29th of Feb. By right it marks my third week here in aussie. And also the first day of my forth week here. What's significant about it is that it's a leap year this year. Somehow, I always am excited about the 29th of Feb. No reason really. It's just so rare. Haha. :)

Walking toward my class this morning. Have been having difficulties getting up, and I resulted to taking the bus to uni and walking home. It costs me quite some money for a short one way trip like that, but I was too lazy to walk for half an hour long, rushing all the way to uni for my first class. It just felt too tiring to do so. :P

Am loving uni life as of now. Fact that I am studying again after a long three months break, it felt more of a relief that I get to study again. :P Though I may feel slightly left out for what is being taught is the continuation of what we learned last year, I still am quite pleased that all my memory had not gone down the drain completely.

*See. Taking bus is better. I arrive early to class and I dont feel tired nor sweaty. :P

Best part, the lectures have online classes as well. It is where we students get to revise our studies with the audio recordings they have and all the notes are available online. Not to forget that they also provide time for people to come by and meet them, asking questions as much as they can. Well, after all, this is what we all paid for, might as well abuse the use of it, no?

Being in uni is flexible, you do things according to how you feel like. If you dont accumulate enough points to graduate, you dont graduate! As simple as that. Haha! It really is that simple. Everything is dependent on yourself now, the lecturers can't even help if you are not gonna help yourself. You are allowed to choose your classes, you don't have your attendance taken, which means you can just disappear without informing anyone.

I like how it feels like walking around monash uni. Somewhat feels like I belong here, the environment is perfect for studying. :D

First lecture of the day : chemistry.

So far, my fav lecture would be my chemistry lecturer. Somehow, I thought my favourite would be bio, but my bio lecturer is not as entertaining as chem. Maybe 2nd to chem, but geo and math would not be even near the two. Geo was ultimately boring and so is maths. Though what is being discussed in geo did spark my interest. What I learn in this specific unit of geo is what catastrophes are happening on earth. Some kind of hidden reason behind all those natural or non natural phenomenon that happens throughout the globe.

Though what annoys me is how much bio, chem and physics are related to one another. In my bio class, I learn more chemistry than bio, in chem class, I learn more physics than chem. But somehow in the end, they would all go back to the basicbof bio and chem. It is like they need another form of science to explain another form of science. Doubt that physics could have any relations with chem and bio, more like it is the cause that both chem and bio exists. Which is... rather complicating. :|

Falling sleep. ;( I still have a 2pm class to go. :/

And today, I have ventured into the arts block of the uni. It's pretty massive. They have got like lifts and probably the tallest buildings around campus. :O AND THEY EVEN HAVE FOUR REVOLVING DOORS!!! Automated revolving doors. It feels like I am in some corporate building. And the campus centre is just a walk across the lawn. Hrmmm. I am a science student, havent even knew of the name of this block until today. Hehehehehe. Science. I love science. :)

Too bad I ain't smart and too bad I ain't artistic enough, thank god for the love of animals, I have something to chase after. Life is worth living after all.

Hahahahaha!! I like being a uni student. :D And I do believe I like Monash University here in Clayton. :) It is the perfect surrounding to study and also to socialise, provided I know how to be disciplined, that is. :O

Hoping everyone back at home are enjoying uni as much as I am. Missing everyone dearly. =') <3

Facade.

29th feb.
i shall post something for sure.
just to make it significant.
i just love leap years, :)

Day 1 : ...

The weather was scorching hot, accompanied by the strong winds bellowing through the city. Even the animals had to take shelter from the heat, and dozes of somewhere hidden where WE can't find them. A visit to the zoo like that doesn't seem worth it at all. Am pretty sure that my body was dehydrated and I probably had a mild heatstroke that had caused me to have a slight headache after several hours being roasted by the sun. Had not expected the weather to be that extreme.

And because I thought that the weather would be perfect to dry my clothes properly, i decided to do my laudry, thinking that it would be the perfect weather for my clothes to dry. Little did I know, the weather turned, and it was already raining by the night. I lived about an hour away from the city, it was pretty much impossible for me to pick my clothes up before it rained. :(

Living alone has definitely given me so much more to think of and to learn.
Just today, my sis and her husband got me a cook book, consisting of only 4 ingredients for each and every recipes in the cook book. They even bought me some baking equipments for me to practise my baking skills. A small part in me felt like it was some sort of insult, but to think again, I actually do need the cook book. Considering that I am livinng on myself, at least I now have an idea on what to cook to feed myself everyday. Not to forget about washing my own clothes, I guess I have learned to be more alert on the weather forecast on whether it would rain or not, and if the weather would be hot enough to dry my clothes within a day. What more? I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM AND MY OWN TOILET. Something I never do back at home. What am I talking, I NEVER DO ANYTHING AT HOME! All I did then was just SLEEP, EAT, AND DO MY OWN STUFFS.

Now to think of it, I actually had the whole time in the world for me to do EVERYTHING I could have wanted, but then, I would still complain I had not enough time at all. Right now, I doubt those excuses as, 'not enough time' would be valid in anyway. For if I don't do any of those, my room/my house wouldn't feel livable anymore, and thus, enhance my level of homesickness. In a way, it is good though, it makes me appreciate things much more than I used to. WAYYY MUCH MUCH MORE.

Independence 101 : Guide to living alone after being spoonfed for 18 years.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! :D

Literally I am on my own for everything I do now.
I kinda like how it is, in a way. It may sound a little too overwhelming sometimes, but it still feels like a challege for me. And when i manage to accomplish that one challege, I'd be estatic, and would want to search for more of those moments. :D

Uni life officially starts tomorrow, 27th of Feb 2012.
Let's see where it brings me, shall we? :D

It's the 26th of February today.

I am finally going to the zoo after procrastinating ever since I got here. Today would probably mark the 5th time I am travelling to city on my own using public transportation. Estimation time from where I live just to get to the city would take maximum 2 hours. The rides include a bus and a train. Often a times I would need to take at least two buses before arriving at the train station. Still am not a fan of buses. :/

It was only two days ago that I had my last visit to the city, and it was only then that I truly learn and appreciate where I am currently living. Despite it being ridiculously far from the city and a slight journey just to get to a supermarket, also not forgetting the half an hour walk to uni, I really like how it felt so peaceful. It was a complete difference when I spent the whole day at the city and then returning home to a peaceful and quiet suburb. I would say it is the perfect condition for me to study. For I know, if I ever do want to get out to get some entertainment, I must have a lengthy free time (technically the whole day) just to hunt for them. Nope. I will be too lazy to do that. :P

Today, also marks my birthday. My first ever birthday here in Aussie.

I hate my birthday. I really do. I should be thankful that I am sharing it with a substantial amount of people that I know. When I was a kid, I used to be extremely excited about my birthday. Even happier when I share it when people. Primary school, I had one friend who was in the same class as me during my birthday. High school, I had a friend who was in the same clique of friends as me, who is also my good friend. And then we have college, another one. Basically, every year, I would be celebrating their birthdays instead of mine when the 26th came into play. Though I am thankful that all of my friends still remember when my birthday is, and they made it an effort to celebrate my birthday on other days, just not on the exact date. My cousin sister even has a friend who has the same birthdate as me.

It was either a celebration before or after my birthday, never on it. Which in the end made me felt like, "ah, screw it, I shall just treat my birthday as an ordinary day. That way, I would feel slightly better.' If you really do want to judge me at this point, go ahead, I can't stop what you are thinking either, this is my blog, and I am free to express myself in anyway. Thank you very much. :)

I find it pointless to have a celebration on my birthday anyways,...

LOL! I almost missed my stop. XD

...because I know my friend would have to split up and that would make me feel even worst. Knowing that all my other friends would even plan for them, I dedicated my time to give my friends their birthday celebration. I know I might sound slightly boastful saying that, but deep inside, I would try my darndest to give my friends the birthday celebration I could not Gove myself. :P

Owh. MTV is crap these days. 'sweet16'. That is one crap of a scrappy show. It even got me wanting to have one similar to that too, but then of course, I had to be rational, and rationalism has got me thinking how completely spoilt those brats are. -.- words can't describe how spoilt those people are. It makes me feel like knocking their head onto something hard to seep some sense into their pea sized brains. -.- haha. I was dead jealous, and so, this is what you get. :P

I have awesome friends who still remembers my birthday. Despite me not putting it on public view on facebook. Knowing that I would be here in aussie, they even celebrated my birthday before I came over. Right at this moment, I am reminiscing on how they surprised me with a birthday cake eventhough they already surprised me with the surprise farewell. It's like triple surprise or something. 1. Farewell 2. The amount of people that turned up 3. The birthday celebration . You craaaaazzzyy people. I love you all to bits. =') <3

Anyhoo. To the zoo it is. :)
And a nice dinner with my sister and her husband, and Carmen, a friend since primary school who happens to be here in melb too.

So... I guess I am celebrating it after all.

#Hypocrite

I COOKED MY FIRST MEAL!!!

have been eager to try out cooking on my own all this while, but i never dared myself to do so. even when i have nothing to eat, i would normally just find some random food around that i could shove into my mouth, and avoid cooking altogether. yes, i am that lazy. even when there aren't any food around, i could just starve due to laziness.

i have this laziness where it somehow is rather overwhelming. i could sleep for the whole day and just not eat at all. even when i know it is bad for my health, even when i know i may have chances of getting gastric, i still do it. am not saying that it is a good thing to do, i'm telling you it is the STUPIDEST thing ever to do on a daily life basis.

The laziness has crept into me where i would store myself a stock of ready-to-eat food in my room where i could just grab them and eat whenever i feel like it. currently i have at least 5 different kinds of dry food in my room. raisins, LCMs, timtams, kelloggs frosties, fortune cookies and also some muesli bars. unhealthy as hell. :(
*but i have fruits tooooooooo

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO KICK THIS BAD HABIT OUT OF MY LIFE.
nope. i tried. but i still fail. consistently.

