It has been a bad week with dark gloomy skies throught the whole of last week. It was finally bright on the outside, the sun shone as though it has never shone like that ever before. Nature reveals its inner beauty that had been overshadowed by those musty clouds. Eleanor opens her dready eyes, and stared into the ceiling filled with glow in the darks stars that has been camouflaged with the intense brightness from the outside. She wondered that something felt slightly different than she used tom but was unsure what it was exactly. She reached under her pillow and grabbed her purple blinged phone, tapping on the screen just to question the time. It was 9 in the morning, much earlier than she would have expected it to be. Knowing her normal self, she would often continue her laziness and dose off in bed until she had enough, or so to say, 'bored' with what she was doing before finally getting off her bed to do things that were more 'useful'.

Somehow, today she felt different. She felt like there were things to be accomplised, things that could be done, things that could change her life. She took her first step by sitting up on her bed. She glanced around her room, looking at ...

She decided that it was a good day to step out and have a breather or two, smelling in the cool, fresh, breezy wind that swept through her soft silky hair. As she stood there, she could hear her veins thump to the beating of her heart. She lets go a heave of sigh, reminiscing of what had happened for the past, wondering, pondering.




and... I lost track of what I was trying to impose in this.

I was about to kill that character. But I figured it started off too nice to be murdered in the end, I didn't know what to do then. HAHAHAHAHA

dangit.

Ultimate, has become something that I look forward to. Preferably just to practise tossing, and not much of the real game. Simply because it felt like I am not ready to face the fierce-ness of the competition yet, also the fact that I would end up contributing as a dead weight to the team. Ultimate has somehow turned into one of my passions, a newly found one. In a way, it has blown my mind from the start, I wanted to know how much more this game would blow my mind further.

The physics of the frisbee disk, had to be mastered. The flick of the wrist, as the key point of this game, getting the disk moving or being passed. The swing of the arm, where is steers the direction to where the disk flies towards. The movement of the body, that determines the strength of the throw. The basics. Forehand and backhand. Then you have other variants of throws; huck, dump, layout are the few common ones that I hear. Anticipation and that nervous feeling when someone aims for a long throw. Would have to say it is the most risky throws to make, it was either make or break at the end zone.

Then comes running. The ungodly amount of running that has to be done throughout this game. It was either offence or defence. Either way, there will be alot of running to do, especially during a turn over. D's are usually praised for being able to prevent the disk from moving forward. The whole point of the game: penetration of defense. Kinda reminds me of tf2, except this was the real deal with real energy being used. It is usually the term 'mark' that is used when we happen to be on the D, whereby we would follow this particular player, preventing them from getting open space to have a chance at the disk. The offence, would have to outsmart the Ds to get the disk moving forward.

Turnover? The roles are reversed. Takes place when the disk touches the ground during passings, if the disk flies out of the field, or the O took more than ten seconds to pass the disk. In my opinion, this has got to be the most tiring point of the game. It is both frustrating for the initial Os, but it's now a chance for the initial Ds to have a go at it. It's like a shift of direction, when the wind blows to the right, and then it just switches and you are going towards the left almost immediately.

Strategies. The one part that I have yet to fully grasp. Backhand force home. Stack. Cup. Zone. As I stand in line about to play, listening to captain telling us his plans, I tried understanding, but my head was more like: what on earth are you gibbering about? I could not fathom this ultimate language that was going on. At least not yet.
Stack is an offence strategy, when you have players stacked in the middle with first cutter, second cutter to the 4th. Plan was that if the first cutter couldnt get the disk, the second cutter would cut out in time to get it. If the first cutter gets it, it is then passed to the third cutter, second to fourth. But of course the defenders would have known, which is why it is ever more difficult than the strategy forsee.

Cup is a defence strategy, where you have three defenders on the player who is throwing the disk. Probably one of the hardest to penetrate, at least as far as I could see..

What does Break mean? There were just so many terms that I have yet to fully understand. Hahahahaha! Horizontal. Ohhh myyy.

Where would I fare as of now? The one who runs around the field trying to understand the game a little more..?
When I should be analysing the opponents and thinking of how to penetrate their strategies. Though it does question me, if both have got strategies to counter each other, then wouldnt it cancel each other out? I mean it is only by chance that one strategy would be better than the other one, and nobody could tell until the point is being scored. Then again, they will set another strategy by the end of that match.. No?

Mind = blown

Last of all, there wouldn't be a team if it wasnt for its members. I have gotten to know an awesome bunch of people, and it amazes me to see the connection and understanding between these people. Even if it was not for this one team, you could still see that spark of passion in each and everyone who plays. It is as though they were their own cheerleaders of their own team.

It just feels different, being exposed to ultimate. As though it had been a whole different world on its own, a secret society or somesort.

