What happens when I can't get what I want?

I don't know, cry my eyeballs off and then wake up the next day with a solution? But hey, at least I have a solution by the end of the ordeal. Sometimes it is absolutely difficult to get over that phase where I can't wake up with a proper solution.. and it sucks to the max. Because I know that I want to get things done as close to perfection as possible, and as soon as possible. Well, time doesn't wait for anybody. If I don't get this matter out of the way as early as I can, it is possible that I will never get it done with because you know new problems will just sprout out like mushrooms after a rainy day.

Do mushrooms really sprout out after a rainy day? I've never seen this natural occurrence ever. Being a scientist is tedious. Everything has to be done spot on, otherwise you'll probably just go around and around pondering on the same fact and not getting anywhere. But what I learned from writing shit long scientific reports is that no matter how little your time spent on a research could be, there is a chance of getting a certain yield of results. And because you know what you have obtained from that short period of time, you know what you could have done to improve in getting a better result in future experiments. But yeah, this shit part is writing a report to pass down the knowledge to someone who has zero idea about it. Little would you know, that with that little knowledge that you have passed on would give a certain degree of benefit to the next person doing a similar project.

So science-y.

I hate it when I can't get what I imagined it would be.
I make it a great deal when a friend is seemingly losing contact or so I would say, cutting of ties with me. That insecurity feeling just drives me nuts. It just makes me feel like I am not deserving of their time and patience. Like.. ya know, who am I right? I also make it a big deal because I could feel like I treasure my friends more than anything, thinking they were the only ones whom I could trust with my life.. literally. But in the end, people will just move on and well.. I have to live my life.. right?

It's just difficult. Sometimes I wish I could just blab my heart out and talk about every little thing that my mind could possibly think of, without being judged. Have a little discussion about what it would be like if the world would have been 'perfect' instead. But of course, reality will always be harsh. Too bad it's not something physical where we could just throw onto the ground and whack them up into non-existence. MEHH.

Today, there were a couple of girls talking about make up stuff. I just stared at them blankly and the only thing that came to my mind was 'how much I am fascinated by food' and how I couldn't relate to them at all. It's funny how we're all humans, but we have different thoughts and interests. There isn't a rule that shows us how to live life. It all depends on how the society reacts to what we do and how we accept this reactions. Weak people just won't be able to take it, sometimes I feel vulnerable too.

Sometimes I feel like my blog is my only friend whom I can trust. I know I can talk about almost anything I want, and I won't know how people would react to it. It is as though people are judging me without me allowing them to show it to me. Yeah.. something like that. I can be whoever I want to be? Maybe? YES. I am going to answer my own rhetorical question. (Y)