Remember clearly, the wrong things but not the right. Remembering how is embarrasses us more than how it makes us feel at that moment in time. Is it because the negativity within, that caused the negativity to outweigh the goodness in things? Or is it just plain habit?
I remember that when I was younger, whatever I did, somehow reflects as me trying to attract attention to myself. I saw, that it was a bad thing to attract attention to myself. I had an impression whereby doing something to get somebody's attention and pity, is not a right thing to do. Today, I could only question; why did I behave likewise?
For all you know, I could be some stuck up bitch putting shit and being a pain in the ass to everyone around me and find complete joy out of it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I would always know that it is not a good to take things from others and everyone should be treated nicely. The slightest hint of me being a trouble to someone, could literally drive me insane.
Yet I learned, that with me feeling upset for not being treated the way I think I deserve, will feel much better than having me to cause an inconvenience to others.
Then it makes me wonder, if it is worthy to maintain with what I have, or to leave it behind and start a new.
I can never think in between, somehow. Cause it will make me think everything in detail as it all sum up to the bigger picture of either scenario. Which, outweighs the other? Which, is more worthy? Which, makes me happy..?
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