Have been trying to blog for the past few days, they all ended up as my drafts. My head was going through so much that I couldn't finish what I started with. In all honesty, I wish I had a headphone or a loudspeaker in my head that speaks whatever that is going through my head. It feels like all these nonsense are just there and is clogging up my thinking capacity.

Then again, I may be saying so as a form of complaint. I have always been known to complain at almost everything possible. Just that for the past few months, I had very little people whom I could talk to, to complain to, it was all clogged up in my head, with pretty much nowhere to go. But hey. It does feel like my old habit is back. With so much more input that I see and experience, I just had to have a thought or two about what I am seeing and experiencing. It got me considering my action, questioning myself if I was doing the right thing or completely wrong. It also got me going through a long pause whenever I needed to make a decision, wondering if it would be the right decision or otherwise. Which, in a matter, I would always assume its the wrong one.

I mean, there is no way you could predict what could really happen in the future, right? One day you have this decision, picturing it to be the perfect life you will see unfolding before your eyes. Then when that day comes, you feel truly disappointed when everything isn't as lavishing as you thought it would be. Because of that, I started to see everything negatively, and be pleasantly blown away whenever things do happen to turn out in a good manner.

Then of course, it is always safer to have a plan, a guideline ready to have a little bit of faith in waking up the next day, in finding a reason to be breathing as you are today.

Me plan, is to graduate with a degree with the word Zoology written on it, as of now, there is no plan to forgo Honours, as I figured that after I have graduated, I would go into the working field.. as an airstewardess. It's a plan, where I get to travel, and work and serve people and meet all kinds of people, also, earning enough money for both me and my mother. Hopefully once I am satisfied with what I have, then I would let it go, and continue my studies with animals.

My passion lies within the lives of animals. I may be human, but it still feels like there is much more to life, than us, humans by our own. If I do get a job, once I am done with this stage of animal studies, I would probably leave the world satisfied.

I am crazy enough to think that I can change the world's perspective towards animals someday. But to do so, I need to learn more about them vocabulary-less beings, our friends on Earth. That, someday will come. Even if I die not changing the world, but if I do learn enough of what I need to know, it's still good enough for me.

I may be overly repetitive of what I am dying to do. It is taking me years to be where I want to be, from today. Even right now, I am not even close to the half way point of my plan, I have diverged myself into having an interest in Biomedical Science. Oh. That look in my aunt's face when I asked her about this unit. It breaks my heart.

If I hadn't had this plan laid out before me, I would imagine myself going through so much more difficult times, trying to cram both Zoology and Biomedical Science, prolonging my years from 3 to 5 years of studying. Looking at my academic capabilities, I know I am incapable of keeping up. There is no point, when I could see myself suffering though my 5 years, probably risking fails and only mere passes in all my units, possibly wasting another two years worth of nothing, coming out and getting a job that I probably wouldn't like and then rot my life away.

I wouldn't think like that if I hadn't see the adults struggling with their lives, working and doing things that they are not passionate about, being slaves to themselves, just to keep their heads above water. I, would rather drown and do what I like, even if it means I will have a shorter life. At least I die, with a happy heart. Isn't that, what matters most?

You may have been seeing alot of words related to death in this post. Sorry, but it does seem like it's slowly creeping in on us. As a child, we know nothing about death, we only know that they are no longer there, physically in our lives. But now.. it feels like it is everything.

I constantly think that I shouldn't be alive, considering how much burden I have served for as long as I have existed. I honestly think that life would have been so much of a better place, if I had not existed. It feels like my existence has no significance in life.

Pretty sure I am not the only one who feels that way, but I do go to the extreme a little. I imagine how I would die. I imagine myself returning as a ghost, walking amongst people and just watching but there is nothing I could do. I imagine that I could just leave the world as it is, and there is nothing that I needed to worry about, leaving the world to be a better place.

But the thing is, I am already breathing. The only thing that is not allowing me to commit suicide, is the fact that once I go, that will be the end of me. All those plans and efforts I have spent trying to make things right, all those people whom I have literally owe my life to, all those people who have spent their moments worrying for me.. Death, will never be the answer.