I feel blessed to have met each and everyone of them throughout my whole first month of frisbee experience, especially Ei Jean and Cendol / Running Man. Their journey has made me envious of what they had achieved thus far. It made me want to experience similar experiences that they are had.

I may be new, but I have learned enough to have this as a memory that is worth looking back to, and feeling absolutely proud of.

Thank you Ei Jean!
Thank you Cendol / Running Man!

Hwaiting~!! <3

Here is one suicidal habit about me. When something interests me, I will go all out in trying to find the core to it. It works fine, if it applies to education and other useful stuff. But it is normally the social stuff that gets me curious the most, as I find it difficult to understand society.

This bad habit of mine involves me, beating around a bush, knowing there is a secret hidden within its dark and shady appearance. By the norm, it would have looked completely normal, nothing interesting at all, where people would not have a second look at. But I, was stupid enough to actually stop and immediately start scavenging for bits and pieces around it that could give me a clue or two about this one big, fluffy bush right there in my face.

At this point, it feels like I a complete psycho, pondering about what appears to be nothing. It gets me thrilled to have a few ideas and thoughts about what I was frolicking about. I get excited, but nobody actually bothers about what I discovered. Which of course, is completely normal. As I question myself why I do that, I continue finding answers to prove myself wrong.

The problem heightens as I accidentally found a loop hole, and I fall into this 'magical unknown kingdom'. As I fall, I find myself being bombarded with extensive information that I had been beating about all these while. It made me thought: why on earth did I get so overly curious about this in the first place. It somewhat feels like I have hit the jackpot, somewhat like I made it through and got what I wanted. But it was somehow, too overwhelming.

Its as though you have seen something, and there is no way you could possibly un-see something.

What happens when I manage to break through? I, stop functioning almost immediately.

It's almost like a truce, where you  choose to understand what exactly is happening, or you choose to leave with millions of questions in your head unanswered. Either way, it is impossible that you could talk about this to the rest of the world, cause you started off as the maniac, searching for apparently nothing. What makes you think they would believe what you say?

I am not a perfect person, but I would want to read all my flaws and be a better person. But who should I ask, to know what I am doing wrong, or what I am doing right?

Trial and error, they say.
But with every one success you get, you have millions of flaws behind your back. What is the point?

:/

I speak, through my blog.

It literally speaks of everything I could ever possibly think of as compared to when I talk. It doesn't feel like I am burdening anyone by posting my thoughts on my blog, as it is not a pressure to say: YOU MUST READ ME.

Though I really get fascinated when someone does ask me about my life, based on my blog. Faith in humanity, restored?

Meh.

Maybe the reason why I chose to study zoology after all. Eventhough we all know that passion is the main reason that steers us towards success in the future. The way I look at my future, doesnt seem as bright as how parents would see it (society too). It somehow seems like a no-brainer kind of field to choose from, or some could say 'silly'.

Obviously parents would be worried if your future job wouldn't be able to provide you a good income. I believe that they secretly wants you to have that money to take care of them once they are older. Also, I guess their experiences gives them that parent-ly instinct in hopes for a secure future for your future family. Somehow, it outweighs that push to enhance the child's passion. Asians, why?

Anyway, this was somehow that one thing I managed to push through despite all the negative impressions I got as a result of answering the question: 'so.. You wanna work in the zoo?' How is it possible that I could have this question fresh in my head every single time I mention the word ZOOlogy. It feels like I have to explain from where the animals originates from and the importance to them being around before we humans came to life, and still living til this very day.

Then to think about how ignorant majority of the people are, I just give up immediately and say: 'it isn't necessary, I could work in the wild and do some research there'. Then of course, the conversation dies there. Thus the intriguing feeling when someone actually asked more beyond that question. A sigh of relief to my soul when that happens, non-ignorant people towards animals still exists! <3

Also on the norm, people would respond: 'oh! Interesting'.

Word.

Then to think again, they may be thinking of how suicidal I am by doing this, or how rich my family is for allowing me to do this.

I haven't even started my core major yet, but I know I have this passion for animals. Starting next semester, I am pretty much full on with my biology combo. Though I have to admit, I despise plants. It feels like they are there to block the beauty of the animal kingdom, cause without plants, there wouldn't be any life forms. Somehow feels like they ate God, all of a sudden. LOL.

I guess it is just that self satisfaction in trying to find answers to prove that my thoughts about animals are true. For instance, maybe after every new discovery that is new to my system would make me go, 'HA! IN YOUR FACE, SOCIETY!' That, will be insane. But my aim is to find the reason to change the society's mindset about animals. It doesn't feel fair at all, whenever I see the interaction between humans and animals.