Initially i had some salad and a whole pizza in my fridge, but they expired a little too quickly, and because of my bad habit also, i had to throw them away. :(
lesson learnt : buy food, cook asap, eat immediately.
BUT IF YOU BRING ME OUT FOR FOOD. i will eat. and shove everything into my mouth, and fill my belly with food, and be superbly happy and satisfied. :D
this pattern has got me gaining one kg since i first landed here in Melb.

Food is something that is a must to spend on, everyday. somewhat of a survival thing, eating is a MUST. and we all know eating out is much more pricier than cooking on our own. =/ i guess i have to learn how to cook eventually. and then we have my very first TODAY! :D

i secretly would just hop off to sleep and not eat anything if i wasn't that hungry. :|

so~ i cooked maggi noodles with spaghetti sauce, topped with a few bacon stripes.

sound good for my tummy and appetite. BACON! what more could i ask for? :D
though i have to say, it was quite scary cooking them bacon. i seriously thought it would somehow splatter some how boiling oil onto my skin or do some fancy jumping moves and jump off the frying pan when i was 'frying' them. :|
and i had them noodles a little too soggy, but i like soggy noodles and soggy rice, so i guess it was alright.

today was an achievement after all. :)
now i need to learn how to cook other stuffs. :D

because you know that it is going to be a huge leap ahead, and you need all the strength that you need in order to take that leap. what happens after is unknown, you may have faint visions on what it may be like, but you never know for sure. being optimistic is one, but being brave and strong to do so, is another. the past had prepared you to take the leap, but the courage is still not enough to push you through. you stand there, looking back, longing to stay where you are, then looking forward, knowing it is there that you belong, and everything at the back, will remain there.

sounds like how a dead person with soul still wandering around the surface of the earth, unsure of what to do.

yeap. ghost whisperer and several other dramas somewhat similar to that, has given me the idea. :P

This is a little out of the norm. Hehe.
Just felt like posting this. ;)

...

Friendzone.

Have been browsing through 9gag pretty often these days, and it surprises me on how addicting it can get. Either by somebody actually creating them or even just by scrolling through each and every one of the posts. It reflects on the everyday life things in comical manner. Mostly on things that we wouldnt realise on normal terms. It is rather entertaining if you ask me. People are paying attention to tiny little details now. Come to think of it, it could actually get a tad bit scary. ._.

9gag had been around for quite abit. I remember beginning of last year where my friend was making memes on random things. I even found one with my name in it. No clue who did it, but it does look pretty cool despite it possibly being a prank. Would probably try googling it again later to see if it's still there. But as the year passed, the 9gag community was expanding at an alarming rate. By mid of 2011, almost everybody was talking about it already. A marriage proposal even made out of memes. Would have to say 9gag is somewhat the new social website where it has been incorporated into real time. Somewhat of a habit to the society today as well. Thanks to the continuous growth of the 9gag readers, 9gag has to upgrade its website quite occasionally too.

Looking at how much it has impacted the society today, I couldnt help but to fall into peer pressure and flow along with them. I speak 9gag now too. Even abusing the word "likeaboss" when it isnt as 'famous' as it used to be now. It literally means, doing things and not feel bothered about what others think of you when you are doing it. We Asians even change the boss into the Chinese version - likealousai. Probably because a Chinese boss seems more ignorant than a normal boss. Then there is a trend where they give levels to certain things, and ASIAN became a whole level on its own.

Though it has brought some vocabs into today's conversations, where words from 9gag fits in easily into the conversations. One noted word that had got my attention where it seems like it had became a whole issue on its own. One that had became a frequent talked about topics amongst youtubers. Right now, I am tempted to write my opinion regarding this topic too. :D friendzone it is. :)

How I see what friendzone means :
- You like the other person but he/she does not acknowledge it, and only treats you as a friend.

Is it a bad thing, really?
I would say it is rather sad to know that you are being friendzoned. Probably because a friend treatment is all you can get out of the person that you fancy, even after doing tremendous amount of things for him/her. As a counter react to that, you can't really expect a response from the other party when they don't know what is actually happening.

So what is it that is making one, willing to wait? Despite knowing that their being friendzoned. It is as though the word 'friendzone' is being used as a for of complaint. What I don't understand is, why complain when you could actually do something about it, or even better, give up, and move on?

In a way that I would see it, if things had been put in a way where we would need to wait, does it not mean it is some sort of an indication that we were actually waiting for nothing? We do see many cases where one could most probably wait forever, yet still being stuck at that same position. How do you actually tell them, put in some realisation to them, that it is time for them to let go?

I guess I got annoyed with the excessive use of the word 'friendzone'. Instead of complaining, I am very sure there are ways to pull you out of that zone, provided you tried. And when you do try putting in some effort, it would either change things or it would not. And by then, you would have the answer you have been longing for.

"God! Why is it always me?!"
Instead of that, why not ask yourself, why are you being such a loser for not trying to do what you are supposed to do, or even get the hint that He is trying to tell you? Dumbass. Stop complaining, would you?

As difficult it is to move on, you will eventually move on. Though it could be rather cliche to say that 'time will heal wounds', well, it actually does work. Stop thinking that it won't, and you'll see the results someday in the future.

It probably just isnt your time yet.
Just hang in there.
He or she will come by someday, somehow.

Stop using the word friendzone. :)
I have argued my point.

increased appetite = increased weight.

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!
48.4kg. nyehehehehehehehehehe
lets just hope I won't turn fat. :X

muesli bars? i used to find them tasting funny.
i guess everything tastes good when you're hungry.
:O

increased appetite. me gusta!

The Australian Accent.

My cousin sister's husband is an aussie. Since I have been staying with them for the past one and a half week, it isnt abnormal that we argue about how we pronounce things. Honestly, eventhough me and my sis were brought up in an english speaking family, using english as our day to day conversation, when it comes in clashing with the Australian accent, it really does clash hard.

As a Malaysian, we tend to have different ways of pronouncing things. One example, Gippsland. How we pronounce it : JIPP-SS-LEND. How they pronounce it : GIPP-SS-LAND. They tend to exaggerate on how they pronounce certain alphabets too. The word example : Hello. How we pronounce it : HEH-LLO. How they pronounce it : HEH-LOW. The 'O' sound here is exaggerated in a way, where they would add an extra O somewhere behind the existing O. Word : Zoology. Us : ZOO-LO-GI. Them : ZOO-O-LO-GI. YOU SEE! Got me really confused when they were asking me what I was intending to study at Monash. I though I was hearing it wrongly, thinking that they were saying the word BIOLOGY or something else with the O-logy in it. It wasn't until I was enrolling for my subjects and this counsellor kept going on and on mentioning ZOO-O-LO-GI.

This would be the usual way when they meet someone, 'Hello there! How are you doing today?' It makes you look like a rude bastard if you had not replied to that sentence. I guess a mere, 'Good, thank you' would be enough? Maybe I would need to brush up how to respond to that. But yes, this happens everywhere, at the restaurant, at the supermarket, where ever that requires customer services.

Not to forget the way that they mention the time. I have yet to fully understand what they meant when they mention the time. They mention them in words, where we lazy people would only mention the time immediately. eg, A quarter to one. I honestly thought it meant 1.15 because I caught the word 'quarter' and the word 'one', completely missing out the word on 'to'. I guess I was too used to only mentioning the time straight forward so that it would not confuse others. Since we have the very famous Malaysian Time, I would normally set the time in numbers, knowing that I myself have difficulties understanding worded times, numbered times seems so much more convenient.

Some other examples, other. Us : ut-therr , Them : ut-tha.

Really finding it rather difficult to capture their accent. When I see an asian communicating with good aussie accent, I would be blown away and be amazed by how they manage to capture it.

I'd like to have the aussie accent too! :D

Mobile number, done.
Bank account, done.
Class timetable, done.
Orientation, done.
Move into own home, done.

Have been here for exactly 2 weeks now, it seems to be getting colder by the day too. Honestly, I haven't got used to the weather here still. It could be hot in the afternoon, ranging from about 25 to even 33, and then dropping to about 14 to 15 at night. No clue why, plus the fact that it is Summer now, I am scared to death on what I will have to face during Winter. :X

I guess it is about time to talk about my uni. :)

Where I am studying at, is called Monash Clayton. This campus is the biggest campus of Monash as compared to the other... 5 campuses Monash has all around Melbourne. Other campuses are, Parkville, Caulfield, Berwick, Gippsland and Peninsula. Would have to say I got really estatic that i got accepted into Clayton, as the requirements here are the highest amongst all 6. Initially I thought I would be the only one of my peers, roaming around the Clayton grounds completely alone, but no, I found out that I will be accompanied by at least 7 others of whom took AusMat with me the previous year. I didn't feel like i was that alone anymore, somehow. It did lifted me a little. :P

Clayton campus is so huge that a map is really necessary to have when roaming around the grounds. Walking would be the best way to get around in campus, but i guess a bicycle would have about the same advantage as walkers around here too. Best ways to walk around campus is to sneak and walk through buildings to get to the other block of building. On second thought, the bicycle wouldn't even have excess through the buildings, heh, i shall take back my words now. :X But the campus is really that big. And the roadways are only on the outer side of the whole are. As mentioned earlier, it is after all the BIGGEST campus out of all the campuses Monash has, I guess this was really expected. :X

The buildings here look pretty oldish but not too oldish at the same time. Am not too sure how long this campus has been around, but I do like how the conditions of the buildings and the lawns are here. They have this bus loop where several buses will stop by and provide easy excess form of transportation for students and staffs alike. Parking here, however is a problem though. One has to have a parking permit in order to park in the area. There are only 2 parking bays around here, which means you would still need to walk quite a distance to where ever you are headed to. As for me, where i live is considerably near. However, it has been my 2nd day walking home from campus, I have very little to NOT complain about. :P

And the complaining commences:
- it takes me half an hour to walk
- for a silly person like me who always has a lot of stuff in my backpack, it tends to strain my back for a bit
- for a very unhealthy person like me to walk such a distance after a whole year of not exercising at all, it tends to be a little bit too tiring
- it gets pretty hot in the afternoon
- eventhough it's hot, the wind blows and it turns chilly. it confuses me whether to be wearing thick clothings or light clothings
- threats of rain

With all these complaints, I know I shouldn't be the princess complaining about it. But honestly, I think getting a bicycle would help alot. But as of now, I'm still thinking whether I should stop complaining like a princess or I should just get a bike and that would be the end of the complaints.

hrmmm.
Maybe I should give it a months try on this walking thing. At least give it another go, maybe? Maybe I could actually get used to it by the end of next month... just maybe.