Sometimes things may be overwhelming. Sometimes you just feel like curling up in a foetal position and sit there, hoping someone would come and pick you up. Sometimes you just wish there is a guide, somewhere out there to tell you that you will be fine, that you are doing the right thing.

But most of the time, you just gotta suck it up, and brave the world as though nothing is holding you back at all. Plant that smile on your face, and be the cheerleader of your own. Play your own game, bring the sunshine to the lives of those around you.

Everyone has got their own story to tell. Everyone, is their own warrior.

The Sun will always shine, the moon will always brighten up the night.

You're breathing.
Just smile.

:)

8.34am, 20th October 2012.

Since I figured I have substance to write, maybe writing a daily blog for this trip wouldn't be a bad idea after all. HEHEHE

It's the morning of the much anticipated wedding. Ever since I made that decision to purchase my flight back for this occasion, I was pretty much psyching myself up, predicting that this will be one of the toughest week ever for me (at least up til the present day, that is). Considering that the wedding falls on the first day of my SWOTVAC week (one weeks worth of study break before the exam commences), at least I knew I will not be missing classes. The only thing I needed to do, was just to prepare myself for my first paper, Chemistry which is on the 29th of October. I never really deemed it as a YOLO (you only live once) thing until a friend mentioned that it was pretty hardcore. Preparing myself for this day, had has it's legendary past, which will be worth remembering.

It began as soon as I got home for my 2nd semester in uni. I planned my timetable, whereby I would get Friday off, so that I would not miss a single lab session (the most important part of the unit, really). But nope, the uni's system decided to give me a Chemistry lab session on Fridays. It got me flopped up for a bit, but it was still settle-able. All I needed to do was to approach them and ask for a transfer, and they gave me a change for that last session of mine. With that done, I had one less thing to worry about. heh!

As the semester progressed, I got myself much more active and I was literally busy running around Melbourne. From my sister's, to frisbee flinging sessions, to important meet ups with the malaysian society, and also just to meet up with some friends to have a little leisure-social time. Definitely would have to blame myself for not being able to manage time properly, as I had not been nerding in the library as much as I used to be. Which in a way, sets back my studying pace, by quite alot. Right now, I have that Chemistry paper to worry about, and I would have to rush back to Melb, and hardcore nerding will have to be done up til the paper. :X

Also, my bro assigned me to perform for his wedding night. Couldn't remember how that decision came along, but I only assumed that I am singing for no reason at all. HAHAHAHAHA Though Natasha will be the main performer. heh. So I guess it was fine. Even knowing so, I was still very worried about my performance. Today is the wedding day, and I am still considering which song to perform tonight. I don't know how I would describe this, it was an initial plan where I would duet with Natasha. But because we were miles apart, it was almost impossible for us to practice together, to get it close to even right. I did thought that it would be a better idea for her to sing my part, so that I wouldn't have to be the embarrassment, singing in my own world. Ohhh. I just feel like laughing when I think of this. 

That tensed feeling I get, made me sat down, and started to record myself singing. The more times i listen to myself sing, the more and more convinced I was that I shouldn't be singing. But at the same time, it felt like I should be performing, as I have my word with Natasha. After all, it's just ONE SONG, right..?

Prior to coming home, it was also partially because my dear friend's birthday falls just a few days after the wedding. It gave me more reasons to come home. hehe. Assignments up my nose, studies up my throat, I am surprised I made it this far, and I am still blogging about it today. HAHAHAHAHA

There are definitely more and more people gathering downstairs, as I sit in my brother's room for the first time, blogging about this. 

1.30am, 19th October 2012

Everytime I have a flight home, I will start reminiscing of the whole time I have been where I am. Putting every journey home as a reference point to how much I have changed and how much things have changed. Probably one way where I would make myself feel better, looking back on what I could actually improve more, or what I could've done differently. As it is still my first year on my own, this is still probably the beginning of an epic journey ahead.

