue that things were this complicated within a society in a University stage. High school clearly did NOT prepare me for this. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

It was no longer a simple plan of 'okay, we wanna go here, we gonna get this, we gonna get that, we gonna pay for that, OKAY!'. Now? Everything has got to be thorough, each trip we plan we had to ensure that we could target the right amount of people to come for our events, and as big as the scale of the event would be, the higher it would cost. IF the sponsorship people like me are not doing their job properly, this society would not be able to have the green light to organise awesome events for the Malaysian community that we took the responsibility to help them feel at home. That instant when I stepped foot into MUMSU as a committee member, my mind is constantly blown by the amount of details we would need in order to keep this society running actively. Instead of only having fun, we had to put the priority of our fellow Malaysians in mind. We weren't doing this for ourselves, we were doing this for them.

Then came Frisbee. The one thing that I have been boasting about ever since I started playing. What more could I say, it has changed my life entirely. I found home within this group of people who calls themselves RunningMan. The moment when I got the call from my darling senior, she asked if I would be interested in joining her team and that they were to be making a jersey. That jersey was probably the starting point of where I felt like I truly belonged somewhere. Yes, I am silly for making a nonliving object as my evidence of security, but it served its purposes to me. Playing frisbee with them, going out on outings with them, and even travelling to Tasmania with them. That homey feeling just made me feel like I could just live with them for almost ever.

That Tasmania trip of mine would probably be one of the most things I treasured this semester. Eversince I got accepted by UTAS, I was just an inch close to becoming a student in UTAS, but Monash was the chosen decision. But I have always wondered how it would be like to experience Tassie. When they decided that they were headed towards Tassie for the holiday, I was both excited but doubtful at the same time. I felt like I should be going, as I wasn't really a part of them yet, I was still the new one and I might get lost. But everything turned out well, and it felt like it was the best combination that I had ever had, ever. I got to visit Tasmania and experience Tassie for a bit, I got to play frisbee there with them and other Tassie players, and I got to spend time with the team and get to know them better. It was only after this Tassie trip that I allowed myself to be free and just mingle around casually with them, and that I felt like I found a family away from home. :)

Though there were times where I had to pick between MUMSU and frisbee. As of now, I know I would give Frisbee as a priority, while everything else could just line up behind. But of course, the responsibility as a committee member outweighs my priority sometimes. When I had to choose between the two, my heart would be completely torn, my heart wanting to be with the frisbee team, but I know I have to be elsewhere to do important things for the people.

Every meeting, is equally as important. Every meet up, is equally necessary.
One is for the mentality, one is for the emotions.

On the side note, the time I have for myself has depleted drastically from the time that I was still a complete nerd. Results will be releasing.. tomorrow? And I really have very little expectations from it. Whatever that comes, I will have to accept, as I know it had been a drastic change for me ever since this semester started, and it was the best I could do (except not attending alot of the lectures).

Also, I am pretty sure I have neglected a handful of friends back home in Malaysia too. I used to give them a call once in awhile, but.. whatever I say next will only be an excuse. :(

I have completely stopped cooking too. Not even cleaning my room as often as I should either. Have been spending alot of time and trips to and from the city.

This is still only the beginning, challenge really starts next year when the semester begins again. This time, there is no way I could slack in my studies in any given way, while maintaining my non-lecture activities. Plus, I will be moving out, hopefully to a place that is nearer to uni, then it would not give me an excuse to skip lectures. HEH.

I finally saw a FULL rainbow. Tassie.. :')