Though as of now, I am proud to say that I am a student here in Monash Clayton. Without fail, I must have this constant reminder that I had narrowly made to cut from getting into this Uni. And since I am here now, I am going to appreciate every moment I have here. :)

I am a Monash Clayton student.
24050660
BADASS STUDENT ID NUMBER! :D

And i have shifted into my own place. :)

YEAY!
Honestly, i was really nervous about shifting in initially. Probably because it was quite sudden and i was just about to get used to where i was living; with my sister. But i knew i needed to shift out somehow, and now the day has finally come. :D

What i didn't expect was how much i actually needed to spend when i have to shift into a new place. As though i had not need to shop enough back in Malaysia to bring some supplies over, today, i still had an amount of things to shop. From plates, to comforters, pillows and most importantly, FOOD. Yeap. I actually missed that part out. All in all, i spent almost 1k on them. Not to mention on my rent and i stupidly purchased myself a brand new phone. :( Right now, i am already in my 3rd week here, and i have already spent that much. I FEEL PRESSURED!

Now that i have to live on my own, I have to control what i am spending on, necessities, transportation and also, FOOD. Food would be my most major issue. I tend to spend alot on food and I would find all sorts of reasons just to get myself FOOD. :/ Yet i have troubles eating. For i know I would tend to get lazy and would just skip eating altogether at times. Which in turn is rather risky, especially now that I am living on my own. It is about time that I have to start taking care of myself. hehe

Loving my new home. :) The housemates here are extremely friendly. It makes me feel as though I am some rude person. Also, I just found out that I am the youngest amongst them. Two of them are Aussies, and one, Japanese. I feel like a kid, knowing that i'm the youngest around here. Eventhough I may be the youngest here, one of the aussie housemate I met, looks so much younger than me. -.-
Also liking the fact that i have my own bathroom. Now that i have the luxury of it, I do feel fortunate that i have my own bathroom. :D
One thing i dislike about this area is the fact that the road towards this house is rather dark. The first time i walked through that walkway towards the house, my head was going, "oh shoot. what if my friends know that i have a phobia of darkness and they would just pop up and scare the crap out of me?!". Yeap. It is that dark that i started freaking myself out as i walk towards the door. :(
On another note, my room has quite dull lightings. Perfect for sleeping, though I am not too sure about studying. :/

But anyhow, I am loving where I'm staying right now.
Orientation is tomorrow. Fingers crossed I'll find a good bunch of friends then. :)

Regardless, I still miss home. :)
<3

it's time to shift into my own place!

honestly, i am slightly anxious about moving in. in a way, it is marking the official beginning of my own life. settling things on my own, getting to places on my own, making sure i eat properly, being independent, 95% independent maybe, definitely not a 100 yet. hehe. well all i know about this new place is that there will be two australians and one japanese staying there. as of now, i'm seeing myself as one very antisocial person. i know it will take time for me to blend in with them, but it doesnt feel like i am as brave to be super friendly yet. where i will be living, will be a twenty minutes walk away from uni, but as of now, i'm not too sure how long it will take me to reach campus, i guess i will eventually figure it out by next week. had an initial plan of getting a bicycle to cut my journey short. but looking at where i am staying, cycling at that area seems quite dangerous, especially for a noobie cyclist like me who knows nothing about the australian road rules. even to get to the nearest town, taking the bus is only possible. walking there for a leisure walk is fine, but i doubt it will be as joyful when i walk home with a few bags of groceries in hand.

now, the question is, how long would it take for me to get acquainted with the other three girls in that house? i am fine being antisocial, but it just isnt nice being antisocial. i would need to communicate with them sometime somehow. hrmmmmmm
this is my first time living on my own. :(
forgive meeeeeeeeee

if i had no problems with my spine, i would have definitely joined a cheerleading squad here. cheerleading is still growing here, probably better based that back in malaysia. would've given me better exposure. nope. i have a spine problem, however much i wish to join one, health wise, it will still be worrying.

getting a phone here is simple. you choose your phone, you choose your plan, and you're good to go. wait. i'm not an aussie, thus currency is the bigger problem to me. i am trying my best to keep my malaysian number in my Xperia mobile, simply because i did not want to lose all those contacts information i had in there. also because i was doubting that people would actually be contacting me through my aussie number, thus the reluctant attitude. then i came up with the idea of getting a new phone, just for my aussie number. i thought maybe at least with it, i can have internet excess as the free wifi excess here is rather limited. have been searching around for better options and also the phone that i would like to use. came across nokia N9. it was using a platform that no other phone was using, yet. and it came in the colour blue. knowing how i like to be different from everyone else, it tempted me badly. it wasnt normal that we could see a coloured smartphone around anyways. a BLUE smartphone, with MeeGo system.

didn't like the windows system and iPhone was highly overrated. was looking around for android as i was used to it's system already. but MeeGo was somewhat similar to android, but much simpler. not as much folders and swipes needed to use it. rather simple, and it's BLUE!! :D
after much surveying, it is only today that i have decided that i should stick to my current plan, and upgrade it into the postpaid. what Vodafone, Optus and Telstra offers are considerably much more expensive than what i found today. though i may not be sure that i would use up to the amount i pay for, but it still does seem much more worth it. besides, the others did not have the blue n9 as they only have the black one.
solution: purchase the blue one elsewhere, 469aud and get the postpaid plan. 4gig of data useage, unlimited texts, unlimited calls for a whole month, costing 40aud per month.
other companies offering the price of service plus mobile would cost about 99aud per month for 24 months for unlimited usage. or, 5aud9 per month for 1.5gig data and limited usage.
:D
and i will get myself a blue smartphone. YEAY!

lol. my post today sounds rather boring.
i feel bored typing this even, but i just feel like typing something.
hadn't have the mood to go anywhere since that weekend's trip to the city.
been rotting at home like nobody's business. :P

anyhow.
as much as i miss home, thank goodness for the internet excess and also the lively social net work we have today. have had several calls through skype since i landed, and they have been keeping me company and sanely sane up til today. yesterday's session was the best. had a brief chat with my dear friend whom i miss dearly, and followed by a 4-5 hours session with up to 11 of my ausmat coursemates. it may sound really hectic and really laggy, but it was alright. would have to say it was one of the best sessions i have ever had. just to hear those voices and feel like i am still back at home, makes me feel comforted. :)

haven't been updating my facebook much. for i know my mother stalks me on facebook, i am trying not to make her worried as much as i can. right now, i have a new stalker on my blog, my sister. :P but i guess i can't stop her from reading my posts. cause my blog is where i let myself free, and it is a place where people would only read when they choose to read. at least i still have my freedom. it feels good sharing my thoughts with people who cares too. i miss my aunt though. i miss how we used to talk about random things about life and i can't do that anymore. gets a tad bit upsetting. will make it an effort to call her more once i'm settled with my mobile stuff.

lets have a separate paragraph especially for my dear mummy. she has been calling me everyday as many times as she could. i could not help but to feel bad that she is worried about me. i understand that it is rather difficult for her to accept the fact that i am going to live my life on my own and it worrying the crap out of her. i have no idea how to make her believe that i will be alright on my own either. fact that she is so worried about me is making me doubt my own abilities in taking care of myself. MUMMY! I WILL BE FINE! GIVE ME SOME TRUST! and money I WILL BE FINE! take care of yourself mummy, let me learn life my way and i will eventually find a way to take care of you when i'm done. :) ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i'll be fine, really. love you!

thank goodness for the existence of whatsapp.
thank goodness for the existence of twitter mobile.
thank goodness for the existence of blogger.
thank goodness for the existence of my laptop.
thank goodness for the existence of smartphones.
thank god everybody is still fine. :)

i love you! <3

It really is peaceful here. The people here do care for each other more eventhough they may be strangers. They mingle around rather happily. Not much of the awkwardness could be felt, really. Other than the fact that I an Asian and would probably behave rather rudely towards them. But what really is happening, would be a rather significant culture shock to us. Back home, we would be treated rather rudely even when we were only trying to order a meal. Then there were drivers who are much more laid back here too. Though I might still find the road system here rather screwed up and could be slightly dangerous, fact that they were courteous and patient enough, you could barely hear them complain when they drive. I would say, the drivers were forced to be that way because of the system. But it looks like it served the country well indeed. :) you park at a wrong bay, you get a ticket. You speed just a little over the speed limit, you get a ticket. You walk across the road when there is a pedestrian crossing just close by, you get a ticket too. But hey, it's whats keeping the city peaceful, no? Unlike back in Malaysia where we even have discounts for our tickets, to encourage people to pay up their tickets at a discounted price.

Basically, we just didn't care. Nothing to blame on this side, but it really is how our society works. Thus over here, it will somehow be a culture shock either way. Only when you start to look into things in depth like what I have been doing for the past whole week out of boredom, I could see myself living here for the rest of my life.

Heck. To even be here is like a dream come true. To be able to study here even, does secretly makes me feel like a spoilt brat. Experiencing a new culture as a whole, forces you to grow up somehow, to be a better person is the goal. Given such opportunity, one should really treasure and appreciate. Definitely a turning point in life. :)

***

Sometimes it gets too quiet that it literally drives me insane. :P

Thank goodness that I have an acceptable sense of direction. Would have to thank my sister for that though. I remember that one time where I felt the tremendous amount of pressure where she just gave me a map and told me to direct her, my aunt and my uncle through the streets of Hanoi, Vietnam to any place I would think be nice for a visit. That, had given me the chance to actually learn how to lead and take control of the directions and apply it on my daily life. And throughout the whole of last year, I was practically one of those who leads people to places whenever we were in a convoy, or even when I had to travel alone. What she had taught me then, had been really useful, especially for the past whole week.