I am pretty sure I have mentioned this in a blog, somewhat a week ago. Will be checking back on it, just in case I am being repetitive. :P

But I like talking about this! This change I have has made me feel so much better about myself (that I secretly want to rub it into the faces of those who have left me in the dark during my first semester here). I know I shouldnt be putting the blame on anyone for my sad times, but it really did felt like I was neglected then. It had hurt my inner self to a point where I was highly delusional, only relying on sleep and study as a gateway where I could escape of how gruesome reality was. Dreams were the things I looked forward to, rather than waking up in the mornings, looking forward to what the beauty of the world was installed for me.

I know that I shouldnt be fretting about this that much, but it has played a significant impact in my life. One that had made me do drastic changes, one that made me realise I had grown into a better person than who I used to be.

No doubt, I still like feeling like a child. When amongst people whom I know are older than me, I'll just lay back and let them make the decisions, as I trust that they knew best. Aside from the fact that I have no faith whatsoever in the things I do, I'd rather sit at the sidelines, watching, listening and learning from them.

But of course, if I were to do that, I had to start mingling around and getting to know more people, beforehand right? Not to forget that initial effort that is needed to start off everything.

This time around, I didn't care about how the outcome would turn out to be. Took numerous leaps of faith, and hoped that I didn't land anywhere where it would be labelled as suicide. Eventhough there may be ravines where I fall too deep into, all I needed to do, was to take a break and strategise on how would I get back out onto the surface. Once done, I was almost ready to take another leap off the cliff. It was either do or die for me, no longer 'what if..?'.

The best decision I have made! As the days passed, I slowly found the spark that I lost, when I first got here. I would not have realised how far I had been down under if it wasn't for a friend who told me that she could sense that I wasn't as cheerful as I used to be, back in the days where I had nothing to worry about.

I had food, I had a car, I had the money.. All I needed to do was study well. Even so, I couldnt. Simply because I was spending my time having fun. No aim, whatsoever.

Here? What I needed most was comfort, trust, and a little bit of external push to get me going.

Which I deprive.

Was even overwhelmed by my own thoughts, clouding over me, telling me that I can never do anything right, nor properly.

*just as I arrived at my seat, I saw a little girl sitting at the chair next to mine. The joy I had when I thought I got to sit beside her. Not too long after that, a man came by and said: ermn, that's my seat. Damnit! Now I can't enjoy the child's adorableness and have to be blocked by the mundane adult sitting beside me. :/ *

Now, where was I?

This time, I learned to treasure those who are dear to me. Friends who cares would appear once in awhile, asking how I am doing or would respond to my Facebook statuses. Though it may seem like it's nothing, but it tells me that they still have me somewhere in their thoughts eventhough I may not be physically present. It meant so much to me sometimes, that I was afraid by mentioning it would make them think I am desperate and would freak out and disappear.

Then again, if they do freak out, they should not be worth me calling them as friends, right?

Heh. Piece of bullcrap!

I really could not care less of what people think of me anymore. As long as I, am happy, why not?

Yes there may be times where I should be self conscious, and moderate my actions. But weighing the pros of letting loose is much more than holding it in, letting loose WINS!

That fuzzy feeling whenever there is a flight to be done. Lack of sleep, and what not. Insanity!

Heh. I apologise for my randomness. >< being zombified has never been a good decision xD

Growing up in a house that always has at least one kind of animal, sparks my interest in animals. Be it fishes, cats, dogs, terrapins, even butterflies and grasshoppers. I was most fond of dogs, and it got me interested in wanting to learn about them in depth.

Blinded by to society, it was only recently that I thought that, 'of all animals, why does the dogs seem most aquainted to humans, and could behave in ways that humans would want them to behave so easily'. Even when you compare with cats, it seems like cats still have its distinct cat-ly behaviour despite being domesticated.

So I thought, it must be what humans have done to have cause the dogs to behave in such a manner. Even to think of it, there are probably a smaller population of wild dogs as compared to domesticated dogs existing in the world today. It got me wondering, how is it possible that humans could make the dogs listen and understand them, but yet still have several dog-ly behaviour in them.

