After glooming around due to the Lack Of Attention I have from my friends, I have decided to occupy my mind with studying. Sound a whole lot depressing than I first thought it would be. Had been warned by my sister earlier that all these chattings with friends would eventually stop and disappear within a month, tops. True enough, I am two days short of my 1 month stay here in Aussie, and the majority of people had in fact disappeared.

It did take me some time to take control over this overwhelming feeling of being lonely. I mean, I couldn't help it. The loneliness does kick in rather harshly, especially when I wake up to find that I have nothing to do. Those would be the moments that I would just sit there, finding no energy or any point to even get out of bed then. This ocassionally happens during weekends, where I can have at least a day's rest from the load of studying I need to do.

All these while when I am here, I kept denying that I was feeling lonely, and that it was taking me sometime to get used to the place and all. Truth is, I managed to settle down quite easily, as in when it comes to my new house. I just immediately felt like it was my home. At least it provided a 'sanctuary' for me to just sit there and just collect my thoughts, and do absolutely anything I want to.

In a way, the classes are structured where we have hardly any time for us to socialise, and the only time we could is probably during our own free time. Knowing I am the kind of person who would rather be alone than to feel like I am bugging someone else, it tends to get a little bit upsetting sometimes. Somewhat like you see a group of people, happily giggling away, you wouldn't want to jump in in the middle of nowhere and spoil the fun, no? Chances of you spoiling the fun in that matter would be much higher than you actually joining in the fun. Yeap. It got me in the mode of extra unnecessary thinking all over again. Depriving myself from communicating and making friends. At this point, I do believe I am rather desperate to have a company with me.

Maybe it's just me feeling insecure, maybe it's just me being silly, whichever it is, this is what that has been happening since uni started.

I suppose I can actually get used to this. After all, my goal was to come here and get proper education. Never really giving it a thought of anything else, really.

Fact that some of my friends back in Malaysia are saying that they will be coming over next year to continue their education. It got me really excited, knowing that I will have some company when they do come. But then reality came in and kick me in the face; they will be off in a different campus, their lives would be a different one, where I might end up not fitting the same spot I left behind. THE ENZYME-SUBSTRATE ACTIVE SITE HAS DENATURED! As you can see, the studying has gotten the best of me. HAHAHA I SOUND LIKE A NERD! YEAYYYYY!!!!!! For once in my life, I could actually be a proper nerd. :F
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Tracking back, in an event if they do come, I would definitely try to see if I still can fit into that space I left in that friendship of ours, if I succeed, then yeay! If I don't then maybe it's just not my luck. :O
But regardless, I will still need friends around here, it's just that I have pretty much given up trying to make friends. Right now, I am planning to join the clubs activities, maybe some interest would spark up somewhere and the conversation would flow smoothly then. *fingers crossed*

AS OF NOW...

I shall resume studying. :)

and also eating. :D