It's been a while.

Still couldn't find that inspiritation or drive to just write whatever I could think of for my biology essay. I have another one due next week, I have yet to begin on that either. :/ How oh how do I get through with this? I have done this before, but it was that one thing I dreaded most. It has definitely dragged me down a whole lot. I have no idea what is going on in Chemistry. I am struggling to keep my head above water at the moment. :/

I shall avert my thoughts for abit, and try to get some writing going on for abit. Today, I shall talk about Parents Appreciation.

Or will I?

I am freezing right here. :/ Dang it.

I feel extremely disappointed whenever I see or hear my friends complain about their parents. Maybe because I don't understand what they are actually experiencing, but it felt like it wasn't right to blast out at their parents like that. I used to be that little annoying girl, who knew nothing, but acted like I knew everything. I ended up being the home wrecker, literally. Maybe I was brought up in a different environment that I could not comprehend what my peers are complaining about their parents.

Here at this moment, I wish I had a family where I could turn to whenever I need something. A mother where I could just call and cry to, a father who will be my support pillar and siblings to have around as accompanyment. I picture a perfect family, if I were to have one. This is probably something that everyone hoped for, the 'perfect' family.

We all have that period of time where we are completely pinned down by our parents for not having our freedom. Or so we could say, parents will always be parents. But sometimes, I just don't understand, why is this so difficult for others to understand? Yes, it seems unreasonable that they wouldn't let us out eventhough we are legally old enough and mature enough to hang around outside. I am not saying I am completely agreeing that parents should have ultimate control over their children. What I understood, is that parents are only being over protective. Sometimes, they may forget that we are of a complete different era, and they could not comprehand on how we kids roll these days. In turn, this would have cause us, children to rebel as much as we could.

I have personally rebelled a lot. But at the same time, as I was rebelling, I felt that extreme fear that I could not gain my aunt's trust anymore, and could probably get kicked out of that house almost immediately. Obviously, that was an extreme. It was still a thought that I had, then.

To my surprise, my aunt has actually given me my freedom as soon as high school ended. Probably even before then. I would say that it happened in a good manner; I learned things at my own pace and I learned to be over protective of myself. Maybe..

My mother gave my wine when I was much younger, telling me that it was ribena and that it is absolutely alright to drink. Today, for the fact that I know what alcohol could've done to people, I developed myself into only having several sips, just for the sake of the taste. I would say that I fear having to get drunk, and feel ill just because of it.

Hanging out late at night. This has always been an issue for me. I always break them as much as I can. But the fact that my aunt gave me her trust, made me felt extremely guilty whenever I break those time restricts. Hanging out because my friends were still there, refusing to return home, but at the same time, fearing what could possibly happen when I get home later that day. It used to be me being punished by being 'grounded' whenever I pass the curfew. That normally lasted a few days for me, but I was still able to go out again, anyways. :P

But it taught me that, there is no way one could actually hang out everyday. All those money being spent, all those time being used up (when it could be used for other beneficial stuff like STUDYING, or even to spend time with your family).

I realise that parents that tend to hold onto their children much more than they should, is causing them to actually rebel even more. To an extent where I feel FEAR, in seeing the way they rebel. Rebelling may or may not be a good thing. Good in a way that it is a point where our parents are informed that it is time to let us go. Bad in a way, that we are not learning things as we should be.

We all grow up differently. Even amongst siblings, there is bound to be difference in the way we are being brought up. By the end of it all, we know deep down, we love our parents. They are the reason we were brought to this world, they are the reason for who we are today. I don't believe blaming a parent would be worth anything, other than to break their fragile hearts into billions upon billions of pieces. Even if we do, we will somehow magically piece those broken pieces back again whenever we show them that we love them.

Parents are humans too. They gave us everything they could possibly give us (in their own particular way). They shaped us. Instead of scolding them, or blaming them, why not thank them for everything they have done?

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