Right now, I am slightly boastful of that fact that I know my directions well. I made it a point where I would not go anywhere if I was not sure of where I was headed. If it was to places that I have never travelled to, I would definitely look up on google map, to look for routes that I would be more familiar with. I thank god for my picturesque memory as I tend to remember how certain roads have certain distinct features on them. These had allowed me to feel rather safe and sure that I was headed for the right direction.

GPS? I never believed in them. In fact, I would even laugh at those who uses GPS and yet get lost. For I know there are times where the system would get confused and would lead us to another direction altogether. There is no point putting the blame anywhere, it's just a mere miscommunication between the human and the system. It would definitely freak the driver out when the GPS says, 'Recalculating'. For when the GPS says so, we know that we had taken the wrong route and would have to take a detour. Possibly costing more time too.

Being in a foreign country when you have no prior knowledge on how or where a certain place is at, all one can do is rely on their inner instincts into getting to their destinations. There are people who would just take a taxi, and none would be to worry about while others would be busy asking around for directions. I personally prefer not to ask people for directions, chances are, we would get confused with our initial plan and would have a higher chance of getting lost. Another factor would also be that that fact that they knew where or what exactly they are talking about, but we would have a communication breakdown, and there we have ourselves some lost tourists.

I hate feeling lost.
Probably because I am always lost pn normal terms, this is just one thing that I do not want to be lost in.

I feel much more independent now. And with this extra point I have in me is helping me feel secure with my decisions at some point of time. Fact that I had only been walking around the campus once, today I walked through it as though I have already been there for a month long. Though I may not have toured the blocks properly yet, but it does definitely feel like I am fitting in rather alright. I had to take a bus and two trains from uni all the way back to where my sister lives, I would pretty much be complaining my ass off if I didnt have the courage to take public transportation on my own like that. It was definitely a step forward for me, and it is helping me feel that I will be alright living in Australia on my own from now on.

I tend to tease my friends from time to time for not knowing their directions, for I know how much it had helped me, I guess I wanted them to have that same confidence and security as I had, also adding in with some independence as well. As much as I tease them, I would still try to make them take up the courage to start taking initiative to learn about their directions. Safe to say, this was an advantage for me as I begin to roam into the future that I know nothing of.

There are times where I truly hate myself for who I am, and what I do. Yes, it really is rather stupid of me to feel so, but I do. I have the tendency to push people into doing things they wouldn't normally do. Somewhat generates the inner courage in me to push myself too. What I never understand is the fact that each individual have their own tolerance in things which they can handle. In my case, I will assume my limit is a self given excuse, thus I push myself to a point where I would risk it all and hurt myself in the end. I fail to accept that others could not handle such tensions as much as I could. For when I think that I am about to go too far beyond my limit, I would actually push myself further, when others would already know when or where to stop.

I'm sorry.

And so, today I woke up with a purpose.

It's my enrollment day today. One step indeed. After a whole week of laziness, I had to turn in early last night and get myself up early for the first time since I got here, just for this day. Significant. Probably one that I should remember. Probably one that I will forget somehow. Haha. We'll see. But now that it's written down, there is no way this day is gonna vanish like every other day. It has been recorded. :X

And so, today I have turned into the anti-social person whom we all know on day 1. Not too sure how long I would stay this way, but it would probably remain this way for quite some time. First day's impressions are the ones that people will remember for the rest of their lives. That's what people say, for I have a bad memory in remembering how I know 98% of the people and what I thought if them at the first glance. For me, those first impressions will somehow blend into the person that they really are. Heh.

Whoa.

Nah. I am still rather anti-social. There weren't many people during the talk about enrolment. Met a malaysian 2nd year student. But yeah, I didnt really get to talk to her. Right now, I'm waiting for my turn to enrol. It's taking some time probably cause they need to discuss properly before they enrol. In front of me, there are some hong kees. Noted by the way they speak their dialect. And on my right are two Iranians. Was talking to one of them but it was awkward, and so I didn't bother. But lucky her, she has an Iranian company with her now, chatting away while I am here tapping away on my phone. Also am thinking how would I settle with my courses/units enrollment. Hungryyyy. Shall walk around the city after I'm done with this. :D

Bio and chem would definitely be a must. But I need a third subject. Hrmm. Psychology or geological sciences? =/ and I need to have a minor in order to graduate BSc. Hrmmm. Double major, zoology and marine bio? :F omg. It sounds really temptinggg. But right now I am feeling rather scared cause I know I'm not a bright student. :( But it does seem like I could do it. I can decide that later on. My first year shall determine my future. :D

...

And I am done with my enrolment! It wasnt as hectic as I thought it would be. Even got myself to arrange my whole three years for a double major in zoology and marine biology. :D I feel like a child. But then again, my 2nd major, marine bio is still an option. Would have to see what lies ahead of me. As of now, I have enrolled myself into bio, chem and geological science. :)

...

Did I mention how much I dislike taking buses as a public transportation? As easy as it is to some people, I still find it rather difficult. For some stops they are quite unpredictable, unsure of the distance where to or from the destination. But anyhow, I took my first bus ride from monash uni to Clayton train station. Feeling rather proud if you ask me. Nehehehehe. And I made friends with a Singaporean. She even gave me her number. Bahahahaha! She's taking law. I feel intimidated. :X hrmm. I think I just discovered my methods of making friends. At least I learned something today. :)

...

Today is rather hot. Same temperature as it would back home in Malaysia. It would probably be in that zone of temperature for the next two to three days. Could easily wear my favourite shorts out. :D headed for the city now. No idea what for this time, but yeah, I'm headed there anyways.

...

There doesnt seem to have anything else to do here in the city. :( And I am having my first proper lunch ever since I got here. Terrible aren't I? Have been sleeping in til late and only having a proper meal, which is dinner. Hehe. Oops. I think I might have spoilt my tummy a little too much there. :/

Correction : I have indeed spoiled my tummy. Having gastric pains at the moment. :( this is what happens when you drastically change your habit out of nowhere. ;(

But anyhoo. Today was a good day.
Owh. It's Valentine's Day too! Happy V Day!! <3

peaceful
serene
safe
beautiful

as you stop in your tracks walking home, you take a peek and gaze up into the night sky. you could see billions of stars of different light intensities lighting up the cloudless sky. accompanied by the sweet smelling breeze that was chilly and cool, blowing into your face. your mind tells you that it is so beautiful that you could just stay there and stare at the sky for the whole night.

=)

the blogging community is wide that i have no idea how did i come across certain things in the first place.

i would have to say, blogging is literally my life at this point of time. what there is in my mind, i would write them down in words, whether in my precious laptop or my handy handphone, i'd make sure i would have my thought written down in one way or another. probable being alone is what got me wanting to write more. knowing that i might actually bore the crap out of my friends if i were to constantly update them and bugging them on any random stuff i could blurt out at that moment. either that, or i would simply post some random words and thoughts on twitter. they really don't link, purely random thoughts to keep myself busy and free from depression.

wouldn't like to admit the fact that i have faced depression a little too much on the norm. even when i am amongst people whom i love dearly, i would often feel left out still. society had brainwashed me into thinking that if i were to admit that i am facing depression, one would tell me off into my face, saying that i am an attention seeking whore. sounds harsh doesn't it? sometimes i really do feel like i need a psychiatrist to talk to about my thoughts. knowing that it is their job to listen, it didnt feel like it was much of a bothersome thing to do, by spilling out all thoughts possible. but if you tell the society that you have plans to meet a pschiatrist or a counsellor, they would probably think you've gone mad.

people would say, isnt't that why we all have friends? yeah, we do. but if it comes down to me telling a friend about my problems, it does somewhat feel like i am shoving a loadful of unforseen burden onto them. true, we have best friends who are willing to listen to everything we say without judging us. but they are humans too. surely they have a limit to these kind of mentally psychologically things don't they?

fact is, we are all humans and we all need to express ourselves one way or another. only probably is that from time to time, we are shunned from doing so. which will then be bulked up into a whole lot of mess later on. =/

well. i had'nt been going out yesterday nor today. so yeah, i tend to have a whole lot of 'alone' time and this was something that has brought some agitation in me.
bear with me would ya?
i'm just expressing myself. :)

i have been here for almost a week now, still trying to accept the fact that i am here rather stubbornly too. silly me. but i guess i really couldn't help it. i wake up every morning, knowing that i am here in australia, yet my heart was yearning for me to go back asleep, hoping that this was all a dream and that i would wake up in malaysia again. and everynight before i sleep, i'll be wide awake up until 5am where my body could no longer stand being awake, just because i wanted to feel the same as everyone is back at home.

part of me feels like screaming, "OMG! I'M IN AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!", but deep down, it only reminded me that i missed home.

yes, i'm taking this homesickness rather seriously. maybe because i have yet to start my officialy australian life as uni life will only begin on the 20th of this month. which in turn gives me plenty of time to THINK and have many torturous thoughts that would bring me back into feeling homesick. please forgive me, i am a girl, who likes to see things in a 'reality' manner. i don't see the point of fabricating emotions and being 'i am so freaggin happy here in australia, everything here is awesome, back home, everything sucks, boo you!' kinda person.

as honest as i can be, i am enjoying my time here. i am.
just that that tingly part of me is missing home.

Life is good.

Provided if you do know how to make the best of it. Thus a silly old habit of mine where I wouldn't believe it when ppl say, 'fml' or 'my life sucks'. Cause honestly, as bad as it gets, if you take things positively, I don't see how a problem could practically ruin your life.

Given the example that I am not allowed to do cheerleading anymore. Yes, that got me really upset for quite sometime, but that did not mean that it was the end of the world. Instead, it got me searching around for other interests that I can pursue, and today, I got myself to have more interest in writing. It may not bring as much excitement as cheerleading, but writing too had been one of my hidden passions. It was just about time that I dug this passion out and put in a little more effort as time passes, and improving it along the way. Who knows if I could actually publish a book someday? A distant dream, now unraveled. About time to take control. :)

Even when we may be facing some down moments in life, all that is needed is a little support from people who believes in us. We all know life is bitchy, it literally throws us all over the place, making sure that we hate life in someways. But with support, and inner courage, problems thrown in by life's PMS, would be tackled easily. Best of all, it brings us to a whole new level of experience once we manage to pull through that period.