Just recently I had a thought of how Dogs, became man's best friend. I was pondering upon the logic of humans taking in dogs as puppies, and complains ay every thing it does that doesnt please us. I could not fathom. Then I starting wondering, what it would be like if it was out in the wild, brought up naturally by its own parents. Ironically, dogs were my first encounter with animals in my life, and they were the reason to why I love animals to a level whereby I wanted to study them. Now I am questioning if I would ever want to have a pet, ever again. :X

Even if I don't get to change the society, by finding bits and pieces if evidence, here and there.. I guess I could die in peace, then?

Besides, I really can't imagine what other fields I could venture in. I've got no brains for medicine or engineering, I've got no logic in any of the business field nor arts field. The only thing left were dancing and singing (even this, I suck at.. ).

There is never one thing that is not difficult. You just need to begin from somewhere, and then push through. Barging through, isn't the way out either. Pushing in a way where you stay mentally strong and physically healthy through it all.

Loves!

Today, would be the first time I am taking public transport from my sister's all the way to uni. Giving myself an estimation of 2 hours of travel time, we shall see what happens. At the mean time, I shall use my time to do some writing. :D

It used to be me being all nerdy, reading novels whenever I could. I know that nerdy part of me hasn't left me, as I have several books in my drawer, hoping that I will have a chance to read it somehow. But when I think of the list of things to do, I would always feel slightly sad, as I would have to let it go. Would have to say that some sacrifices had to be made, in way for other much more important stuff to do; like studying and socialising much more. Same thing with gaming, if you would ask me. It is something that I would love to do, that I would keep it for the very last after I am done with all the other mundane things I have to do.

Not seeing the point of enjoying myself when there still is a huge chunk of responsibility of deal with. You could say, that I am still in my first year, it shouldnt be as bad. Honestly, I will never know until I am given the chance to actually experience it for my own, right? As of now, what I look at, is the toughest as it could get. Yes, I am aware that it gets much more difficult from here on. But I am going to have to take that slowly. *consequently, I will be very slow in improving, actually. Mehhh. Screw that.

Right now, I could see a significant change in me when I compare this semester to the one before. Both good and bad. When I got back from my first winter break, I told myself that I will not allow myself to be the same as I was back in the first sem. Simple reason was because my depression was written all over my face, blog and almost everything I could get my hands on. It is possible that I was holding on to my past a little too much, and I found it incredibly difficult to let go. My main goal this semester was to let lose (and loose), and indulge whatever that is brought up to my plate. Literally. Also to meet up with whoever who is willing to meet up with me, and forget those people who give no crap about contacting me.

Mean. It's nice being mean once in a while, especially when the person deserves it. But how could you tell whether he or she deserves it or not?

Besides, I definitely cry and complain less about things now. I just couldnt bother anymore. I was too busy getting myself busy. Heh! I even gotten too lazy to cook my own meals, p meals every now and then because I couldnt be bothered. It's bad, I know. But.. sometimes, I just couldnt help it.

This semester, I have been travelling more than ever. I started this semester off with a ski camp up at fall's creek, with Malaysians from other universities. Had my chance to mingle about, and also my first ever experience of real snow! :F Then my sister who lives further away than she used to. It only made sense if I spent my weekend at her place instead of one dinner-trip. Also, a field trip to Rawson for my geography unit. I got to understand Australian culture a little more than I normally would be exposed to ( still yet to have an Australian friend, though :X ).

Then came ultimate frisbee. I made an effort to meet up with my high school senior, just for the sake of it. Thank god for that effort, otherwise I would have no idea on which emo planet I would be levitating about today. Story cut short, I got to meet these awesome bunch of people who calls themself, Running Man or from their initial name, Cendol. Also not to forget that I got exposed to the game of Ultimate. Still mind blowing, still mind blowing.

Last semester, MUMSU literally saved my soul. They held activities that gave me a platform to mingle around with fellow Malaysians studying in Clayton. Now? I am one of the committee. A sponsorship officer, they say. Got me a little whacked out, as I grew to know that clubs and societies in university level is beyond the limits of high school. But it's a good exposure, still. I mean, if I don't get that chance to learn this now, when will I ever?

It feels a little overwhelming with so much going on within the past 1 and a half month. In about 18 days from today, I will be on my flight home again. But it will be a very short trip, cause my exam happens to be 'dropping by' at the end of this month. I haven't been nerding as much as I used to. Which can be pretty worrying.

The one subject that I am most concern of, would be Chemistry. I remember very well that when I first started this semester for this unit, I was clueless. There were just too many calculations, that it just made me panic even more. I am alright with both my biology units (except the part where it involves plants). Then my geography unit was pretty closely related to one of my bio unit. Seems alright, really. Just really worried for my chemistry. Its the first paper too. 29th of October, I will soooooooooo dread that day. :(

Oh, and I have decided to continue with playing Ultimate. It feels like there is still so much more to learn about this game. :F

Also partially hoping I still get the chance cheer again, in some way, some how. :/

Midway point! On the train to Huntingdale. 45 mins bus ride from my sis' to Melbourne Central, then.. ?

Octoberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.