What should I talk about?

How my brain and mind has two completely different thinking of their own. One will always have the logical win, the other would have everything to consider about. What comes out of these two combined, almost never comes out right or how one would perceive as normal. If only there is a way to split the two up, or even to have a simple compromise between the two. But it almost never happens.

People would say that it is 'overthinking'. I can never agree enough. It is a constant battle between the Angel and the Devil that buzzes around on the side of my noggins. Honestly, I don't even know who wins most of the time. I for one, will know that I get frustrated at myself for thinking too much and just go on with the most recently thought plan. For example, when I am to buy an item.. A dress for instance.

Mind: ooh! Such pretty dress! Brain: isn't it pricey? Mind: but it's not like you get to find such a pretty dress that firs perfectly! Brain: you have so many dresses already. Mind: IT'S ON SALE!! Brain: when are you gonna wear that? Mind: whenever the chance comes!

My mind speaks ME, but my brain is like my inner motherly instincts that tells me, it isn't practical. As me as I can get, my mind will almost always win. Once the mind gets what it wants, the brain glares at the mind like how a mother would, and I will end up feeling guilty as ever.

It takes me ages to make my own decision. When I finally make my decision, something out there will make me feel a slight guilt in myself. Then only way I could get over this guilt, is by convincing myself that it was the best that I could do, and there was pretty much nothing else that I could do about it. Which, is the truth. Considering how I could have easily gotten myself insane just thinking about that one decision (as though it would change my life forever).

Then to think again, that one decision really could change the course of the future. What sucks most is that there is no such thing as a u-turn or any special card that can be played any given time.

What is it that I want?

Love? Attention? Care? Though sometimes, I really do feel selfish for wanting these kinda things. Besides, it's not something you can ask off a person either. If it's there, it's there, if it's not, it will never be there. When these cards come to play, my brain somehow wins over my mind big time.

Mind: ooh! Let's tell them stories about you! Brain: it's not like they will be interested. Mind: just be completely random then! Brain: what makes you think you're entertaining?

Then I'll just end up sitting there quietly, minding my own business til my brain and mind sort it out.

Even during exams, these two would still be at it.

Mind: OMG. You're not familiar with this! You're screwed!!!

At this point, my mind is in absolute control that my brain couldn't function due to the chaos that the mind made. It wasn't until the mind knew that panicking would not do any good, it begin to relax and the brain took over.

There were times where the mind was being overly confident that the brain was lacking, which resulted with relatively bad results too. LOL

The mind, as you can see, is what we all know as emotions. What we feel good with, what we want. The brain is the boring old rule book with no emotions whatsoever. It has never been an easy task to balance the two out. Feelings are what triggers memories. There is no doubt that we all want to have as many good memories as supposed to bad ones, hence the reason why we follow our heart (mind).

I don't know if I am doing the right thing, but I am hoping for the best.