If one were to compare how 'sucky' their life is, it really is incomparable. Simply because every individual will have their own set of problems, and each individual will have their own methods on countering the problem, and each individual have their own life for themselves. Fair enough to say that, NOBODY is in control of your own life, but you yourself. Yes, people may give you advices, share with you their story on how they tackle their problems, but you will find yourself handling the matter with your own might in the end. For each and everyone of us has got our own story, and that only 'we' know how to handle our own problems.

Many a times, we would end up making the wrong moves in trying to solve the problem, which would in turn cause it to be worse than it already is. Stop for a bit, was it really a mistake? Or was is it coincidentally that it was not the right thing and the right time that things just fell out of hand. Had it not brought you another scenario and brought you more knowledge on how to handle things better when these kind of things were to happen again in the near future? It really is about the positivity in us that needs to be strong. If everything could be taken lightly, would it not make your heart feel much more calm and lifted? Rather then feeling really depressed and then with all those mopping around, where will this bring you? Nowhere, I perhaps.

We listen to stories, which then inspire us to stay strong and that we can actually go through these problem we have in ease. There may be times where we would look at others and go, 'why can't I have a life like that too?'. Well, you can't, but you can definitely make your own happy ending. And there is also a factor of appreciation. Once we learn how to appreciate things, everything just seemed so much more beautiful than it originally was, somewhat an image that we never noticed before.

What I like to do, is read some inspirational quotes from time to time. Sometimes, they do bring some sort if sentimental realisation when everything seemed clouded. Probably these quotes were written when the certain inspiration or realisation, that was managed to be captured at that moment. Sort of like a vault of unnoticeable awesome moments, allowing people to relive those captured moments, and continue feeling inspired by them. :D

Okay. Emo nemo time done. :P
Feel like playing some tf2 though.
Been really lazy lately, hopefully,I'll remember that I have to be in uni this Tuesday. :D

life really is good.
just allow it to be.
<3

Hi. I is Asian.

I feel oh so Asian amongst people here in a foreign land. Even the Asians here speak their accent. I'm still with my Malaysian accent and that would take quite some time to be converted into the current accent. No, my old Malaysian accent will not die. It will probably be there and will only come back to live when I'm with my fellow Asians. :D

Waiting for my train to the city for another trip. It tends to get later as the day passes. I still have that zoo visiting thought in my head, but the time difference is causing my sleep time to be really off, thus missing the chance to view the zoo as a whole. It is now 5pm. If I were to visit the zoo, the perfect timing would be from 11am or latest 12pm. But I cant get up if I'm sleeping at about 5am daily, right? =/
Yeap. Pretty screwed up really.

Been used to staying awake until about 4-5 am back in Malaysia, and would only sleep when everybody was asleep. No idea why, but I did. And now that I am 3 hours ahead. I could no longer keep up with that streak of mine. =(
It still does feel like I am Malaysia if it weren't for the time difference. But the time difference is really bothering me.

Challenge of the day : navigate the city without a map.

Starting to like travelling alone. :D
Though honestly, I still do feel lonely despite knowing my friend is around. It does feel like I am pretty dependent on her as a company just because I am lonely. :( but I do feel much better with het company. Would probably feel alright if my sister was around too. Now to think of it, it probably is a good thing that I hadn't gone for Tassie. =O would probably be crying my eyeballs out if I were to be there at this point. =X

The loneliness in me is making me super excited that some of my buddies who will be coming over sometime next year. Right now, I've been hogging my mobile and my laptop to search for people to chat to, to keep me company, the avoid being succumbed by the homesick depression I have. :X I feel bad in a way, practically leeching on them to make myself feel better. I'm so sorry. T.T

Flinder's street again!
Detour: took the train all the way to Parliament, the nearest exit to Chinatown.
Shall head on down to Chinatown this time. :D

10.27pm
It is only now that I am headed down back home to where my sister lives, Camberwell. Had a nice chat with my friend from Malaysia. Will have to wait til 10.41pm for my ride back. It is rather late now. Considering that I have yet to be fully familiar with this place, it shouldnt be advisable for me to stay out this late. Was offered to stay at my friend's, but I figured it would be much nicer to travel home to where I can literally do whatever I can. I have the whole room to myself, and my laptop is back there too. Been too hooked to my laptop that I doubt I could survive one night without it.

Had my second servings of icecream again today. And my friend's father cooked me some good meal. I felt loved! Literally it was all I need to feel happy, to have a full, satisfied stomach. After all, if it wasnt for her, I would probably just stay at home and go hungry, ignoring everything possible.

Owh! And I survived walking the streets without a map! Yeayyyyy!! I am definitely proud of myself. I think I should give the city tour a day's rest. O.o Though I made my friend lead the way to the icecream store. It was much fun eventhough it was quite a distance away. Another proud moment, I didnt complain that it was far! :D walking with her made me feel safe, like it was alright being in a foreign country afterall. I guess all I needed was a company. =/

I am a leech! D=
I feed on people's vibe. :(

Manymanymany Asians here. :X
Can I be a Korean? :F

I secretly like trains as public transports. It makes me like an adult when I actually take them on my own. Somehow it feels like it is so much more convenient compared to buses and taxis. Probably because trains have only one specific route while the buses have several different ones. And probably there are so many different routes for buses, I just get too confused riding them. Buses are even numbered. :/ and taxis are for lazy people. :P

Okay I'm in the train now, feeling rather bored. I definitely miss home, but I am enjoying every moment I can while I am here. After all, this will be my life from now on. :) thinking about the past would only make me upset. So... future thoughts it is. ;D

Wheeeee~!
Day 4 in Melb, done!
Staying home tomorrow. Yeahhh. Time for some rest. :)

Lol! After that last note, I cried. Not bad. Damn my denial self! I keep doing that. =/ I kept denying that I'm not okay, and then I end up torturing myself much more than I normally would, when all I needed was to cryyyy. Well, crying isnt easy for me. Though my mummy tells me that I'm a cry baby. Well, I'd personally like yo believe that I am some super strong person and am denial of whatever people tell of my negative sides. :P

After a short session of tears, I am now on my way to the city. Despite how the shops should be closing by now, I still figured that it would be a feat for me to travel to the city on my own today. Hehe. I had this plan of going down to the city today, but I just didnt have the courage to. Thus I was procrastinating and fumbling around, thinking I wouldnt be able to get out of the house again. As mentioned earlier, it was only a matter of self realisation that I am in fact feeling homesick.

A tendency to be in denial and refusal of believing or accepting the fact of which things were happening. Sometimes things were happening too fast that it would really take me forever to accept change. Stepping my foot into aussie is a huge step. Nothing that I would have realised up til now. Even when they threw me the farewell party, it took me forever to digest what was happening. As for when they sent me off at the airport, I didnt want to believe that I had to leave everything behind and that I had to start anew all on my own.

I didnt even post anything about my first day here in Melbourne. Nor did u took any pictures of anything when everybody kept telling me to take pretty pictures to be shared with everyone back at home. Nope. I was in denial. A very strong one indeed.

Literally beating myself up with such behaviours. But I couldnt help it.

Flinder's street. :)

Hosier's lane
Hanguk sarami eyo?
*ani, naneun malaysia saramimnida!*
If only I said that, I would probably be some badass foreigner. :D
Too bad. I'll do that next time. ;)

Hrmm. Walking alone can be a little lonely at times. But I guess I have to learn how to get used to this sort of things from now on. With the constant fear of getting lost, it got my mind pretty occupied with where I was supposed to go. Or even to enjoy what there is right in front of me. :X hehe. It's quite cool though, sometimes, cause you dont have to worry about anybody else, and you could take your own time with whatever you want to do. :D

Right now, I'm chilling at some cafe, indulging myself with chocolate. Probably end up with a chocolate overdose someday. D= the chocolate here is just that irresistible. Think I was gonna save with food even when I'm here I'm aussie? Nope. Food is my life, not a single bit would I ever give into food. Unless of course my purse is empty and that my account is dry. :O nono, that is unlikely. I would save in every way that I can and spend them on food. Just like how I did back in college. :)

Owh finally one happy post after my arrival in Melbourne!! :D
I feel so proud of myself. =')

Walking down the streets if Melbourne city, am ever so tempted to drop into one of those shops just to shop for things. Clothing, shoes, food, everything!! But then to think that I come from Malaysia, everything here would be really costly for me. Hence, the necessary to think and to spend cautiously. Likewise, food would also have to be cut down in a way. Such a heartbreak. <\3 maybe my mind would change once I start with my uni life. Right now, I am only spending on what I really need, which is food. :F

Just met up with my friend from Malaysia. She had just arrived today. Was initially thinking of being ultimately selfish for being lazy to meet up with her, but I was killing myself with homesick depression. A meet up like that was definitely a good one. It had helped brighten my mood by a lot. And also not to forget, having a proper meal to fill up my tummy. Honestly saying, if I were to be at home alone, I would probably just ignore everything and just stone in bed. :D

This post sounds more like an awesome first day in aussie post, ain't it? Hehe. Seriously never thought I would be a victim of homesick depression. :P
Now that I knowwww, I guess I should be alright from now on. :)

Australiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! :D

Hullo!
It's my second day here in Melbourne. It's rather chilly and it would take me some time to get used to the weather here. Wasnt expecting the weather to be that extreme, seemingly the temperature fluctuates pretty drastically. For one day it could be rather chilly and the other might not be as chilly. However to me, chilly is chilly. Obviously I havent gotten used to the weather here just yet. Am pretty sure it will get chillier than this until which peaks at about July or so. Then, would be winter. I have no idea how I would be surviving that though. Haha.

Right now, I should be exploring the area like an excited kid. But nope, I couldn't find the courage to step out of the door on my own for now. I guess it is cause I am too used to going places with at leas a company. And I would only go alone to familiar places. But not at this moment. At least not yet. Just not yet.