For example, we would take the babies away from their mothers as soon as they are ready to be taken away. Then, we would have to raise them just like our own little child. These puppies got to learn how to poo and pee at the right place, otherwise they would get scoldings. Interesting thing, puppies seem to actually know that they are being scolded and would actually learn from it. I could not have imagined how these little ones would be living in the wild if it were not for the humans. Their birth mother would have gotten all her little ones murdered if the puppies behaving like that in the human world, being put in the position of puppies living in the wild.

Cats on the other hand, could not care less about you. You try controlling it, but it would just run away if it decided that you are too bothersome. They only come home to you, and snuggle you for abit, and a little bit of food, and off they go exploring and searching for their own entertainment.

Birds, would probably be the worst to be kept as a pet, ever. You freggin buy the bird, and have it locked up in the cage, JUST FOR YOUR OWN EYES TO SEE! I really can't imagine the bird knowing how to fly when times of emergency arises. Not forgetting other cage kept animals that could possibly be kept as pets to humans; sugar glider, snakes, geckos, iguanas. Why do you need them, really?

I may be speaking on behalf of myself as an animal lover. To an extent that I would prefer performing an operation on humans more than on any kind of given animals.

Today, I decided to do a little YouTube-ing, and I stumbled upon a video that was talking about cuteness. He ended the video with : 'Dogs are man's best friend, because it may be man's best invention.'

MADE MY DAY!
At least I don't have to feel like a complete psycho for having that kind of thoughts literally eating my noggins. :P

It has been a bad week with dark gloomy skies throught the whole of last week. It was finally bright on the outside, the sun shone as though it has never shone like that ever before. Nature reveals its inner beauty that had been overshadowed by those musty clouds. Eleanor opens her dready eyes, and stared into the ceiling filled with glow in the darks stars that has been camouflaged with the intense brightness from the outside. She wondered that something felt slightly different than she used tom but was unsure what it was exactly. She reached under her pillow and grabbed her purple blinged phone, tapping on the screen just to question the time. It was 9 in the morning, much earlier than she would have expected it to be. Knowing her normal self, she would often continue her laziness and dose off in bed until she had enough, or so to say, 'bored' with what she was doing before finally getting off her bed to do things that were more 'useful'.

Somehow, today she felt different. She felt like there were things to be accomplised, things that could be done, things that could change her life. She took her first step by sitting up on her bed. She glanced around her room, looking at ...

She decided that it was a good day to step out and have a breather or two, smelling in the cool, fresh, breezy wind that swept through her soft silky hair. As she stood there, she could hear her veins thump to the beating of her heart. She lets go a heave of sigh, reminiscing of what had happened for the past, wondering, pondering.




and... I lost track of what I was trying to impose in this.

I was about to kill that character. But I figured it started off too nice to be murdered in the end, I didn't know what to do then. HAHAHAHAHA

dangit.

Ultimate, has become something that I look forward to. Preferably just to practise tossing, and not much of the real game. Simply because it felt like I am not ready to face the fierce-ness of the competition yet, also the fact that I would end up contributing as a dead weight to the team. Ultimate has somehow turned into one of my passions, a newly found one. In a way, it has blown my mind from the start, I wanted to know how much more this game would blow my mind further.

The physics of the frisbee disk, had to be mastered. The flick of the wrist, as the key point of this game, getting the disk moving or being passed. The swing of the arm, where is steers the direction to where the disk flies towards. The movement of the body, that determines the strength of the throw. The basics. Forehand and backhand. Then you have other variants of throws; huck, dump, layout are the few common ones that I hear. Anticipation and that nervous feeling when someone aims for a long throw. Would have to say it is the most risky throws to make, it was either make or break at the end zone.

Then comes running. The ungodly amount of running that has to be done throughout this game. It was either offence or defence. Either way, there will be alot of running to do, especially during a turn over. D's are usually praised for being able to prevent the disk from moving forward. The whole point of the game: penetration of defense. Kinda reminds me of tf2, except this was the real deal with real energy being used. It is usually the term 'mark' that is used when we happen to be on the D, whereby we would follow this particular player, preventing them from getting open space to have a chance at the disk. The offence, would have to outsmart the Ds to get the disk moving forward.

