I am not sure how to accept thome reality that I have failed one unit this semester.

I only remember that my sister had been nagging at me telling me I should play less and get a part time job. Since I didn't feel like I had the time to get a part time job, so I decided to stop 'playing'. Who wouldn't be afraid after a scare in the previous semester where I managed to pass on the dot. Maybe she was right.

I panicked at every little things I had to do. Assignments and lectures. Those were the main focus I had that semester. I refused to go out, I refused to play ultimate, I lost interest in everything including eating. Every little problem became a bigger issue that it should have. They were all unnecessary, and somehow gotten its way into my studying routine.

Maybe I knew it was too much for me to handle. I knew I wasn't feeling quite right about this semester halfway through the semester. Something was just telling me that no matter how much effort I am prioritizing in this, things weren't going to work out.

I don't know what went wrong but everything about it didn't seem right at all.

Maybe I was lacking of a mood booster, something that would encourage me to make me feel that I was not a failure.

'Now that you're extending one semester, there's no excuse for you not to get a part time job'.

I think I would feel better failing when I played. At least I know what the culprit is. But I wouldn't have felt so terrible because it was the best that I could've done. I regret that decision to stop playing ultimate. I felt like my soul had got sucked out of my body. I thought I was doing myself a favor, something to guarantee my place in the future.

But all I did was cry everyday.