I try not to let the fact that I am homesick, but it never fails to creep in somehow or rather. Fact that my mom has been calling me more often than how she usually did, it makes me feel even more upset than I already am. Telling me to take care of myself, telling me to do things that I would normally do if I were not in this state of mind. It reminded me that I am actually feeling homesick when I know I shouldnt be.

Another factor to me having homesick is the fact that I am at a different timezone than everyone back at home. I would normally stay awake until everybody had gone to sleep before I would be satisfied and then it'll be my turn to head to bed. Three hours ahead of everyone else, makes me feel like I am three hours short from everything else as compared to everyone there. By midnight there, it'll be 3am here already.

I refuse to believe that I am homesick, but I cant help it. I couldn't cry. I didnt want to. I miss how I had everyone around me. I miss how I could speak rubbish language and people would still understand me. I miss how I didnt have to worry that people wouldnt understand me when I speak with my comfortable tongue. I miss how I was the friendliest back at home when everyone here is so friendly that I feel like I'm some rude bitch. I miss my bed, where I could sprawl around and blast my music out loud during the day. I miss those big malls we had and that everywhere was nearer than what it is now. I miss home. I miss my friends. I miss you.

T.T

Jian Arn
Longest ah? Nah. Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. Not long enough. Hrmmm.
The guy who never fails to fly his car whenever he is given the chance to. No idea how his myvi would actually stand the speed at which he travels. Funny how it seems wreckless on the outside, but feeling safe in the car when he drives. Hrmm.
Eyh. Not bad! We got closer somehow. Yeayyyyy! First time we met, ausmat orientation. First impression: another lala kid. :P with that hair of yours, I really couldn't help but to think you are one. Now that I know you, thank goodness you are not as lala as I thought you were. That trip to bukit tinggi. I still don't know why or what it was that got me wanting to go. But I did! Haha! Quite cool. Got to bond with you, Brandon, and Kevin for abit before I leave. :) thank you! For driving around when the others aren't willing to, thank you for always being on time despite knowing how others will be late, thank you for coming to the events I planned, thank you for being an awesome friend. :D your whatsapp confirm will kena spam by me one, don't worry. :D take care! You better come Melb next year!! :DD you can cry now. :P <3
P/s. I am not as innocent as you think I am. I curse like mad whenever I am alone. :D you all la. Curse like nobody's business. Everyday hang out with ya'll somemore. Don't curse also abit hard ah. :P

Brandon
Hahahahaha! I only knew you as the planner for that group of friend. Then, I wasn't a part of the 'group' yet. Not sure how I got to know you better, but we did. :D was it because of meatballs or what? Can't really remember. What I remember is that ever since epic meal time came to play, it got me going around to your place quite often. Hahahahaha! Never knew you were the listening kind until we started talking about that matter that was bothering the crap out of me. It was then that I knew I could throw my problems into your face and you would listen patiently. I like the part when you respond intellectually. Something we don't see everyday. :) oh! I remember you trolled me by pulling my wipers up and pushing my side mirrors in when that parking was still there in front of college! Got me panicking for abit. LMAO! Thank you boss! For your patience! For driving people around! For organising random events! For being an awesome friend! Come visit me, yah? :D take care! <3

Kevin
Another one ah? I wrote one for you two days ago di eh. Meyh. Nevermind. Another one will do. Copy paste and save this somewhere okay? Reminder that you were the first to send me sentimental message via facebook when you wouldn't normally do. ;) other than that colourful mouth of yours, not bad la. I remember complaining about you when we had to do assignments together. Wah. Lazy until, can beat the crap out of you one. Lucky that time not that close yet, if not I scream at you already. :P uni starting already lo. Study properly please? Stop mia-ing for classes laaaaa. Money paid already, study while you have the chance to study. Not everybody got chance one you know? Then right, you want to come melb to study also have to have steady results for your first year. Which also means I'm indirectly telling you to study properly so you can come to Melb and study here also. :) I will be waiting! :D thank you for listening to me when I was down, thank you for being there for me when I needed someone. Please stop making other people drive when you can drive. It isnt fair for others who have cars too. :P then right, don't drive like a dumbtard. Got limit one okay?! ;) take care, boss! <3

Sean
The other one of the unsung heroes that got me into writing again. Couldn't stand it that ya'll were talking about writing and it got me wanting to write again. Look now, I'm writing almost everyday. Especially now that I have some canggih phone where I can write away whenever I have free time. You epic fella. I seriously respect that you have such high dreams and hopes to chase after. Some would probably say, 'ah, thats ridiculously hard to achieve screw it.' but no, you are determined. Which also got me inspired. :D fact that I got to be a model for a day last year, told me that dreams do come true. Fact now that I am even flying to aussie to study my dream course. See! Dreams do come true! Yeayyyyy! You, have to be strong, okay? Hold on to that epic dream of yours, I'd like to see you soar. And I will remember everything that you told me. Nehehehehe. :P thank you for being an awesome buddy! Psycho class would not have been the same without you! Three times a week, that same old spot that we sit at. :D and you manage to be really patient with me throughout the whole year, thank you so much for that! please do find me when you're in doubt, I'll make sure you'll be motivated to reach those dreams of yours. :) take care!! Drive safe, seriously. :O it gets kinda worrying ya know? :/ <3

Sadoon
I don't want to spoil the fun. But I have already written a thank you note right at the back of your journal. :) I read your letter too. Hahahahaha! I was pleasantly surprised to see a foreigner studying the same course as us. Lmao! Got me thinking, ooh! Must be friends! :D and ta-da! Look what we've got today? ;D I have no idea how you managed to tolerate my annoyance everyday and also my good for nothing problems from time to time too. Shyitt! Thanks to you, I started to game. Hahahahaha! Ya'll even took a video of me gaming when I thought you were off. >=( modern warfare, counter strike, dota, tf2. :D I especially like when we play tf2 online!! Best part is when we were on opposing teams, it would get me overly excited when I manage to kill you. :D Hahahahaha!! Great way to release the inner sadistic person that I am. Hoho. Damn. I miss playing like that. =/ thank you everything sadoon!! Thank you for the Arabic food too! Still loving the stuffed onions. :F thank you for being patient with me for all this while. Thank youuuuuuu!!!! <3

Natasha
The first to cry when I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. Sighh. You made me cryyyy! ='( good ah. If not I cry alone in the plane like some crazy person only. Hahahahaha! Heart pain weiyh see you cry like that. ='/ don't cry already okay? Everything is alright. Just the way it should be. I already sent you one letter, but apparently somebody gave me an assignment to do once I reached aussie, to write a thank you message to everybody, with different messages and different content each. And also to spam fb homepage with wishes. Tsk. Cannot imagine if amerlyn, yunelyn and Regina were to be there also, confirm make everybody cry also. =O thank you for crying! I finally got to cry freely. =P take care okay? <3

Rachel
Tsk! So emotional ah you. I remember supsershow, kangin's part, you cry until you seriously cry, I got scared. Hahahahaha! Yeayyyyy! I got my first letter from you. :D thank you very ze muchie! <3 my heart crying when I read that. Too bad cannot cry properly cause I was seated in between two other people, later they think I bin tai suddenly cry out of nowhere. :P huwaaa. Rachel now gotten brave already eh. That day you unexpectedly sang 'the boys' with me. Last time sure shy away and let me sing alone one. But then again. I am proud of you! Time to do some solo performance already! Go snatch the mic next time and sing likeaboss. :D take care!!! <3

Nicole
The one who didn't want to let me go when hugging. ='/ honey, I'm having it as bad as you are. My darling daughter. ='/ it's alright, everything is alright. :) funny how I just had that instinct of making you my friend. Thank goodness I did what I was supposed to do, and here I got myself an awesome friend. =') though we may only knew each other for approximately one year, those were moments best treasured. From that trip to kl, to that play where we saw you prancing around the stage, singing a phrase of 'how do you know she loves you, how do you know she's yours'. I feel like a proud mummy! XD and the best part is that you were always there looking out for me, making sure that I study, and that I didnt give up on my studies. Entertaining me when I tell you I wanted to die or I wanted to kill people, and then talking to me until those thoughts were thrown away. Kidnapping you places with me. :F eating food at random times. Haha! Epic! Be strong okay? Will see you when I come back. Take care! <3

Yune-Lyn
Didnt get to see you, didnt get to talk to you. Sigh. When I get a new phone, I call you first, okay? Orrrr, you inpatient then come Skype find me. =) Also, I have already said what I wanted to say earlier, so I guess to make this post a part of the spamming, I shall write more. :D you retarded child. Dunno laugh at what one. You forever laughing one lo. To a point where we end up laughing cause you looked funny when you were laughing, seemingly for no reason. =P eat also eat slower than a snail crawling one. But this one forgivable, if not everybody will hawk stare cause if you not there, I would be the slowest already. =P Hahahahaha!! Love how you're still a ballerina. You have no idea how much I admire ballerinas. And then that bersih rally took away my first chance of watching a ballet performance. Best part? You were the lead somemore. =( emo like shyitt lo. Hrmph. Faster go get Skype please! And take care of those knees. ='/ thank you for being awesome! My future bridesmaid! That is even if I can find boyfriend... Hrmm. Find me ah. :D <3

George
Yes! I still got the privilege right? Tze Sik. This one you confirm cannot delete one. Hohoho. Sorry boss. I just like your Chinese name. :D haha! I like how you are up for any outing we could possibly think of. Sitting there while studying, and then the sudden thought of going to one place, and off we go. Best part, you get to drive me instead!! Yeay! Hahahahaha! I am missing my sunny now. =( thank you though! I have a friend who I can hang with if I do stay back in college when I am studying til late. Both you and leanne. =') go clubbing also you bring one. Hahahahaha! Mission accomplish, ey? Quite sad I didnt get to see you before I left. But you, will be coming here, and I will continue whacking the crap out of you. :D thank you for all those loud unnecessary noises you make. Your presence will immediately make yunelyn laugh like some siao ja bo even when it isnt funny. :P haha! I'll see you around, okay? Til then, stay awesome, yah? I'm expecting to meet the same George again when the time comes. =)