Turnover? The roles are reversed. Takes place when the disk touches the ground during passings, if the disk flies out of the field, or the O took more than ten seconds to pass the disk. In my opinion, this has got to be the most tiring point of the game. It is both frustrating for the initial Os, but it's now a chance for the initial Ds to have a go at it. It's like a shift of direction, when the wind blows to the right, and then it just switches and you are going towards the left almost immediately.

Strategies. The one part that I have yet to fully grasp. Backhand force home. Stack. Cup. Zone. As I stand in line about to play, listening to captain telling us his plans, I tried understanding, but my head was more like: what on earth are you gibbering about? I could not fathom this ultimate language that was going on. At least not yet.
Stack is an offence strategy, when you have players stacked in the middle with first cutter, second cutter to the 4th. Plan was that if the first cutter couldnt get the disk, the second cutter would cut out in time to get it. If the first cutter gets it, it is then passed to the third cutter, second to fourth. But of course the defenders would have known, which is why it is ever more difficult than the strategy forsee.

Cup is a defence strategy, where you have three defenders on the player who is throwing the disk. Probably one of the hardest to penetrate, at least as far as I could see..

What does Break mean? There were just so many terms that I have yet to fully understand. Hahahahaha! Horizontal. Ohhh myyy.

Where would I fare as of now? The one who runs around the field trying to understand the game a little more..?
When I should be analysing the opponents and thinking of how to penetrate their strategies. Though it does question me, if both have got strategies to counter each other, then wouldnt it cancel each other out? I mean it is only by chance that one strategy would be better than the other one, and nobody could tell until the point is being scored. Then again, they will set another strategy by the end of that match.. No?

Mind = blown

Last of all, there wouldn't be a team if it wasnt for its members. I have gotten to know an awesome bunch of people, and it amazes me to see the connection and understanding between these people. Even if it was not for this one team, you could still see that spark of passion in each and everyone who plays. It is as though they were their own cheerleaders of their own team.

It just feels different, being exposed to ultimate. As though it had been a whole different world on its own, a secret society or somesort.

I feel blessed to have met each and everyone of them throughout my whole first month of frisbee experience, especially Ei Jean and Cendol / Running Man. Their journey has made me envious of what they had achieved thus far. It made me want to experience similar experiences that they are had.

I may be new, but I have learned enough to have this as a memory that is worth looking back to, and feeling absolutely proud of.

Thank you Ei Jean!
Thank you Cendol / Running Man!

Hwaiting~!! <3

Here is one suicidal habit about me. When something interests me, I will go all out in trying to find the core to it. It works fine, if it applies to education and other useful stuff. But it is normally the social stuff that gets me curious the most, as I find it difficult to understand society.

This bad habit of mine involves me, beating around a bush, knowing there is a secret hidden within its dark and shady appearance. By the norm, it would have looked completely normal, nothing interesting at all, where people would not have a second look at. But I, was stupid enough to actually stop and immediately start scavenging for bits and pieces around it that could give me a clue or two about this one big, fluffy bush right there in my face.

At this point, it feels like I a complete psycho, pondering about what appears to be nothing. It gets me thrilled to have a few ideas and thoughts about what I was frolicking about. I get excited, but nobody actually bothers about what I discovered. Which of course, is completely normal. As I question myself why I do that, I continue finding answers to prove myself wrong.

The problem heightens as I accidentally found a loop hole, and I fall into this 'magical unknown kingdom'. As I fall, I find myself being bombarded with extensive information that I had been beating about all these while. It made me thought: why on earth did I get so overly curious about this in the first place. It somewhat feels like I have hit the jackpot, somewhat like I made it through and got what I wanted. But it was somehow, too overwhelming.

Its as though you have seen something, and there is no way you could possibly un-see something.

