Nothing's changed. Not one bit has changed. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

The good thing about it, is that I am giving myself a break from all those drastic changes I had been through after 5 months of being on my own. The scale of the loneliness is absolutely no match to what I have been whining about for the past 18 years of my life. Constant learning about the changes that takes place gradually, eventually. Even if you deny that you have changed, time will always change things. Sometimes, the effects are taking place too slow, you don't even realise the change. But as of now, it seems like it is very difficult to identify the change as a whole. Unless, you take the time out, and just focus on one individual.

I know I have changed.
All I am thinking about is how I lived my life in Australia for the past 5 months, and comparing with the life here in Malaysia that I used to have. Drastic changes in me, if you ask me.

One example would be my shopping habit.
Obviously shopping here in Malaysia is so much more cheaper than shopping in Australia. I have learned to only purchase things that are on sale, even so, I would still question myself if I need it or it will only be there for display. I battled with my noggins and convinced myself that I will make full use of it before buying. Especially with the currency difference, I had to comfort myself and spend based on the aussie currency and not multiplying or dividing with the currency difference. This in turn has brought me into a total confusion when I shop here. Despite comforting myself, I would still be reminded of the currency difference and shop necessarily. Here, I look at a rm15 item, and think that it is 15aud. 15aud is the cheapest thing to buy and own, considering it is a piece of clothing. I stand there looking at that pretty piece of clothe, staring back at me blankly. Help?

I am watching an event fail in front of me. Not my nature at all, really. Considering I do not have a driver's license with me, I myself have problems with getting to the place too. Best part? I hosted the event. It is unlike me at all, not putting in effort in making sure everyone will be there for the event. It was as though I have no strength left to put any effort into it. Hence, I am watching it disintegrating before me.

This is giving me a chance to track back to where I came from, to where I am presently.

I was stressed about coming home. That fear where everything will be different.

Honestly? There are differences. But I am not putting attention to the difference, and digesting the overall view of things.

2.50am
23rd June 2012.