Leanne
Haha! Why you so cute one? :) see me at the airport only then dun wan to let me go already. Heart pain ahhhh. I remember how I was so hungry one day, that you happened to cook fir George, I main whack and eat up half of it. =P got carrot, got super soft rice but not porridge, got tender chicken somemore, and broccoli! Or was it cauliflower? Next time I wan cook, I find you to teach me okay? :D Also remembered how we always sneak you our at night to grab dinner after we were done studying. Hehehe. Thank goodness I got to see you before I go!! =') thank you for coming!! Thank you for everything!!! Thank you for being awesome!! Come melb find me okay? :) <3

May Ee
Whose idea is it ah? Wahlao. Taking me forever to finish weiyh. Then wanna post somemore. Must be fast and spam the homepage with a streak somemore. Deng. No no, not troublesome one. =P no no, your virus not contagious one. =P seriously quite epic lo. Maybe cause everybody started using it and somehow it is easy to use, and there you have it, may ee disease. No no, you not awesome enough one. Hahahahaha! Woi! I help you carry your bag while cycling okay? Only remember me passing your bottle to you ah? Tsk. Terrible. :D haha! I quite jealous of your circle of friends lo. So close until, impenetrable one. One say don't go, everybody follow dont go. -.- joker! But anyhow, it was great knowing you. Definitely learned alot from you lo honestly. :) thank you very much, may ee! Thank youuuu!! Take care okay? :) <3

Sue
Sue Hor Sue Xian. Pronounced as sien and not sian or siennn(bored). I do not recall hugging you. Did you purposely not hug me? :O or I too emotional until I forgotten? Haha! Thank you for being a friend to natasha. :) lol! I am not sure why I said that, but I did. Hehe. I like how you have the camera and you work it like a pro! :D its not everyday that we see a female professional photographer. :) annnnnddd. You damn cute lah. You keep misplace things around, and forget if you have locked or not. :P actually, I have left my sunny unlocked for a few times already. Hahahahaha! Shhhh! But lucky nothing happened. Next time lock before you walk away. :D thank you for sending me off at the airport! It was great knowing you. Thank you for everything!! Hopefully I'll see you again sometime in the future! :) <3

Alvena
Psycho classmate. This one forever sitting behind with huiwen and xinyi one. Then every class also can see miss Jane get frustrated when you all answer the questions. Make the class enjoyable only. :D go new Zealand ah? Can one la. Didnt expect you to be that strong lo honestly, but yeap, now that I know you better, it seems convincing that you will be alright. :) free then come find me in melb ah! Or I come over to nz then you bring me go tour. :D thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? Will be stalking you now and then too see what wisdom and strenghty words or quotes you have. ;D take care!! :) <3

Jason yim
Yim Fong Yew! :D another one with nice Chinese name. :D haha! Thank you for following me when I was sending nicole back that day. Honestly, you worried I'd get her injured only right? Tsk! Haha! Thank you for coming to send me off. :) stay awesome okay? I still havent get to see your slick 'i-forgot-what-its-called' dance yet. =( ah yes. Keep it up with your music. :D become pro and become famous okay? :D ;) thank you for being awesome! You damn cool lah. Only seen you blur and cool. Like got no other expression one. =P take care okay? Stay awesome! Thank youuuu!!! <3

Yvonne
Hoi! This year you solo celebrate bday liao! Hehe. Take all the limelight you want, I'll be watching from far. :) 5years friendship and counting, every year also we celebrate together somehow, either that or I have to celebrate my bday earlier so it wouldnt clash with yours. Hehe. :) thank you for all those years of friendship. Though we may not be best of friends, we would still find time and hang out whenever we can. Those moments I really do treasure. Best of all, we could always relate to one another because we have same bdays. An excuse sometimes, but at least we were in sync! :D not easy finding others who have same bday with us okay? Though I knew a dozen others, but you were the closest. :') thank you for everything! Sorry this year you'll have to celebrate on your own. Stay awesome alright? We go for gongcha when I get back. ;D <3

Luke
The philosophy dude. Never knew it could get that serious. Good thing I was there to witness the golden moments before I left. :D Hahahahaha!! Your true self somehow punctured through reality and all those shrouds around you. ;D super determined, I like! Keep it up! Otherwise you wont be able to see Jeremy's shadow again. :P Hahahahaha! It was great to know you! Had so much fun with you guys. Meeples especially. And also them meatballs. =') stay awesome okay? I'll see yoy around. Thank you for everything! <3

Marcus
Pow pow chiki chiki boom boom pak. Omg. I remembered it. HAHAHAHAHA!! Why you so cute when you drunk?! XDDD and yes! I got to see it for myself before I left. :P haha! I like how the whatsapp group is like super random, anything also can talk one. :D haha! Good luck with you opt... What is the name of your course again? @@ something to do with eyes one. Hrmm. Still!! Best of luck! I shall come home and see your random acts again. More meeples please!!! :D take care! Thanks for coming!!! And thanks for everything!! <3

Jeremy
Forever mia one you. Dunno busy with what, miss out on all the fun only. Tsk! Whyyyyy Jeremy, whyyyyyy? Lucky you came for my farewell, if not you sure kena slaughtered one. :D got time, please do meet up with them, okay? I'd like to come home and see the bond between you guys still strong. =') thank you Jeremy! For everything! For being th chauffeur everytime there is an outing! Stay awesome okay? ;) <3

Gareth
You emo like shit. See you emo, I also enter emo. -.- whyyyyyyyyy?! Dont be so emo please. Andd. Get going with your uni. Got chance to study, go study. Don't waste it. This time right, study properly. ;D you'll be fine. Dont be so harsh on yourself, okay? =) thank you for everything! I've thanked you before, so, yeah. =P take care! <3

Wei Qi
Boss! Sudah pergi jauhjauh belajar ah? You also another ffk fella. Say want to go, but end up busy somewhere, then cannot come di. =( but at least you tried, so I guess it was okay. ;) take care okay? :D next time outing you plan ah! This one you cannot run away di. Nehehehehe. ;D thank you for everything!!!!!! <3

Adrian
Boss!! :D the one who never comes to my outings. What is this?! It's okay, I come disturb you everyday on Skype, twitter and steam. Hahahahaha!! No where you can run already. =P thank you boss! For everything. =) too bad I dont get to kacau you for the last time before I go. I annoying right? Wahahahahah. Padan muka for not coming. =P take care okay, boss? ;) <3

Alex
Chuuuuuuuuuuu. Reminds me pikachu whenever I call your name. :D nicelah. Alex chu, pikachu, your new nickname la boss! ;D you and your superb parking skills. How many times you kena saman already ah? :P lucky you drive not as scary as some people. Or maybe cause I havent sit long distance in your car before. Eeeee. Is that box of chocolate still I your car?! @@ Anyhoo. Take care! It was great knowing you! :D stay awesome kay, boss? ;D <3

Charis
The cheerleader. :D blitzers attack! Super chirpy one. Never once I see you being super emo and dead. A true cheerleader indeed. =) everytime say wan to go somewhere but everytime cannot go cause transport problem or parents dont let. Hehe. =P go join rebels or charm la! But rebels is better from what I heard. ;) live it up with that perky attitude of yours okay? ;D thank you for everything!! <3

Shermaine
Actually that day already sent you thank you message on fb, but what the crap. =P teacher's pet ah you!! Don't like! Everytime do something also teacher sure call you first. Then everytime say never finish homework one. Hahahaha! Ended up I din get to see tu before I go also. Emo lo! =( tskkkk. Dowan friend you! =(((( haha! Take care okay? Will see you sometime in the future or something. ;) <3

Haojia
Should have arrived by now already de lo. Adelaide weiyh. Sounds like a dead state to me. =X haha! Every outing also you will come one, somemore stay uper far, dont know how you find the determination to come up to sunway for all those events also. Petrol made from water weiyh! Not pain one meyh? I from puchong also pain di, you from klang. Omg. Haha! Anyhoo. Thank you for everything! :D somemore you super patient one. People all come late, can see you don't like, but you don't complain one lo. :) then sometimes also you organise trips. Yeap! Thank you!! :D take care!! ;D <3

Hui Wen
Birthday today! Oih? You older than me eh. Yeayyyyy!!!! :P happy birthday!!! Haha! My psycho classmate. =) quite psycho also one. Gets super happy when she gets to answer the question correctly, not correct then negotiate with miss Jane. =P psycho class was fun, wasnt it? :D thank you for everything!! :D wishing you all the best in the things you do! Hope to see you soon? ;) <3

Ritsz
Was initially thinking of going tasmania too, but monash was the better offer. =/ it's alright, you can come pop by Melbourne for a visit before going over to Tassie! :D or I can go Tassie to find you! Yeayyyyy!! Can la. Onsss!! :D take care hun! I'll see you around! ;D <3

Wai Yih
Deng. I dont really know you lah. Only know I went to your math class and then I sit behind you guys only. HAHAHAHAHA! Oops. How ah boss? =P going Sarawak, kan? Take care okay? :D will see you when I see you. ;D <3

Edmund
Teong ah? Tsang Whon. Or Won. Like Korean name only. Spit coffee into my face somemore!! Hahahahaha!! :D months right? :) take care okay? Thank you for your coffee spray. It was much joy. XD take careeeeee!!!!! <3

Cheryl
Hullo!! So sad couldnt see you before I go. =( you take care okay? You're strong enough to get through this. =) got problem go find brandon! He confirm will hear you out and support you one. If you need a girly moment, come find me also can! ;) be strong, okay? <3

3200 feet above sea level, directly above Jakarta. *the pilot just announced, but I forgotten what the number was exactly. LOL*

How I wish my flight has entertainment screen where I can just play for the whole night until I arrive in the fresh smelling atmosphere of Australia. Nope. I had to opt for the cheapest flight. And hence, airasia. Definitely gonna fly malaysian airlines if I am given the chance to, next round. Hrmph.