What happens when I manage to break through? I, stop functioning almost immediately.

It's almost like a truce, where you  choose to understand what exactly is happening, or you choose to leave with millions of questions in your head unanswered. Either way, it is impossible that you could talk about this to the rest of the world, cause you started off as the maniac, searching for apparently nothing. What makes you think they would believe what you say?

I am not a perfect person, but I would want to read all my flaws and be a better person. But who should I ask, to know what I am doing wrong, or what I am doing right?

Trial and error, they say.
But with every one success you get, you have millions of flaws behind your back. What is the point?

:/

I speak, through my blog.

It literally speaks of everything I could ever possibly think of as compared to when I talk. It doesn't feel like I am burdening anyone by posting my thoughts on my blog, as it is not a pressure to say: YOU MUST READ ME.

Though I really get fascinated when someone does ask me about my life, based on my blog. Faith in humanity, restored?

Meh.

Maybe the reason why I chose to study zoology after all. Eventhough we all know that passion is the main reason that steers us towards success in the future. The way I look at my future, doesnt seem as bright as how parents would see it (society too). It somehow seems like a no-brainer kind of field to choose from, or some could say 'silly'.

Obviously parents would be worried if your future job wouldn't be able to provide you a good income. I believe that they secretly wants you to have that money to take care of them once they are older. Also, I guess their experiences gives them that parent-ly instinct in hopes for a secure future for your future family. Somehow, it outweighs that push to enhance the child's passion. Asians, why?

Anyway, this was somehow that one thing I managed to push through despite all the negative impressions I got as a result of answering the question: 'so.. You wanna work in the zoo?' How is it possible that I could have this question fresh in my head every single time I mention the word ZOOlogy. It feels like I have to explain from where the animals originates from and the importance to them being around before we humans came to life, and still living til this very day.

Then to think about how ignorant majority of the people are, I just give up immediately and say: 'it isn't necessary, I could work in the wild and do some research there'. Then of course, the conversation dies there. Thus the intriguing feeling when someone actually asked more beyond that question. A sigh of relief to my soul when that happens, non-ignorant people towards animals still exists! <3

Also on the norm, people would respond: 'oh! Interesting'.

Word.

Then to think again, they may be thinking of how suicidal I am by doing this, or how rich my family is for allowing me to do this.

I haven't even started my core major yet, but I know I have this passion for animals. Starting next semester, I am pretty much full on with my biology combo. Though I have to admit, I despise plants. It feels like they are there to block the beauty of the animal kingdom, cause without plants, there wouldn't be any life forms. Somehow feels like they ate God, all of a sudden. LOL.

I guess it is just that self satisfaction in trying to find answers to prove that my thoughts about animals are true. For instance, maybe after every new discovery that is new to my system would make me go, 'HA! IN YOUR FACE, SOCIETY!' That, will be insane. But my aim is to find the reason to change the society's mindset about animals. It doesn't feel fair at all, whenever I see the interaction between humans and animals.

Just recently I had a thought of how Dogs, became man's best friend. I was pondering upon the logic of humans taking in dogs as puppies, and complains ay every thing it does that doesnt please us. I could not fathom. Then I starting wondering, what it would be like if it was out in the wild, brought up naturally by its own parents. Ironically, dogs were my first encounter with animals in my life, and they were the reason to why I love animals to a level whereby I wanted to study them. Now I am questioning if I would ever want to have a pet, ever again. :X

Even if I don't get to change the society, by finding bits and pieces if evidence, here and there.. I guess I could die in peace, then?

Besides, I really can't imagine what other fields I could venture in. I've got no brains for medicine or engineering, I've got no logic in any of the business field nor arts field. The only thing left were dancing and singing (even this, I suck at.. ).

There is never one thing that is not difficult. You just need to begin from somewhere, and then push through. Barging through, isn't the way out either. Pushing in a way where you stay mentally strong and physically healthy through it all.

Loves!