Lets go with a story now, shall we? I'm pretty much too bored right now in my seat, stuck in this crampy seat of mine, with a slightly empty tummy, writing would work best right now. Prolly taking about 1 to 2 hours, just writing. Hee! <3

The night before my flight, I was running up and down the room trying to figure out how to cut down my luggage weight. It was overweight by about 5kg, and I had nothing else that I could possibly think of taking out. Lifting my luggages over and over again, placing them on the weight scale and then taking it off, before unzipping the luggage and then sitting there stoning, thinking what is there that I could possibly NOT bring over. Been travelling before, but never really in such a scale where I literally have to bring EVERYTHING with me. I was worried that there were things that I needed to bring but was unable to. But it was getting me into alot of unnecessary stress, so I decided to just let it be overweight, and went to sleep. That would be about 4.20 in the morning.

I am missing my bed already. Which was precisely why I didnt even bother replying any messages when it started ringing at about 8am. Figured that I needed time with my bed much more than my phone, I continue sleeping. It was almost noon when I woke up. But I still lay around and roll in bed. Even camwhored with my darling pooh bear for abit, reluctant to leave the bed. ='/

Figured that I practically had nothing left to do, I just lay there in bed for almost ever. Until I sat at the desktop, searching for how much it would cost me if I had overweight luggages. Then an idea came, I could take those excess weights and put them as hand carrys! It was a serious proud moment then as I had finally figured a way to solve this overweight issue. :D and so I went packing. How satisfied I was. Hehe.

After a late lunch, I thought of my bed again. Little did I know, I was rather tired and I just went to sleep. Another round of sleep! The last time I pigged like that had been quite some time ago, and boy, was the sleep a satisfying one. I have always used the excuse to sleep whenever I feel upset, thinking I would wake up, and forgetting what I was thinking of prior to that sleep. It normally works out fine. And this time, it did it's magic again.

Despite how much I wanted to avoid the fact that I am actually leaving the place that had built my life for who I am today, time had came and pushed me from the back, pushing me to face the reality somehow. My heart continued to race faster as the time was nearing for me to say my farewells. I guess I was that reluctant to say goodbye. Saying goodbye is like telling myself, I must leave this life behind and I must start all over again from nothing. But the fact that I know these people will always be behind me, it kept me strong. It kept me knowing that regardless of whatever that could happen to me, I can always come home to these people.

Yeap. Story time is over. Gosh. It feels like I've been talking crap for the first half of the blogpost. What to do? I am bored and stuck in this seat for 8 hours. =(

I really did thought I could leave this place silently and be forgotten by everyone. I stupidly thought that it was the best for these people around me and it would probably be easier for me to move on. Lesson learnt, keeping things to yourself will only kill you mentally and then physically. But thank goodness I was not that stupid afterall, for I did tell people that I was leaving, and soon it was spreading like wildfire. It got me being happier than I initially was. Now that I know that they have done so much for me, I could not help but to learn the value of appreciation.

I got to spend precious time with some of them, and I have gotten much more closer to them. Learning who they are, learning who I am was a part of the process that was overshadowed by all those fun we had. I live in denial. And everything for me was a surprise. And it moves my heart even more, making me wanting to cry with everything they did for me. All those sessions had given me the much needed strength to help me go through what I am about to face in the future.

I have seen friendships failing all the time. I was really scared and worried that it would happen to me. Probably the reason why I had decided to be selfish and wanting to leave unnoticed. But the realisation came, where friends will be around regardless of whatever that happens. Distance is definitely NOT A PROBLEM when it comes to friendships. There need not ...

Whoa! J.D and coke?! 350ml for rm25?! Omg.

Constant contact with each other. One that I have learned to see and treasure, is the fact that I have had friends whom I had no contact with for a few years, yet when we do meet up, it felt like those silence was nothing at all. And that was the silence strength that we all have. Knowing that we have a friend who will always be rooting for us, eventhough they may not say it or show it, the fact that you know you have a friend like that, it was comforting enough. =')


The journey to the airport was nerve wrecking. For a friend had called to ask where I was. Haha. Joker, I was just leaving puchong then. Which meant they have to wait for me to arrive in about 45minutes time. =P I had a few tears while I was on my way. Reality was kicking in, there was nowhere to hide. Walking towards my check in counter, my heart was literally trying to break free from my chest or something. Fact that I knew I had friends waiting for me already, I was moments away from crying. "this will be the last time I would probably see this people." *heaves a heavy sigh*. I could see all of them waiting at mcD, but I turned to check in before going back to them. When I was done with the check in, three gentlemen came to greet me. =)

As though those first batch of people were not enough, my high school buddies came in another batch to see me off. Definitely no running away this time. I was so speechless that I didnt know what to do. All I did was look at everyone and sighed.

It was time to go, leanne and nicole could not let go of me. But I really had to go, natasha came and gave me a hug, and the tear fest let lose. Those tears were flowing like nobody's business and it just went on flowing and flowing and flowing. Went to each and everyone and gave them each a hug. Some words were mentioned to me while we were hugging. But I was busy crying that I could only remember a few. These people are love. Some I may not know with my heart, but I knew enough to make my life an awesome one. =')

These people meant the world to me. My friends have swarmed Ikea, ICity, sunway pyramid and people's houses. Now they have swarmed lcct. One that I did not plan for, and one that got me into tears. Where are we gonna swarm next? Melbourne? :D

I thank you all with all my heart for making an appearance to send me off. Seriously I would have continued crying if I had not have to walk up to the immigration and be a normal human, being late for my boarding. Hahahahaha! <3

I love you.
Thank you for everything.
I'll be back. Make sure you remember me. Otherwise I'd cry for a tsunami and drown all of you so that I can see ya'll in heaven and tell you, 'ha! We're together forever now! Yeayyyyy!'. =P
Kidding. Just stay alive until I get back okay? I am missing you guys already. =')
Thank you!
I owe you the world!! <3
*bear hug*

3.52am, 8th Feb 2012.

hello there, it has been awhile, has it not? heh. i've been busy hanging out with my friends having my last farewells with these people before i leave for good. also because i have partially lost the mood for blogging. have been really overwhelmed with the fact that i am actually leaving malaysia for australia, and stepping foot into a dream that i have always been dreaming of. it actually is coming true. i still find it really hard to believe so. but after all those preparation i have done, the only thing left to do is to bring that bold and brave attitude in me to surface, strong enough to face this huge hurdle that is placed right before my eyes at this moment.

there are so much to prepare that i even got confused with what i am supposed to pack in the first place. when i initially think of packing this, then another thought of something else came into mind, immediately eliminating the previous thought due to the lack of space i have in my luggages. i literally have to pack my whole closet there in order for me to feel safe that i have enough clothes to wear. but i am losing out on alot of other necessary things too. best way to solve this? write a list of course! but as the list grew, the importance of each object was losing it's placing as the luggage slowly begins to fill up. leaving me no choice but to pack them again when i come back for a second round. hopefully i have what i need for the whole period i will be there.

realise that this post is slightly boring and also quite out of topic, let's just assume this is some random rantings i have, talking about my random thoughts at the current moment yeah? haha! it's been awhile since i've gotten loose with my thoughts while i blog. seems like serious blogging was much more fun. BUT I WAS REALLY THAT OCCUPIED FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS! =(

the blues had taken place and blew me off my feet a few times already now. i ocassionally fall into depression thinking i will be leaving this place that i have grown with, forgotten. but i guess a little appreciation was all i needed to help me have my confidence back on the ground to feel that i will be alright eventhough i had to start a totally new life over the sea. i had been excited that i was actually reliving my dream at first. but the sadness slowly crept in, slowly, but very alarmingly. it is now that i realised that these people whom i know, are those who are the most spectacular people anyone could ever come to know of. i have no words to describe how awesome these people are, and i have learned to appreciate the littlest things that they have even given me. their appearance in my life itself is worth the world to me. now, instead of me worrying about them forgetting me, it is me, appreciating every single thing that they have given me in whichever time in my life that they appeared in.

the past two weeks had been really rough on me, knowing that it would probably be my last time meeting all these awesome people. it got me more and more reluctant to go to each meet up. the refusal attitude of me wanting to accept the fact. the stubborness of me not wanting to let go. the hardheaded side of me that i didn't want things to change for the fear that i could very well end up really lonely and sad in the land down under. as much as i try to be optimistic, sometimes reality does hit me really hard and i couldn't help but to stay in bed and gloom about it for the whole day. it was only courage and the appreciation that got me standing, to get up and say my last goodbyes. it got much harder to accept as the flight closed in.

and today, i am on my last day here.
i am nervousexcitedsadhappyanxiousworriedhomesickcuriousoptimisticscaredeager and many other vocabs that i could fit in, but these are all that i could think of at the moment. guess it is all that is needed to explain what i am feeling right now, yeah? haha

there were moments where i really felt like crying, for feeling touched, for feeling sad, for feeling heavy hearted and all, but i guess i am confused for what i am actually feeling that i could not squeeze any of those tears from my tear ducts at all. or maybe my tear ducts are severed. or it could also possibly be because that i am just not normal to begin with. hrm. i'd like the first option. ;D

it's my final night here!!
omgggggggggggggg
i wish i can sleep in bed for the whole day tomorrow, i'm missing my bed so much right now. a queen sized bed all to myself, with the freedom to kick and stretch however i likve without worrying of getting bruised, ahhhhh. i am feeling homesick already. ='(

what about my aunt?
yeah. i'm worried as hell for her, honestly. but she kept telling me, 'haha! when you're not around, i'll be so much more happier, less one person to be worried about.'
after all those years, i have learned her sarcasm methods of communicating. like of course she will be worried about me. not being vain, but she is like my mother to me. how could she not worry about me?! =P but i have a dream to chase. and i will come home someday, i owe her my life. and i know that i will have both her and my mother with me forever, through thick and thin, through the blizzard and the summer's heatwave, UNTIL THE DAY I DIE! their heart is mine to keep. =)

dear future boyfriend of mine, i do not have a heart. good luck finding it.

it's a clue there, isnt it?
oh my goodness. it has been so long since i last let loose of myself like this. i guess when i was really bored, i found academic writing much more amusing, but THIS is magical. =O

LMAO! you actually read up til here, give yourself a smile would'ja?
life is awesome, and so are you.
make rainbows when life gives you colours.
stay awesome! <3