Today, would be the first time I am taking public transport from my sister's all the way to uni. Giving myself an estimation of 2 hours of travel time, we shall see what happens. At the mean time, I shall use my time to do some writing. :D

It used to be me being all nerdy, reading novels whenever I could. I know that nerdy part of me hasn't left me, as I have several books in my drawer, hoping that I will have a chance to read it somehow. But when I think of the list of things to do, I would always feel slightly sad, as I would have to let it go. Would have to say that some sacrifices had to be made, in way for other much more important stuff to do; like studying and socialising much more. Same thing with gaming, if you would ask me. It is something that I would love to do, that I would keep it for the very last after I am done with all the other mundane things I have to do.

Not seeing the point of enjoying myself when there still is a huge chunk of responsibility of deal with. You could say, that I am still in my first year, it shouldnt be as bad. Honestly, I will never know until I am given the chance to actually experience it for my own, right? As of now, what I look at, is the toughest as it could get. Yes, I am aware that it gets much more difficult from here on. But I am going to have to take that slowly. *consequently, I will be very slow in improving, actually. Mehhh. Screw that.

Right now, I could see a significant change in me when I compare this semester to the one before. Both good and bad. When I got back from my first winter break, I told myself that I will not allow myself to be the same as I was back in the first sem. Simple reason was because my depression was written all over my face, blog and almost everything I could get my hands on. It is possible that I was holding on to my past a little too much, and I found it incredibly difficult to let go. My main goal this semester was to let lose (and loose), and indulge whatever that is brought up to my plate. Literally. Also to meet up with whoever who is willing to meet up with me, and forget those people who give no crap about contacting me.

Mean. It's nice being mean once in a while, especially when the person deserves it. But how could you tell whether he or she deserves it or not?

Besides, I definitely cry and complain less about things now. I just couldnt bother anymore. I was too busy getting myself busy. Heh! I even gotten too lazy to cook my own meals, p meals every now and then because I couldnt be bothered. It's bad, I know. But.. sometimes, I just couldnt help it.

This semester, I have been travelling more than ever. I started this semester off with a ski camp up at fall's creek, with Malaysians from other universities. Had my chance to mingle about, and also my first ever experience of real snow! :F Then my sister who lives further away than she used to. It only made sense if I spent my weekend at her place instead of one dinner-trip. Also, a field trip to Rawson for my geography unit. I got to understand Australian culture a little more than I normally would be exposed to ( still yet to have an Australian friend, though :X ).

Then came ultimate frisbee. I made an effort to meet up with my high school senior, just for the sake of it. Thank god for that effort, otherwise I would have no idea on which emo planet I would be levitating about today. Story cut short, I got to meet these awesome bunch of people who calls themself, Running Man or from their initial name, Cendol. Also not to forget that I got exposed to the game of Ultimate. Still mind blowing, still mind blowing.

Last semester, MUMSU literally saved my soul. They held activities that gave me a platform to mingle around with fellow Malaysians studying in Clayton. Now? I am one of the committee. A sponsorship officer, they say. Got me a little whacked out, as I grew to know that clubs and societies in university level is beyond the limits of high school. But it's a good exposure, still. I mean, if I don't get that chance to learn this now, when will I ever?

It feels a little overwhelming with so much going on within the past 1 and a half month. In about 18 days from today, I will be on my flight home again. But it will be a very short trip, cause my exam happens to be 'dropping by' at the end of this month. I haven't been nerding as much as I used to. Which can be pretty worrying.

The one subject that I am most concern of, would be Chemistry. I remember very well that when I first started this semester for this unit, I was clueless. There were just too many calculations, that it just made me panic even more. I am alright with both my biology units (except the part where it involves plants). Then my geography unit was pretty closely related to one of my bio unit. Seems alright, really. Just really worried for my chemistry. Its the first paper too. 29th of October, I will soooooooooo dread that day. :(

Oh, and I have decided to continue with playing Ultimate. It feels like there is still so much more to learn about this game. :F

Also partially hoping I still get the chance cheer again, in some way, some how. :/

Midway point! On the train to Huntingdale. 45 mins bus ride from my sis' to Melbourne Central, then.. ?

Octoberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.